View Full Version : Interacting with people everyday but still no change in myself
Hi guys.iv suffered mental health for 13 years now...iv had my own flat for 1.5 years and live a lonely life..iv developed terrable social anxiety and find it very hard to talk or engage with people...when i do interact,i start to feel very agitated and anxious and my face starts to suffer pain all over.then i start to feel hot and very tired and have no interest whats so ever in talking to who ever it is im talking to...iv been told to stick with it and i have,but it just isnt getting any easer.its been months now being like this and im realy jelious of everyone around me,esp when i see people chatting and laughing together.i would love to be that relaxed and happy..i just cant see a end or a light at the end of this very long tunel im in..i hate being on my own all day but cant deal with people..i just dont know what to do anymore..early this year i was having good days hear and there,but they seem to have gone now and everyday i feel crap and very unhappy..im 50 this august and dont have anything in life to look forward to...i have had a couple of things iv been involved in this year that should have cheered me up,but they didnt..i feel like im not living ,im just existing each day waiting to die...the weather is great hear and thats not cheering me up...nothing is helping and im ****ed of feeling like this every day i wake..any advice..
LittleMissAlone
08-05-16, 13:08
Hi Greg
You're not alone, in the sense that I know what you mean about life passing you by. I live alone and find interaction with others difficult. Today I've been I to a friends and I've just bumped into 2 neighbours for brief chats. Despite lovely weather I'm still feeling bad when our. I felt sick and weepy throughout visit and I was supposed to go to my parents but didn't make it there, making them even more worried about me.
Do you think it's the time of the year bringing you down again?
Hang on though, reaching out on here is a very good step forward.
Thanks for your reply littlemiss...i cant believe 144 people have viewed my post and only you have offered suoport.iv been a member of NMP for several years and a lot of people know me in hear,but the last couple of posts iv had hardly any responce..i think ill stop using this site anymore.sorry to hear you olso are not feeling well at this time of year..i feel like i could cry at anytime to..i dont think the weather is causing my isues,i love summer and long for the nice hot sunshine to arive but this year now its hear,im not feeling happy.nice latter days,light till 9pm low gas costs etc.what is thete not to feel happy about...life should be joyfull at this time of year not miserable ..life sucks..
LittleMissAlone
09-05-16, 08:49
Hi Greg
I put up a post yesterday and I got 130 views and no responses! Mine didn't sound as desperate as yours though. I've just read another post and the lady sounds worse than you, losing her kids, etc. It would be nice to take away people's pain but unfortunately it doesn't work like that.
I'm feeling a lot better today. I spoke to my uncle on the phone yesterday and he gave me some excellent advice which I'm going to try to do. Won't be easy, but he's been there and was very bad for years. He's been fine for decades now too.
People do recover from this. Do you find your meds helpful?
MyNameIsTerry
09-05-16, 09:04
Sorry to hear things are still rough, Greg. Do you think you should try increasing your Olanzapine slightly to see if it's that? Or are you still reducing?
I get what you mean, I'm 40 and have similar concerns. I've been through low stages where I would look around at others and think how lucky they were and it just made me feel worse. These days I've gone past caring about that and I don't look at people and have those thoughts much anymore and even when I do it's more "you lucky sod" and I move on pretty quickly. Otherwise it is depressing and it sucks you further down.
I think you have got things in your life though, people, like your daughter. You've got many good years to come with her as she grows up. Who knows, you might be walking her down the isle at some point? Maybe even grandkids of your own?
Now you have a bit more energy, is exercise perhaps something that you can be doing more of? Even if it's longer walking in the nice weather or even cycling if there is any way to get a bike (I know that can be hard with limited funds, just a suggestion)? Exercise can help with the hormones, be distracting and wear us out if the adrenaline is high.
I doubt those viewing numbers mean a great deal mate, look how there is very few people logged on pretty much any time of the day. I reckon most of those numbers are watchers and web spiders. My Mindfulness thread has had over 8,000 views...we never seem to have more than 100 or so people around here. One of my games threads has had over 18,000 views...probably because it gets bumped by loads of new comments each week.
I know what you mean though, some of the old discussions seem to have ended and some have perhaps moved on? There's a few people I don't see around much these days, if at all. And with you posting on not many threads outside your own, newer people probably don't get to know you. Besides, you know this place is all about the HA, GAD isn't as busy.
Shazamataz
09-05-16, 10:37
Hi Greg,
I haven't met you but just popping in to say hi and you are not alone.
It can be discouraging when you start a thread and nobody or hardly anybody responds but, like Terry said, it may not be actual members who have viewed things.
Whether I write anything depends on how I am on the day, I expect that's the same for others too. Sometimes I just don't have the energy or feel I have anything worthwhile to add.
However, I can relate to your story somewhat. I'm 45, never married, no kids, live alone with my two dogs and a cat and it can get lonely. I've recently had to leave work because of my anxiety and now the days are very long being anxious and exhausted but unable to relax etc.
