molrol
05-05-16, 10:14
Still worrying about the move. I feel really tearful all the time, even the thought of packing up the house had me in tears yesterday. In the last 24hours, i've cried in a restaurant, on the way to work and again in work. I can't shake the feeling of doom in my stomach. I can't bring myself to tell the neighbours we are leaving and i am seriously considering phoning the estate agent and pulling out. Its the last thing on my mind at night and first thing in the morning. I see my cats playing in the neighbours garden with their kids and i think 'what if they get killed on the new road' and i think about going on holiday, how we feel 100% safe leaving them alone in this house but in the new house how i will never be able to relax because of the road. I think about how much harder it will be to get to work. This current place is SO EASY. Hassle free. why are we giving that up?
My boyfriend is frustrated. He is excited about the move and can't understand why i am so anxious about it. He sees it as a new chapter, something to tick off the bucket list - move to the countryside. If we don't like it, we will move back to the city. Simple. Why can't i feel like that? Why is this such a thing for me? Is the doom telling me i'm making a mistake or is this just what anxiety does? Should i just go for it or should i be a slave to these feelings and call it all off? I feel like i'm on a pendulum swinging, one extreme to the other. i cant even look at pictures of the new place at the moment as it makes me feel sick. How am i going to live there?
My boyfriend is frustrated. He is excited about the move and can't understand why i am so anxious about it. He sees it as a new chapter, something to tick off the bucket list - move to the countryside. If we don't like it, we will move back to the city. Simple. Why can't i feel like that? Why is this such a thing for me? Is the doom telling me i'm making a mistake or is this just what anxiety does? Should i just go for it or should i be a slave to these feelings and call it all off? I feel like i'm on a pendulum swinging, one extreme to the other. i cant even look at pictures of the new place at the moment as it makes me feel sick. How am i going to live there?