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I,ve posted on here recently and had no replies proberly 1-2. aint we all here to help one another. we are all in this together no ones better than anyone.. just because someones having a good day. please spare a thought for those who aint and think I,ve been there before. don,t just ignore a post.
Hi
Sorry you havent had any replies.
Unfortunately like many forums we have many many people looking for re-assurance and only a handful of people offering it.
Do have a look on the symptoms section of the main site page and/or do a search through the forum and you will see that the symptoms you are worrying about are very common.
The best way of getting responses can be to engage in conversation with someone experiencing the same thing as you, thereby building up a rapport.
Sorry you haven't received any replies, fruity.
I read your post on the eye speckles today, but I could not reply as I have no experience of it, so no reassurance I could offer. I think when it comes to very specific health type stuff, the members who will reply are the ones who have experienced similar, and can offer something. I reply to posts that I know I can offer advice about, or reassure members with anxiety and panic, being an anxiety and panic sufferer myself.
I agree with Elen on this. Sadly, there does seem to be far more takers on the forum than there are givers, and it be nice if there could be more balance here. The nature of anxiety - be it HA or otherwise - can make people quite single minded and selfish.
It is important to realise that we ARE ALL sufferers here, and a forum only works if there is give and take.
I also agree with Elen about using the search box at the top of the page. It is really good for finding previous posts about a similar worry that you have, and gaining replies from there. I often use it myself when I have a worry or anxiety creeping up. x:hugs:
countrygirl
09-05-16, 17:09
I too have noticed that there are less and less people responding to posts, seems as if there are only so many of us responders around compared to many years ago when I first joined.
Debs is right that if someone has no experience of a symptom then they are less likely to reply and sometimes there are just so many new posts that us who try and respond can't cover them all:)
ServerError
09-05-16, 17:57
I'm aware I'm generalising, but I do wonder if the people more inclined to offer advice and help are either closer to recovery or coping quite well with their anxiety, meaning they are less likely to want to be on an anxiety forum.
I know when I first joined I was on here a lot with various worries and seeking reassurance, whereas I now tend to try to help others where I can. However, while this improvement has allowed me to be less focused on myself, it also means I'm less likely to want to visit the forums. While I'm feeling good, there are other things I'd rather be doing.
Perhaps that explains the imbalance between sufferers and helpers?
As Admin has pointed out many times, the "read" count on a thread is not accurate due to bots, spiders etc. All the explanations are valid. One must also consider post/membership history, acknowledgement or lack thereof of replies as well many other factors. It's also, as stated, a rather normal ebb and flow of the forum as members heal and leave and others come in.
I've always said that the forum is great in knowing you're not alone and cathartic in that you can write out your fears and thoughts and be understood BUT, it's not a replacement nor supplement to real life assistance. In fact, everyone I've stayed in touch with after they left the forum were told directly by their therapists to avoid it from a reassurance and trigger perspective. In a way, it's like a crossroads to the healing path.
Positive thoughts
I'm aware I'm generalising, but I do wonder if the people more inclined to offer advice and help are either closer to recovery or coping quite well with their anxiety, meaning they are less likely to want to be on an anxiety forum.
I know when I first joined I was on here a lot with various worries and seeking reassurance, whereas I now tend to try to help others where I can. However, while this improvement has allowed me to be less focused on myself, it also means I'm less likely to want to visit the forums. While I'm feeling good, there are other things I'd rather be doing.
Perhaps that explains the imbalance between sufferers and helpers?
I can totally relate to what you say, ServerError.
This is me to a tee. I always come back to the forum when I am struggling myself, but when my anxiety is more stable, and I feel good mentally, I tend to veer away a bit as I am conscious of trying to move away from the anxiety thing. Of course, inevitably I never stay that way (sadly) but what really helps me is actually trying to reply to others posts. I find that this helps my anxiety by diverting my mind from how I am feeling.
MyNameIsTerry
09-05-16, 22:58
Therapists know that avoiding anything means reinforcing fear. They don't mean stay away from forums because it is triggering when you have recovered, simply that it is not required because no one without anxiety would even consider being on here. They get people away from then short term where they impact on their anxiety e.g. reassurance seeking patterns, impact of talking in negative terms, etc.
Work was one of my biggest triggers. I can't stay from work for life. The same applies to a HA sufferer in that add you recover you could face a place like this because you are overcoming your fear. If you can't do that, that's still avoidance and counterproductive to therapy. Why do therapists get sometime afraid of cancer immersing themselves in cancer stories? But once past that fear they won't carry on reading about it because it simply isn't what people do.