I just have to keep saying nothing is permanent and thins CAN get better. Even finding simple pleasures to look forward to. I get a lot from my dogs. You have a daughter and can look forward to watching her grow up.
There is always hope.
There HAS to be!
Hugs
Hi Greg
Please keep posting.
Unfortunately I don't have any clever suggestions as I feel the same way myself, minus the having a beautiful daughter to hang around for.
I think there are a quite a few people on this site in our shoes. Perhaps we refrain from posting as we don't want to feel as though we are pulling others down into our own black hole.
Perhaps as Terry suggested a tweak of your meds may help.
Keep in touch
I agree with Elen here, Greg. A lot of people probably feel as you do and don't know what to say.
Hi Greg
I put up a post yesterday and I got 130 views and no responses! Mine didn't sound as desperate as yours though. I've just read another post and the lady sounds worse than you, losing her kids, etc. It would be nice to take away people's pain but unfortunately it doesn't work like that.
I'm feeling a lot better today. I spoke to my uncle on the phone yesterday and he gave me some excellent advice which I'm going to try to do. Won't be easy, but he's been there and was very bad for years. He's been fine for decades now too.
People do recover from this. Do you find your meds helpful?
Hi little miss.thankyou so much for your reply...sounds like you are in the same boat as me with the views..glad you ate feeling better today you need to make the most of these days as i find they just dont last..id love to think things will get better for us all but iv been this way for 13 years now and just feel my brain is wired to allways feel this way
Hi Greg, can't offer any advice mate as social anxiety is probably the least of all my anxiety issues. Just wanted to wish you well!
Sorry to hear things are still rough, Greg. Do you think you should try increasing your Olanzapine slightly to see if it's that? Or are you still reducing?
I get what you mean, I'm 40 and have similar concerns. I've been through low stages where I would look around at others and think how lucky they were and it just made me feel worse. These days I've gone past caring about that and I don't look at people and have those thoughts much anymore and even when I do it's more "you lucky sod" and I move on pretty quickly. Otherwise it is depressing and it sucks you further down.
I think you have got things in your life though, people, like your daughter. You've got many good years to come with her as she grows up. Who knows, you might be walking her down the isle at some point? Maybe even grandkids of your own?
Now you have a bit more energy, is exercise perhaps something that you can be doing more of? Even if it's longer walking in the nice weather or even cycling if there is any way to get a bike (I know that can be hard with limited funds, just a suggestion)? Exercise can help with the hormones, be distracting and wear us out if the adrenaline is high.
I doubt those viewing numbers mean a great deal mate, look how there is very few people logged on pretty much any time of the day. I reckon most of those numbers are watchers and web spiders. My Mindfulness thread has had over 8,000 views...we never seem to have more than 100 or so people around here. One of my games threads has had over 18,000 views...probably because it gets bumped by loads of new comments each week.
I know what you mean though, some of the old discussions seem to have ended and some have perhaps moved on? There's a few people I don't see around much these days, if at all. And with you posting on not many threads outside your own, newer people probably don't get to know you. Besides, you know this place is all about the HA, GAD isn't as busy.
Hi terry..good to hear from you mate.you always talk so much good sence...as for my meds mate,im just not sure what to do.iv spent the last 6 months coming down from 5mg slowley to 1.25mg...but for the last couple of months i feel more anxious and have had a sore mouth and toung constantly..every day all day and night.iv seen three different doctors and all said there is nothing to see and put me on thrush cream for my mouth,it had no efect..iv had blood tests for vit defisiantsy..all norm..so im at my witts end mate.it feels like all inside of my mouth top and bottom and toung are burnt and it just wont go away.iv changed my diet ,toothpast mouth wash etc but it just wont go away..my doc in the end says it must be my anxiety that has bought this on...is this poss..if it is it makes me feel worse knowing that i must be more anxious if this has now developed....my days are lonely and boring.i try to engage with people but just feel realy anxious when i do and when this happens my whole face starts to hurt,like iv been electricuted in my face its painfull and my head gets realy heavy and under extreem preasure,so i have to move on..i feel more tired than ever nowdays,even after cutting right back on olanzipine..i just am so disapointed i thought i would feel better after such a long slow reduction..also most of the time when i have a smoke,it makes me instantly feel very anxious and i cant be around anyone when this happens....i think the nicotine is starting to spike my anxiety more nowdays than it ever did..so i cant win..if i drink at the weekend,i suffer bad anxiety the next day..so the things i like to do are now being taken away from me...its all getting me down and just dont know where to turn.esp this burning crap in my mouth all day long.i also hardly ever see my daughter and havnt seen her for 4 months..its complecated mate but its all gone tits up and im having problems with my dsughters mother.i miss her so much and this is all adding to my mountin of problems..even when the sun is out i feel misserable..im so ****ed off with life and dont know what to do about my meds mate..even when i was on 2.5 mg i didnt feel much better.so just dont know if i should go back up or stick with coming off them..iv lost track now if they ever helped or if i just had a few fluke days hear and there feeling good
---------- Post added at 19:53 ---------- Previous post was at 19:49 ----------
Hi Greg,
I haven't met you but just popping in to say hi and you are not alone.
