Any advice?

[xmelissa91]

I normally don't talk to anyone about the way I feel and I've never been on one of these forums but I feel like I have no where else to turn.

Recently I have been lashing out on everyone. My boyfriend (who unfortunately gets most of it), my friends, and my mom. I immediately, or I should say after I feel less anxious, feel guilty for it. For example, this weekend I was looking for a dress for a wedding I have coming up. I had so many people coming up to me, whether it be the shop person to take my dress to the fitting room or my boyfriend to tell me how much he loved the dress I picked out and even those positive comments still made me anxious. I started sweating, my heart started beating fast, I felt closed in, I wanted to run away. I just kept telling him to go away or leave me alone but when I would need his help I would be mad that he wasn't there. The way I feel makes no sense.

I finally found a dress and just wanted out of the place but the lady at the register said I needed to fill out a few things for her and I totally flipped out on her. I am never rude to strangers. I don't know what happened.

Then we went out to lunch after dress shopping and he was upset that I picked an expensive place because I was paying and he didn't want me to spend money I honestly didn't have on a meal for us two. He kept saying he wasn't going to get anything and I started to feel the same way I did at the dress store. Hot, racing heart, angry, and trapped. I just started yelling at him. Saying "just freaking pick something and stop talking!!!"

There have been many many more instances, in fact it's a daily occurrence. It happens at home, at work, out in public but it's only ever taken out on people I know.

I've never been diagnosed, never been to a doctor. Up until recently it was something I handled on my own. I would get anxious and take myself out of the situation making me that way and work on it. But now my anxiety is turning into anger along with it and I'm taking it own the people I love most and it's hurting me.

Everyone tells me to go talk to someone but it is so hard for me talk about this stuff because all I do is cry and it's not very easy to talk and cry and then I get embarrassed. Also, I'm worried I'm just going to be given medication which I don't want. It's hard enough for me to remember to take my thyroid medicine, I don't really want to add another.

I'm just at my wits end. Is it normal for my anxiety to turn into anger. Is it getting worse? Is it even anxiety I'm dealing with?

[Oosh]

Well you're not going to really know until you run it by your doctor. Irritability could be a few things. He might test a few things, see if he can see anything.

You don't like all the attention.
Short fuse.

Try and work out what specifically you're finding annoying. Might help you work out where it's coming from.

Doctors no biggy. Tell him, listen, go away and think about what he says.

[Noivous]

Hi Melissa - I agree with Oosh. Go to your regular doctor. This could be hormonal or even related to your thyroid. I don't blame you for wanting to stay away from the meds. Are you under any kind of stress like school or something? Something like that can do it too. It could be your just going through something and it will pass. But it's obviously serious enough or you wouldn't be here. So go to your regular doctor and get checked out. And definitely ask questions here. You will get different answers but just talking about is helpful.
N.