MyNameIsTerry
10-05-16, 05:27
I'm aware I'm generalising, but I do wonder if the people more inclined to offer advice and help are either closer to recovery or coping quite well with their anxiety, meaning they are less likely to want to be on an anxiety forum.
I know when I first joined I was on here a lot with various worries and seeking reassurance, whereas I now tend to try to help others where I can. However, while this improvement has allowed me to be less focused on myself, it also means I'm less likely to want to visit the forums. While I'm feeling good, there are other things I'd rather be doing.
Perhaps that explains the imbalance between sufferers and helpers?
I can totally relate to what you say, ServerError.
This is me to a tee. I always come back to the forum when I am struggling myself, but when my anxiety is more stable, and I feel good mentally, I tend to veer away a bit as I am conscious of trying to move away from the anxiety thing. Of course, inevitably I never stay that way (sadly) but what really helps me is actually trying to reply to others posts. I find that this helps my anxiety by diverting my mind from how I am feeling.
I agree with a lot of this too. I think a lot of people are lost to the obsession and don't have the mental strength to spend time helping others when at their worst. Those that do, can be seen doing so.
Plus I've always thought that the large majority of HA sufferers don't use the rest of the website as very few can be seen posting anywhere but this board and the symptoms one. Those of us who roam more freely across the site are more likely to be seen replying.
And I agree in that there is only so much of people like this to go around. From their perspective you have to remember that it can be mentally draining keeping up with threads and helping out. If you are not careful, it can take over your life. I post less these days and stay off the forum more because I have felt that myself. I feel sometimes that people don't realise this and whilst it's nice people appreciate your opinions, it can be hard to get to everyone.
The nature of anxiety - be it HA or otherwise - can make people quite single minded and selfish.
A very true statement. There are many examples of this. One of the more common sentiments are those fearing getting sick and leaving their family, yet they spend nearly all their waking hours logged onto the internet and forums totally absorbed in their fears. For those individuals, their families have essentially already lost them.
For me personally, I've come to discern when one is ready to hear and listen and when one is just not in a place to do so. Perhaps for some, the lack of response is due to that. Members that previously would respond realize the futility of doing so. There are some that a nudge in the right direction puts them on the healing path and some that will forever be going around in the spiral of their illness. There are some that join and stay a short time and others that have been here for many years and probably will be for many more years. Again, for me, reading post history reveals patterns and truths concerning this and helps in a either responding or refraining from doing so.
The reality is this is an internet forum. It's a "virtual" world with screen names and words. There are people behind the words and it's up to them to take on board and "act" in order to move forward. There are also people that run the gamut from minimally affected to those that have been institutionalized and every type and severity of mental illness in between. All one can do is try to write some words that make an impact and hopefully help. Beyond that? :shrug: We can't reach through the screen and drag them to a mental health professional or shove pills down their throats.
Again, it comes down to acting on one's personal behalf. Recovery is hard work whether it's from a mental illness or a physical one. Often times, it can be a life long process. I believe most can reach their "new normal" and find peace.
Positive thoughts
Again, it comes down to acting on one's personal behalf. Recovery is hard work whether it's from a mental illness or a physical one. Often times, it can be a life long process. I believe most can reach their "new normal" and find peace.
Totally agree. I don't spend a lot of time on the forum anymore because I'm out seeking and experimenting with what my 'new normal' is...
Recovering (to any extent) does take some personal effort, including such a small effort as searching the forums for a topic before posting another variant of the situation - in most cases symptoms have been covered before, again and again. It's also possible that posts don't get replies because there is simply nothing new to add.
I'm a slow thinker and typer, this reply has already taken me the best part of quarter hour out of my day, so unfortunately frequent daily/hourly checking of this forum - no matter how much I may wish to help others experiencing anxiety... well, I think it would be at the detriment of all the steps I've personally taken towards my recovery.
So, I would advise any folk who feel like their posts are being ignored, to take a positive step for yourself and do a search.
I agree with you, mind knot. There's a lot of info on NMP and people can search for answers themselves. Getting a response from another member is a bonus really. Not getting any responses is not rejection-there may just not be anything more to add or people viewing may not have the personal experience necessary to help.
its very helpful to get responces. it does help me I feel a lot better after
its very helpful to get responces. it does help me I feel a lot better after
I'm glad the reassurance helps. That being said, you know it's only a quick fix and not the solution to remedy the fears and your reaction to them.
As I stated in my response...