It can be discouraging when you start a thread and nobody or hardly anybody responds but, like Terry said, it may not be actual members who have viewed things.
Whether I write anything depends on how I am on the day, I expect that's the same for others too. Sometimes I just don't have the energy or feel I have anything worthwhile to add.
However, I can relate to your story somewhat. I'm 45, never married, no kids, live alone with my two dogs and a cat and it can get lonely. I've recently had to leave work because of my anxiety and now the days are very long being anxious and exhausted but unable to relax etc.
I just have to keep saying nothing is permanent and thins CAN get better. Even finding simple pleasures to look forward to. I get a lot from my dogs. You have a daughter and can look forward to watching her grow up.
There is always hope.
There HAS to be!
Hugs
Thanks shaz.it must be nice having pets as company.i have thought about that before,but im do bloody fussy in my home with hairs etc that i can never have pets..as iv said to terry,i dont see my daughter hardly anymore and havnt for several months..complecated out of my control..this has made my life a missery
---------- Post added at 19:54 ---------- Previous post was at 19:53 ----------
Thankyou elen/pulsa for your replies..it all helps
MyNameIsTerry
09-05-16, 23:20
The situation with your daughter will change mate. I fully believe this. So, hang in there and just do what you can in that front and expect it will sort itself out when any obstacles are no longer an issue.
Hi , anxiety can make the world seem a lonely place , I live with my partner who's ill a lot and my daughter but it feels like "I'm alone with everyone "to quote a phrase , been havering a rough time time to for last few months so an anxiety has gone through roof , passed a freind while driving tonight I was having a full on panic attack over my asthma and he was sat outside a pub having a pint made me feel like crap even waved as I went past , seems like everyone else is happy except us but a lot are not when you get down to it , I'm not a fan of the sun Saturday it was sunny then peed it down I felt like dancing in it , most of the views are from non members some of who don't even have the courage to join I've been there , take care hopfully things will improve soon they do sometimes for no reason
MyNameIsTerry
10-05-16, 05:22
Greg,
I think there are some things to think about here and you may not be coming at it from the right angle.
- you wanted off Olanzapine because you thought it was having an adverse effect. This could mean that it only masked the reasons you went onto it and they will start to come back, at least in some way, unless you have recovered before you start withdrawing.
If I'm being honest with you mate I think you have done loads of positive things last year and moved forward but fully recovered seems to mean much more work yet.
- the Olanzapine has a load of nasty side effects long term, some you have seen in how it has affected your weight. So, coming off could mean improvements to your physical health and could still be worth it.
Maybe it's just not the med for you?
- did you expect that your previous anxiety/depression would have gone? I would see this as unrealistic and I'm sure you will agree because you were actively changing how your thought and this came much later than when they slapped you on 5mg of that stuff.
- it was knocking you out and making you sleep unreasonable hours. This was likely impacting on you weight too with metabolic changes, a known side effect.
So, maybe the question is not whether you can come off and be fine but that you come off and continue to work on recovery with the hindrance of a drug that was doing more harm than good?
Hi , anxiety can make the world seem a lonely place , I live with my partner who's ill a lot and my daughter but it feels like "I'm alone with everyone "to quote a phrase , been havering a rough time time to for last few months so an anxiety has gone through roof , passed a freind while driving tonight I was having a full on panic attack over my asthma and he was sat outside a pub having a pint made me feel like crap even waved as I went past , seems like everyone else is happy except us but a lot are not when you get down to it , I'm not a fan of the sun Saturday it was sunny then peed it down I felt like dancing in it , most of the views are from non members some of who don't even have the courage to join I've been there , take care hopfully things will improve soon they do sometimes for no reason
Hi buster..sorry to hear you are going through the bad times..i can relate to what you are saying..i feel low when i walk past a pub and see people drinking and looking happy and i cant join in...iv never had asma so would never know how that feels..ok i understand now about the views on hear and can see what you are saying,so i wint worry about it anymore.thanks for your suport.i hope you feel well soon..as for the sunshine,i norm love it and find i always feel much worse through the winter months..the sun used to always lift my mood.just feeling that heat on my body and seeing people out and about in the sun..i still love the sun but at the moment its not helping to lift my mood...today its pissing down outside and this is making me feel depressed especialy as i have to go out today and know im going to get drenched and have to walk around like that..
---------- Post added at 07:12 ---------- Previous post was at 06:59 ----------
Greg,
I think there are some things to think about here and you may not be coming at it from the right angle.
- you wanted off Olanzapine because you thought it was having an adverse effect. This could mean that it only masked the reasons you went onto it and they will start to come back, at least in some way, unless you have recovered before you start withdrawing.
If I'm being honest with you mate I think you have done loads of positive things last year and moved forward but fully recovered seems to mean much more work yet.
- the Olanzapine has a load of nasty side effects long term, some you have seen in how it has affected your weight. So, coming off could mean improvements to your physical health and could still be worth it.
Maybe it's just not the med for you?
