snowflake293
04-05-16, 11:15
Hi all
Recently lost 2 members of my family before their time (both to the c word) Got 2 colleagues off sick with the c word and my Dad has anaemia and collapsed a few weeks ago and Drs think it could be due to internal bleeding so worrying about him now too as he has to have lots of tests :(
I feel like everywhere I turn, its the c word. I feel I cant enjoy my life cause I am paranoid I have it, or my fiancé has it, or someone I love is going to suffer/die. I was looking at my fiancé last night and telling him how much I love him and how scared I am that something will happen! We get married in September and in my head I just feel like something awful will happen before then :( I hate feeling this way!
My health anxiety WAS loads better, but had a lot go on recently and I can feel it creeping back in. Got all the physical anxiety stuff going on today, tummy pains, fuzzy head, tight chest, dry mouth etc... but of course I am worrying it is 'something else' currently worrying I have the following:
Skin Cancer (funny looking moles, too scared to see the dr)
Stomach Cancer (due to tummy pain)
Bowel Cancer (due to pains)
Bone Cancer in my spine (due to back pain!)
So bloody paranoid and the c word and so scared that something bad is going to happen to me or my family. Every time the phone rings my heart sinks! even before I go to bed I pray I wont get a call in the night to say that something else has happened.
Starting to feel really on edge again like I am going to lose it big time like I did last year :( I just want to take some diazepam and crawl under a duvet :(
Managing to function and 'outwardly' at work and in social situations I am 99% ok! My manager is lovely and she but quite surprised when I told her about my mental health problems. Cause I 'look' ok I sometimes find it hard asking for help. I feel it is the same with going to the GP too. I feel they get frustrated with me and just think I am some silly neurotic young woman who Googles too much!
Reality is, I feel like I am losing my mind. I ended up self-harming in January which I hadn't done in about 12 years or so! My head is all over the place. One day I am absolutely fine, the next I am in floods of tears cause my fiancé is 5 minutes late home and I think something has happened.
I can't go on with all this. I stopped having talking therapy some months back but I am still on my medication (no plans to come off that) Should I go back to my GP and ask for some more talking therapy, or could this just be a blip?
xx
Recently lost 2 members of my family before their time (both to the c word) Got 2 colleagues off sick with the c word and my Dad has anaemia and collapsed a few weeks ago and Drs think it could be due to internal bleeding so worrying about him now too as he has to have lots of tests :(
I feel like everywhere I turn, its the c word. I feel I cant enjoy my life cause I am paranoid I have it, or my fiancé has it, or someone I love is going to suffer/die. I was looking at my fiancé last night and telling him how much I love him and how scared I am that something will happen! We get married in September and in my head I just feel like something awful will happen before then :( I hate feeling this way!
My health anxiety WAS loads better, but had a lot go on recently and I can feel it creeping back in. Got all the physical anxiety stuff going on today, tummy pains, fuzzy head, tight chest, dry mouth etc... but of course I am worrying it is 'something else' currently worrying I have the following:
Skin Cancer (funny looking moles, too scared to see the dr)
Stomach Cancer (due to tummy pain)
Bowel Cancer (due to pains)
Bone Cancer in my spine (due to back pain!)
So bloody paranoid and the c word and so scared that something bad is going to happen to me or my family. Every time the phone rings my heart sinks! even before I go to bed I pray I wont get a call in the night to say that something else has happened.
Starting to feel really on edge again like I am going to lose it big time like I did last year :( I just want to take some diazepam and crawl under a duvet :(
Managing to function and 'outwardly' at work and in social situations I am 99% ok! My manager is lovely and she but quite surprised when I told her about my mental health problems. Cause I 'look' ok I sometimes find it hard asking for help. I feel it is the same with going to the GP too. I feel they get frustrated with me and just think I am some silly neurotic young woman who Googles too much!
Reality is, I feel like I am losing my mind. I ended up self-harming in January which I hadn't done in about 12 years or so! My head is all over the place. One day I am absolutely fine, the next I am in floods of tears cause my fiancé is 5 minutes late home and I think something has happened.
I can't go on with all this. I stopped having talking therapy some months back but I am still on my medication (no plans to come off that) Should I go back to my GP and ask for some more talking therapy, or could this just be a blip?
xx