"The reality is this is an internet forum. It's a "virtual" world with screen names and words. There are people behind the words and it's up to them to take on board and "act" in order to move forward. There are also people that run the gamut from minimally affected to those that have been institutionalized and every type and severity of mental illness in between. All one can do is try to write some words that make an impact and hopefully help. Beyond that? :shrug: We can't reach through the screen and drag them to a mental health professional or shove pills down their throats.
Again, it comes down to acting on one's personal behalf. Recovery is hard work whether it's from a mental illness or a physical one. Often times, it can be a life long process. I believe most can reach their "new normal" and find peace."
Hopefully you'll take that step and put yourself on that healing path.
Good luck and positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
10-05-16, 23:01
There are so many repeat stories on here that can be found on searches with lots of good advice but it's about two things to me 1) reassurance seeking which means someone talking to you and 2) a lot of the time people don't want to spend that time doing it.
I bet a lot of people do search on here though. I just now that all through my working years it's been a common frustration that it's quicker to ask than look. It's frustrating to the person being asked. Obviously, it's a bit different here but I think that is a behaviour so it will naturally appear here too in some.
There are so many repeat stories on here that can be found on searches with lots of good advice but it's about two things to me 1) reassurance seeking which means someone talking to you and 2) a lot of the time people don't want to spend that time doing it.
I bet a lot of people do search on here though. I just now that all through my working years it's been a common frustration that it's quicker to ask than look. It's frustrating to the person being asked. Obviously, it's a bit different here but I think that is a behaviour so it will naturally appear here too in some.
Oh I'm sure most people do search first, that wasn't meant to sound b***y, just trying to suggest a positive course of action in the event of no replies.
I know that at my worst points I wanted 'people' reassurance too, but a few times when I had a similar situation of no replies on a post, I was able to eventually dig up something that helped soothe me from the archives on NMP.
(Incidentally, using google - in the format "search term+no more panic" actually sometimes works better to uncover the older stuff, than the forum search function - everything's indexed really well....)
MyNameIsTerry
11-05-16, 12:28
Oh I'm sure most people do search first, that wasn't meant to sound b***y, just trying to suggest a positive course of action in the event of no replies.
I know that at my worst points I wanted 'people' reassurance too, but a few times when I had a similar situation of no replies on a post, I was able to eventually dig up something that helped soothe me from the archives on NMP.
(Incidentally, using google - in the format "search term+no more panic" actually sometimes works better to uncover the older stuff, than the forum search function - everything's indexed really well....)
I know, it wasn't b***y at all, I didn't mean to imply that so sorry if it came across that way. Searching is definitely worth it as there is a vast amount of knowledge across the years on here.
I know what you mean about Google. It's not just on here either because in my last work role I had to do a lot of research and it was easier to find documents on some of the regulatory sites by using Google rather than the websites own search facility. :shrug:I find Google pulls about NHS docs I struggle to find through the NHS websites, although the evidence bases the NHS/NICE have are very good.
it take bravery to post something. i've recently just joined and already have views but no replies which is making me feel bad.
All here to help and be helped :hugs:
I know, it wasn't b***y at all, I didn't mean to imply that so sorry if it came across that way. Searching is definitely worth it as there is a vast amount of knowledge across the years on here.
s'okay, we're cool :shades:
Lots of internet forums are full of annoying people moaning "do a search", when I came back to re-read my post today I thought maybe I'd accidentally become one :)
Many don't realize that at the very bottom of the page of the thread they post are several older threads (some going back several years) that are relevant to their post. All one need do is read them :)
Positive thoughts
I try to come on every once in a while and respond to posts, but unfortunately have not had the energy as often as I used to. I work in the mental health field, so 40 hours a week I am helping people through mental health conditions and I have to admit sometimes I get home and need a break from it. But when I do have time, I try to come back and respond to a few threads here and there because this site has helped me through a LOT of hard times.
MyNameIsTerry
12-05-16, 14:34
I try to come on every once in a while and respond to posts, but unfortunately have not had the energy as often as I used to. I work in the mental health field, so 40 hours a week I am helping people through mental health conditions and I have to admit sometimes I get home and need a break from it. But when I do have time, I try to come back and respond to a few threads here and there because this site has helped me through a LOT of hard times.
Then in reality you are putting in far more work than any of us. Support is always here whether you can help others or not, and I think those of us who know you work in that field accept this and how getting too involved in here could be counterproductive or even further draining for you so don't worry.
Thanks, Terry, you've always been supportive of me!!! :hugs:
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