- did you expect that your previous anxiety/depression would have gone? I would see this as unrealistic and I'm sure you will agree because you were actively changing how your thought and this came much later than when they slapped you on 5mg of that stuff.
- it was knocking you out and making you sleep unreasonable hours. This was likely impacting on you weight too with metabolic changes, a known side effect.
So, maybe the question is not whether you can come off and be fine but that you come off and continue to work on recovery with the hindrance of a drug that was doing more harm than good?
Hi terry..i understand what you are saying mate..maybe im just not ready to come off olanzipine as yet..maybe it was helping me without me knowing as i do feel iv had more bad times last couple of months after reducing further...i can remember tho,3 years ago when i solit with my wife before i went on olanzipine,i felt better even tho i was going through a lot of shit..when they put me on this stuff a couole of months after i was sleeping 11 hrs a night and felt worse for it and felt tired through the day,which made my depression worse..i guess i just got used to feeling that way in the end..but my memory is so bad i cant remember if it was helping,and i was living with my sister at the time so had company to distract me..after living with my sister i sofa surfed for over a year with different people so again had company to distract me..then a year and a half ago i got my own flat.thats when i felt myself dropping.so feel the lonelyness has impacted on my life making me feel olanzipine is not helping me anymore which made me want to come off it to see what i was like under the suport of this drug..each drop i seem to expereance good days hear and there,as you prob remember,this made me feel i was recovering coming off or down.but that was short lived and i would start to feel worse as the weeks went on..so got confused as to why i had good days after dropping,only to start feeling worse soon...so i just dont know what to do for the best terry...i started 2.5mg again last night and actualy slept worse,waking at 6am today.norm this stuff makes me sleep heavy not light . Iv still got this overwelming burning feeling in my mouth and it starts first thing in the morning which is driving me crazy not knowing what it is.its making my anxiety worse and depresion high...
MyNameIsTerry
10-05-16, 10:31
I don't know mate, I guess it's all trial & error with these meds. If you find some benefit from lifting the dose slightly, then maybe you can sit on that for a time? If you don't feel any benefit you could try and adjust up again and see what happens. If none of that is helping, is it worth bothering and maybe just come down again and this is just a new phase to find ways to work through?
It just doesn't sound like going on that stuff was right for you. It was suppressing your feelings and that's not good either.
Sometimes life's circumstances make it very difficult to see a way through. I think you should keep in touch with your daughter, Greg, no matter what obstacles are put in your way. She's way better for you than any meds a doctor can prescribe and she needs her Dad. As you need her to give your life direction.
I don't know mate, I guess it's all trial & error with these meds. If you find some benefit from lifting the dose slightly, then maybe you can sit on that for a time? If you don't feel any benefit you could try and adjust up again and see what happens. If none of that is helping, is it worth bothering and maybe just come down again and this is just a new phase to find ways to work through?
It just doesn't sound like going on that stuff was right for you. It was suppressing your feelings and that's not good either.
Good idea terry.iv uped it back two 2.5mg as from last night and ill see where i go with that again..i have a diary to look back on and 2.5mg didnt seem to bring many rewards tho.so not sure it will make any difference.but got nothing to loose.before going on this stuff 3 years ago i was happier and more relaxed,but since being on it iv had a lot more stress and that stress remains in my life plus living on my own.so maybe the med is helping me at this point but only stableizing me at this level,and without it i cant cope.so ill play around with it..im going to start taking vitimins this week d3 .i dont eat any veg or fruit and hardly get any sun so maybe these will help with my energy and mood
---------- Post added at 17:36 ---------- Previous post was at 17:34 ----------
Sometimes life's circumstances make it very difficult to see a way through. I think you should keep in touch with your daughter, Greg, no matter what obstacles are put in your way. She's way better for you than any meds a doctor can prescribe and she needs her Dad. As you need her to give your life direction.
Hi pulsa..im in contact with my girl,but only by phone and text.i miss her so much and dont see her nowadays..its long whinded and a long story but she dsnt stay with me as she was last year which i found good theropy for me and something to look forward to every two weeks...a long road ahead
Hi , I really sympathise with not seeing your daughter I have two girls and a granddaughter there have been times when they were the only thing kept me going , when I fill in forms for mental health what keeps you from taking your life family is always the answer , two years ago I nearly lost my younger one to an overdose , got her to hospital we were told she was ok and could go home nipped to the toilet and got back she had gone to resus told us we had to prepare for her not making it , 5 days on high dependence waiting for maybe a liver transplant gave us a lot of thinking time , they sorted her out with speçialists from Birmingham , and we are a lot closer now and she's in a much better place working new boyfriend , things can change in the blink of an eye so what ever it takes to see her that's you have to do , young ones are much more understanding of mental health problems than we were , being a bad influence on my granddaughter a tonic singing along to the who on the way to school raiding my biscuit stash in my van , she grasses me up as soon as she gets home but I see that as a good thing at least she tells her mum everything , if I wasn't feeling so crap today would have been a great day pissing down all day , bald head and ginger skin don't make for a sun worshiper I get burnt looking at a holiday brochure , take care chap.
