Anxiety mounting and mounting

[molrol]

Still worrying about the move. I feel really tearful all the time, even the thought of packing up the house had me in tears yesterday. In the last 24hours, i've cried in a restaurant, on the way to work and again in work. I can't shake the feeling of doom in my stomach. I can't bring myself to tell the neighbours we are leaving and i am seriously considering phoning the estate agent and pulling out. Its the last thing on my mind at night and first thing in the morning. I see my cats playing in the neighbours garden with their kids and i think 'what if they get killed on the new road' and i think about going on holiday, how we feel 100% safe leaving them alone in this house but in the new house how i will never be able to relax because of the road. I think about how much harder it will be to get to work. This current place is SO EASY. Hassle free. why are we giving that up?

My boyfriend is frustrated. He is excited about the move and can't understand why i am so anxious about it. He sees it as a new chapter, something to tick off the bucket list - move to the countryside. If we don't like it, we will move back to the city. Simple. Why can't i feel like that? Why is this such a thing for me? Is the doom telling me i'm making a mistake or is this just what anxiety does? Should i just go for it or should i be a slave to these feelings and call it all off? I feel like i'm on a pendulum swinging, one extreme to the other. i cant even look at pictures of the new place at the moment as it makes me feel sick. How am i going to live there?

[Oosh]

I'd try and work out which were valid fears. You should be able to find those answers.

1. You can do the commute from there to work how you envisage doing it and experience what it's going to make you feel.

2. You can sit there in a vehicle for a few hours and picture how safe the environment is/isn't going to be for your cats. Are your fears (the imagined) real ?

If there are real problems, are there solutions.

Then instead of focusing on the fears list the positive things again about being there. Remind yourself of them.

Once again, if there are any aspects that aren't ideal can solutions be found.

Ultimately it's perfectly OK to decide there are valid deal breakers or that you are discovering you like your current home too much. But don't let just anticipatory anxiety stop you. Remember the saying "feel the fear and do it anyway". I've always found it really useful. But step back and calculate if there are valid reasons for not moving that can't be overcome.

[molrol]

Hiya,

Thanks for replying. I have just come from my regular counselling session where we talked at length about this problem.

Much like you said, we worked out that most of the fears were anxiety related fears that shouldn't hold me back, however the one fear which was valid was the one about the cats. Ultimately, i can't 100% guarantee their safety on that road, and as a result that is a genuine worry that needs addressing. I left feeling very calm and clear headed and immediately told my boyfriend we needed to discuss the cat/road safety issue tonight!

[Oosh]

Fantastic :yesyes: