.Poppy.
05-05-16, 15:39
So, for a whole week I was feeling just fine again. I had a lot more confidence in myself. My mother had her birthday party and she loved the gift I gave her. I went to a friend’s party and had an absolute blast. I was starting to feel normal again. It was totally amazing.
And…yesterday it started slipping away. Today it’s even worse.
It’s like I’ve been bombarded with all the things! all at once. Suddenly I’m worried about my hair thickness/shedding again. I’m worried about my skin (less so, but still). I’m worried about all the “what ifs”. Am scouring my skin for any suspicious bumps. Am afraid of lyme disease, and really just catching anything or having a family member catch it.
I also read an article yesterday about a bacteria in lakes that can sometimes be harmful (won’t post specifics so as not to trigger) and started getting afraid of that! It’s super rare, apparently, and I don’t even swim in lakes nor do my dogs but of course I started becoming afraid that I would get it or they would…somehow.
After reading that I started feeling poorly…headache, nausea. I’m able to rationally tell myself I do NOT have that disease, there is no way I could, but I still feel crummy and subconsciously am able to convince myself that it’s just something bad even though it could be anything.
I thought I was through my meds side effect phase so I don’t think that could be it, but maybe?
I am also under a lot of stress. Finals week is this week, plus I have one I need to take tomorrow. My dog is also starting on anti anxiety medication (unrelated to my own anxiety!) and I’m really nervous about how that will go over.
It’s just so frustrating because I was feeling sooooooo much better and then was bombarded with everything all at once. I have therapy tomorrow and will talk about it. I’m trying to rationalize like crazy. I’m trying to remind myself of how happy I was just last week and that I can get there again. It’s just exhausting, I think.
And…yesterday it started slipping away. Today it’s even worse.
It’s like I’ve been bombarded with all the things! all at once. Suddenly I’m worried about my hair thickness/shedding again. I’m worried about my skin (less so, but still). I’m worried about all the “what ifs”. Am scouring my skin for any suspicious bumps. Am afraid of lyme disease, and really just catching anything or having a family member catch it.
I also read an article yesterday about a bacteria in lakes that can sometimes be harmful (won’t post specifics so as not to trigger) and started getting afraid of that! It’s super rare, apparently, and I don’t even swim in lakes nor do my dogs but of course I started becoming afraid that I would get it or they would…somehow.
After reading that I started feeling poorly…headache, nausea. I’m able to rationally tell myself I do NOT have that disease, there is no way I could, but I still feel crummy and subconsciously am able to convince myself that it’s just something bad even though it could be anything.
I thought I was through my meds side effect phase so I don’t think that could be it, but maybe?
I am also under a lot of stress. Finals week is this week, plus I have one I need to take tomorrow. My dog is also starting on anti anxiety medication (unrelated to my own anxiety!) and I’m really nervous about how that will go over.
It’s just so frustrating because I was feeling sooooooo much better and then was bombarded with everything all at once. I have therapy tomorrow and will talk about it. I’m trying to rationalize like crazy. I’m trying to remind myself of how happy I was just last week and that I can get there again. It’s just exhausting, I think.