Hi , I really sympathise with not seeing your daughter I have two girls and a granddaughter there have been times when they were the only thing kept me going , when I fill in forms for mental health what keeps you from taking your life family is always the answer , two years ago I nearly lost my younger one to an overdose , got her to hospital we were told she was ok and could go home nipped to the toilet and got back she had gone to resus told us we had to prepare for her not making it , 5 days on high dependence waiting for maybe a liver transplant gave us a lot of thinking time , they sorted her out with speçialists from Birmingham , and we are a lot closer now and she's in a much better place working new boyfriend , things can change in the blink of an eye so what ever it takes to see her that's you have to do , young ones are much more understanding of mental health problems than we were , being a bad influence on my granddaughter a tonic singing along to the who on the way to school raiding my biscuit stash in my van , she grasses me up as soon as she gets home but I see that as a good thing at least she tells her mum everything , if I wasn't feeling so crap today would have been a great day pissing down all day , bald head and ginger skin don't make for a sun worshiper I get burnt looking at a holiday brochure , take care chap.
Hey buster..what a sad story that was.god that must have been so hard for all your family.im so glad it all worked out well...i know what you say about the kids etc.they are fun and little devels.my girl used to grass me up gor everything when i was living at home,but it used to make me laugh inside cos of her cheek to try and get me in shit...i also agree with keep going for the sake of our kids,iv had many months of feeling so shit i would love to have never woken up ever again and feelings to harm myself,but the thought of my girl loosing me and how it would efect her,kept me going and still does..i havnt lost contact with my girl because of not wanting to see her,its all at the other end that is causing the isue and my girl has got used to not seeing me now for the last 4 months...im trying to sort it all out but its complecated mate and not straght forward..i miss her so much,esp as last year after being in my own flat for 6 months,she was staying over every weekend and school holidays...we both loved each other company.shes a chip off the old block and we think alike..her mum got very jelious of my relationship and couldnt deal with the fact my girl never wanted to go back home with mum..and always cried when she left and her mum hated that my girl wanted to stay and live with me...then things all cha changed and because of my x actions,it all stoped and im fighting to try and change it...i havnt had her stay hear now since last september..8 months.and last time i saw her was 4 months..this on top of my lonely jobless life has crippled me and set me back a long way back into hard mental health.and thats why im not doing so well
Make it your priority to get your girl back in your life. You're her father and have a right to see her especially as you are so close. Is there any chance of getting mediation in order to get her back to staying with you?
MyNameIsTerry
10-05-16, 22:44
There's a big difference between being forced to getting used to this new contact and what she really wants mate. Beware making assumptions because last time you were worried she didn't want to see you and look how great that turned out.
She will soon be older and able to make her own decisions. It will change then.
Make it your priority to get your girl back in your life. You're her father and have a right to see her especially as you are so close. Is there any chance of getting mediation in order to get her back to staying with you?
.hi pulsa...well we did goto mediation last september and ever since then things have gone tits up for me and my girl.cant see things changing in a hurry
---------- Post added at 07:58 ---------- Previous post was at 07:47 ----------
There's a big difference between being forced to getting used to this new contact and what she really wants mate. Beware making assumptions because last time you were worried she didn't want to see you and look how great that turned out.
She will soon be older and able to make her own decisions. It will change then.
Hey terry..i am fighting it..trust me im not sitting on my arse and just letting it go by...im doing everything i can to try and sort things out.. question terry....for the last 5 days iv been painting my flat all day 9 till 5 hrs to get myself busy,i had a lot of paint left over from when i first moved in and decided to freashen things up..well since 5 days of painting and being realy tired at the end of the day going to bed at 11pm im waking up early each day,6am despite being so tired the night before and upping my olanzipine...plus last night i was so tired to a point that i took a sleeping pill at 9pm and went to bed at 9.55pm.and i woke at 5am today and was unable to fall back to sleep..i now feel realy tired already.norm if i have a 20mg tamazipan id sleep 10 hrs straght..dont understand why im bloody waking so early despite being so tired...plus this sore stinging in my mouth and toung is getting worse all the time everyday from the moment i open my eyes,its there all dsy and night.it feels like iv had a operation in my mouth and the after pain has kicked in and im getting a lot of face pain all over more than i ever used to get...im baffled and angry as its setting off my anxiety more than ever and making me more deoressed..getting realy ****ed off with this face and mouth toung pain.just dont know what it is,nor do the doctors.
Crystalhiggs
11-05-16, 10:29
Hi Greg!
I haven't been on here for a while now but something made me check in today. I'm so sorry you're having a cr*p time again, you were doing really well before! You should be so proud of yourself with the meds, you've been patient with it and eventually will be off completely which is fabulous! I say that because if you remember you were very unhappy on them and worried about diabetes etc - now you've lost weight and have a lot less rubbish in your system!
I felt very weird last year as you may remember and had bad social anxiety for a while. I've been having CBT for a year almost and feel like a different person. But it takes time and there are lots of ups and downs along the way.
I hope you come through this and can look back and say, well that was sh*t but look at me now, stronger than ever! You have to believe that will happen, our thoughts shape our reality.
One book that changed my outlook was feel the fear and do it anyway. I know it's quite old, but it just pushed me forwards to do the things I was afraid of, now I'm better than I have been for years!
Believe in yourself Greg, you sound like a lovely person with so much to offer, don't hide yourself away, you're as important as the next person! Push yourself to interact with as many people as you can, you'll be fine, and in time it will get easier. Nothing worse than loneliness and it doesn't have to be like this. Saying that in a positive way, not at all critical!
Take Care, Cx
---------- Post added at 10:29 ---------- Previous post was at 09:43 ----------
Greg re the mouth thing have you tried corsodyl (so?) I had a similar thing after my op a couple of years ago and that really helped, think was better within 3 days! After doc had given me the oral thrush stuff which didn't help either! And lots of water!
Shazamataz
11-05-16, 10:37
.hi pulsa...well we did goto mediation last september and ever since then things have gone tits up for me and my girl.cant see things changing in a hurry
---------- Post added at 07:58 ---------- Previous post was at 07:47 ----------
Hey terry..i am fighting it..trust me im not sitting on my arse and just letting it go by...im doing everything i can to try and sort things out.. question terry....for the last 5 days iv been painting my flat all day 9 till 5 hrs to get myself busy,i had a lot of paint left over from when i first moved in and decided to freashen things up..well since 5 days of painting and being realy tired at the end of the day going to bed at 11pm im waking up early each day,6am despite being so tired the night before and upping my olanzipine...plus last night i was so tired to a point that i took a sleeping pill at 9pm and went to bed at 9.55pm.and i woke at 5am today and was unable to fall back to sleep..i now feel realy tired already.norm if i have a 20mg tamazipan id sleep 10 hrs straght..dont understand why im bloody waking so early despite being so tired...plus this sore stinging in my mouth and toung is getting worse all the time everyday from the moment i open my eyes,its there all dsy and night.it feels like iv had a operation in my mouth and the after pain has kicked in and im getting a lot of face pain all over more than i ever used to get...im baffled and angry as its setting off my anxiety more than ever and making me more deoressed..getting realy ****ed off with this face and mouth toung pain.just dont know what it is,nor do the doctors.
Hi Greg, just popping in to comment on the sleep thing. By all accounts early waking happens when a person is depressed. I've been having issues with this for ages, even with sleeping pills, ending up wide awake in a panic at 3-4 am. As a potential hint, and not encouraging you to take sleeping pills regularly, what helps me is to go to bed normally and then take the sleeping pill when I wake up in the small hours so I can get back to sleep. It helped for a while, maybe worth a try as long as not too late in the night or you aren't driving in the morning?
Hi Greg, can't offer any advice mate as social anxiety is probably the least of all my anxiety issues. Just wanted to wish you well!
Cheers matt..and to you mate
---------- Post added at 17:20 ---------- Previous post was at 17:11 ----------
Hi Greg!
I haven't been on here for a while now but something made me check in today. I'm so sorry you're having a cr*p time again, you were doing really well before! You should be so proud of yourself with the meds, you've been patient with it and eventually will be off completely which is fabulous! I say that because if you remember you were very unhappy on them and worried about diabetes etc - now you've lost weight and have a lot less rubbish in your system!
I felt very weird last year as you may remember and had bad social anxiety for a while. I've been having CBT for a year almost and feel like a different person. But it takes time and there are lots of ups and downs along the way.
I hope you come through this and can look back and say, well that was sh*t but look at me now, stronger than ever! You have to believe that will happen, our thoughts shape our reality.
One book that changed my outlook was feel the fear and do it anyway. I know it's quite old, but it just pushed me forwards to do the things I was afraid of, now I'm better than I have been for years!
Believe in yourself Greg, you sound like a lovely person with so much to offer, don't hide yourself away, you're as important as the next person! Push yourself to interact with as many people as you can, you'll be fine, and in time it will get easier. Nothing worse than loneliness and it doesn't have to be like this. Saying that in a positive way, not at all critical!
Take Care, Cx
---------- Post added at 10:29 ---------- Previous post was at 09:43 ----------
Greg re the mouth thing have you tried corsodyl (so?) I had a similar thing after my op a couple of years ago and that really helped, think was better within 3 days! After doc had given me the oral thrush stuff which didn't help either! And lots of water!
Hi crystal..nice to hear from you and well done for responding to CBT because i know that dsnt work for everyone.im so pleased to hear you are doing well and hope your sleep is sorting itself out.i know you suffered bad last year with that.sounds like you more positive..i will try that mouth wash you said.i have it on my list to do sat..iv tried everything eles like the oral mouth cream etc for fungie infection and thrush but none have had any succsess.i just cant think what it could be.iv had it for 4 moths solid now and dsnt make any sence.but horable to have my whole mouth and toung burning all day.im going back to the doctors next week to demand they look further into it becsuse there has to be a cause..i do push myself as much as i can and interact with others as much as i can,but find it so hard most days and i do suffer bad lonelness every day....im going to take terrys advice and up my olanzipine to 2.5 from 1.25mg just in cas i need that dose.maybe the reduction has had some kind of reaction to my mouth i dont onow.may as well give it a go..feel so tired every day instead of more energy which olanzipine used to do to me so coming right down from it i thought my energy levels would go up..iv got some realy good vit d3 which i will start taking tom see what that brings..again,im so glad to hear you are doing well.x
---------- Post added at 17:22 ---------- Previous post was at 17:20 ----------
There's a big difference between being forced to getting used to this new contact and what she really wants mate. Beware making assumptions because last time you were worried she didn't want to see you and look how great that turned out.
She will soon be older and able to make her own decisions. It will change then.
Cherrs terry..i know i remember that last time..it would realy help me seeing my girl again..she has started to self harm and she is not in a good place in life since we have been seperated..i will stay in contact with her and am trying to sort this mess out that is beond mine and my daughters power.
---------- Post added at 17:24 ---------- Previous post was at 17:22 ----------
Make it your priority to get your girl back in your life. You're her father and have a right to see her especially as you are so close. Is there any chance of getting mediation in order to get her back to staying with you?
Thats what im trying to do pulsa..its not my or my girls choiece that ghis has hapend its partly my x that started this off and now its got out of control.im trying to sort things but its not going to hapen over night
---------- Post added at 17:33 ---------- Previous post was at 17:24 ----------
Hi Greg, just popping in to comment on the sleep thing. By all accounts early waking happens when a person is depressed. I've been having issues with this for ages, even with sleeping pills, ending up wide awake in a panic at 3-4 am. As a potential hint, and not encouraging you to take sleeping pills regularly, what helps me is to go to bed normally and then take the sleeping pill when I wake up in the small hours so I can get back to sleep. It helped for a while, maybe worth a try as long as not too late in the night or you aren't driving in the morning?
Hi shaz..thanks for your advice...yes im aware depresion causes bad sleep and hope thats not what is going on for me..iv droped from 5mg to 1.25mg of olanzipine that was given to me 3 years ago because i suffered bad insomnia.they worked like a dream but,id sleep 10 hrs straght and get up still feeling tired all day long..so droping down to 1.25mg over 5 months may be playing apart in my poor sleep,plus its only started hapning for 6 days since iv been busy decorating my flat 9-5..so maybe iv got alot on my mind about all the decorating as i do obsess over things..ill be fin fri so hope my sleep patern returns..thanks for your advice
jadedreams
11-05-16, 17:52
Hey Greg, I don't have much advice for you but just wanted to say there are many of us in a similar boat and that you are not alone. My anxiety is currently down but my depression is up and I'm have a hard time dealing with it. I too live alone so I know it is rough, but wanted you to know I was thinking of you.
Hey Greg, I don't have much advice for you but just wanted to say there are many of us in a similar boat and that you are not alone. My anxiety is currently down but my depression is up and I'm have a hard time dealing with it. I too live alone so I know it is rough, but wanted you to know I was thinking of you.
Hi jade.sorry to hear that.dsnt sound nice does it..i wish my anxiety wqs down because i hqte all the physicle symptoms.but on the other hand,depresion being low is hard..hope you balance out soon..its hard when they both go up and down at any point..hope we both find a good path in life soon..thanks for your thoughts...
Hey Greg, just saw this... haven't been on the past few days. I am really sorry you aren't seeing your daughter, I know how much you'd look forward to that in the past. I hope somehow that can change in the future. I'm sure it's affected your mood.
Hope you find some peace and joy soon. I like to pay attention to little things ... sounds silly, but even just noticing if it's a nice blue sky out, if the birds are chirping, flowers blooming, etc can help a tiny bit. Finding things to be grateful for ... doesn't mean the bad stuff doesn't hurt anymore, but can help balance things out emotionally.
Hey Greg, just saw this... haven't been on the past few days. I am really sorry you aren't seeing your daughter, I know how much you'd look forward to that in the past. I hope somehow that can change in the future. I'm sure it's affected your mood.
Hope you find some peace and joy soon. I like to pay attention to little things ... sounds silly, but even just noticing if it's a nice blue sky out, if the birds are chirping, flowers blooming, etc can help a tiny bit. Finding things to be grateful for ... doesn't mean the bad stuff doesn't hurt anymore, but can help balance things out emotionally.
Thanks swgrl..you are right.last year when sara was coming to me each weekend and summer holidays for a week at a time.my life was getting better and my mental health was improving all the time.i had something to look forward to and someone to love and be loved back..she was a loving close little girl in my life and we had such a great close bond.cuddled up on my sofa with popcorn watching a movie together out bowling cinema.i made sure we did everything together when she was hear.baking cakes on sun morning and she used to make me a fryup sat..i loved her company and have so much love for her.she was my buddy my mate my love of my life.i loved seeing her little smile when i did the simplest things that made her laugh...we were good together.im locked in a big battle to get her back in my life but is not going well and cant see things changing anytime soon..i hope you are keeping well.x
MyNameIsTerry
14-05-16, 07:04
She will have her own say soon mate. She clearly loves you very much and wants to be in your life. Laws stop being useful to exs once they reach the age they can make their own choices. I just hope she is allowed to and is not made to feel bad by your ex for wanting contact.
It's terrible to hear she is self harming. You must be so worried about her. It's awful when a child suffers due to one person's selfishness (not you mate). I couldn't look myself in the mirror knowing I had contributing to that (again, not you mate).
She will have her own say soon mate. She clearly loves you very much and wants to be in your life. Laws stop being useful to exs once they reach the age they can make their own choices. I just hope she is allowed to and is not made to feel bad by your ex for wanting contact.
It's terrible to hear she is self harming. You must be so worried about her. It's awful when a child suffers due to one person's selfishness (not you mate). I couldn't look myself in the mirror knowing I had contributing to that (again, not you mate).
Hi terry..yes she clearly loves me but is under preasure and other stuff at her end to not see me..i woke up at 6am today to a message from her.she is in hospital because her mental health got out of control and wanted to die...i went into panic mode and tryed to get more info out of her but she held back a bit..i asked her what hospital she was at and she didnt tell me,she went on to say she is fine now and is with her mum waiting for social service and the chrises team..i was pissed off to learn she went on hospital yesterday and her mum didnt even tell me,she left it down to my girl to inform me if she wanted to tell me..i feel out of the loop and powerless.i text her mum expresing my anger that she didnt tell me about this yesterday...and she just said it was down to my girl if she wants me to know..i told my x it was her duty as a parent and grown up to inform me of anything like this,she just dsnt understand how it is for me not being kept upto date with things...its ridiculas mate.
MyNameIsTerry
14-05-16, 08:23
More like she doesn't care mate. I get the impression that she is the kind to use a child as a weapon. Her actions are, in my opinion, causing at least some of this and I hope your daughter is able to state it if she is on her own with these people.
Hopefully there will come a point when she is a few years older where she has her own legal say and finds the strength to stand up for what she wants. Really, your ex will just end up causing her to resent her.
I hope she is feeling a bit better soon and is in a safe place. You have every right to be worried and of course she should have informed you. That's just pathetic behaviour in my opinion. Selfish. She should be telling you for your daughter's sake for a start but I get the impression she can't see beyond her own needs.
More like she doesn't care mate. I get the impression that she is the kind to use a child as a weapon. Her actions are, in my opinion, causing at least some of this and I hope your daughter is able to state it if she is on her own with these people.
Hopefully there will come a point when she is a few years older where she has her own legal say and finds the strength to stand up for what she wants. Really, your ex will just end up causing her to resent her.
I hope she is feeling a bit better soon and is in a safe place. You have every right to be worried and of course she should have informed you. That's just pathetic behaviour in my opinion. Selfish. She should be telling you for your daughter's sake for a start but I get the impression she can't see beyond her own needs.
Spot on terry.my thoughts to..not bloody telling me yesterday that my girl has been taken into hospital..even when my girl took a overdose of pills a while back,my x didnt tell me till a few weeks latter in a meeting that we had with the mental health team for my daughter i told her why the hell didnt you tell me about this when it happend,she said she had it under control.i said control or not,i should have been told when it happend not weeks latter when you casualy bring it up in this meeting.realy pisses me off mate not being informed of these things
MyNameIsTerry
14-05-16, 08:53
It would anyone. If your daughter has begged her not to tell you, it would still be very iffy but at least you could understand something like that and talk to her to reassure her why you would want to know. But your ex taking that decision, control or not, is just about control over her daughter and pushing you out.
Some enjoy it. She will just cause a rift between her & her daughter eventually. She's trying to fight something she can't win, your daughter wants you in her life. And I'm sure that even when something like this happens, having her dad there would be a great comfort to her.
It's very worrying for you. I would be very concerned just how much this situation is making her mental health worse. Sadly, you can be on the outside fighting against prejudice when you are a bloke in these situations.
It would anyone. If your daughter has begged her not to tell you, it would still be very iffy but at least you could understand something like that and talk to her to reassure her why you would want to know. But your ex taking that decision, control or not, is just about control over her daughter and pushing you out.
Some enjoy it. She will just cause a rift between her & her daughter eventually. She's trying to fight something she can't win, your daughter wants you in her life. And I'm sure that even when something like this happens, having her dad there would be a great comfort to her.
It's very worrying for you. I would be very concerned just how much this situation is making her mental health worse. Sadly, you can be on the outside fighting against prejudice when you are a bloke in these situations.
Yea thats right mate..i dont think my girl told her mum not to tell me,thats not the impresion i got..i think my x just decided not to inform me last night and today she just said she left it down to my daughter to inform me.so no conversation actualy happend between them from my girl to her mum not to tell me.it was just my x being selfish and controling and keeping me out of the loop
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