Crisis of Confidence

[TheMadOladCoger]

Hello,

So as the title says I am currently experiencing a Crisis of Confidence, I feel rubbish and just need to get it out there and see what other peoples think and can say.

So here it is.

I have recently finished my second year at University, I do a course (Film and Video Production) that I see as my future career hence why I am studying.

Recently, my girlfriend of 3 years has finished University and kind of fallen into her new job. I am proud of her but it has made me thing of my future a lot and constantly.

So her is my issue, I feel as if I will fail in my chosen career path, I feel that I will finish University and I will need to work in a shop for the rest of my life (There isn't anything wrong with working in a shop, it's just not me. I went to University to better my future) I feel as if my girlfriend will always be the bread winner and that I will never really have anything to bring to the table. I feel useless, worried and I want to cry. I have tried to talk to people but they all say the same why worry about it now, I can't stop worrying I want to succeed, for both myself and for my girlfriend. I want her to look at me and see someone she can be proud of, not someone that has failed at his one real dream.

I just need someone to talk to really, I'm down and upset.

Peace

[Lucinda07]

Are you bothered that your 2nd year exam results may not be good? Do you feel that there may not be many opportunities for your line of work? Until you graduate, you wont find out! Your skills can be used in other professions media, advertising, music industry, teaching.
Your GF has a a job now, but may be made redundant. She may decide at a later date that her job isnt what she expected, there could be all sort of reasons why she might wish to quit - pressure, bad boss etc.
We cant fortell the future. You may be lucky & get work immediately or have to wait a while. Are you afraid she will leave you? Do your best to follow your dream - if it happens it happens. Better to have tried rather than not at all. If, later on, you have to change direction - then so be it. Maybe the opportunities to work in film are limited but-it doesnt mean you have "failed". Why wouldnt your GF be proud of you for the person you are. Have you spoken to her about all this?

[Noivous]

Hi - Everyone has confidence issues here or there. It could be the stress of school. But you really need to give it an honest shot. It's what you like to do. Don't worry about being the bread winner and all that now. Just persue you dream. Could you fail? Yep. Successful people fail many times. The key is to keep trying. Milton Hershey went bankrupt 4 times. Tthen he invented milk chocolate. The rest is sweet history.

N.

[TheMadOladCoger]

No I don't worry about my results, I know what I am capable of in University.

Film and TV is a big industry so there will always be opportunities, but I worry I won't be good enough to get anywhere in the industry.

I know that, I just feel as if I am useless now. Everyone else is starting jobs, they have money and can move in with the ones they love. Thats all I want to do be with my girlfriend and not worry about my career just focus on maker her happy.
I worry about her leaving me at points, she will be working does she really want to spend all her time with someone who doesn't even know if they will do anything after University and is still a student that can't really do much as they have no money.

I have spoken about it in passing, but not really sat down and spoken to her and told her everything. I know it would hurt her to think I am as bad as I have been over recent weeks. She already has the pressure of a new job I don't/can't add anymore stress to her, the idea of her worrying about me makes me feel selfish.

Peace

[Lucinda07]

You seem a very competent student - more than likely there will be as job after graduation. Like most of us you have doubts & fear failure. However, you put your GF first & not all men are like that. I'm sure your GF will appreciate someone who is genuine & devoted rather than a superficial individual with cash in their pocket. :)

[TheMadOladCoger]

I feel as if I could do more, I hope thats true all I want is to make a step in my industry I will start low and work my way up if I have to. I do, Im consumed by them doubts.

I always put her first, she is all I care about. I want to give her everything and seeing me happy in my career is something I know she wants for me and I want to get that for the both of us.

Peace

[Lucinda07]

I wish you the very best of luck! You deserve success:D

[Fishmanpa]

Success is relative. I'm in the music business and the film and video production industry is quite similar. I consider myself to be successful even though I never made it to the "big time" so to speak. I made a pretty good living playing music and working in the media production industry.

Let me tell it like it is. I equate the music and film industries to "Occupy Wall Street" in that there are the 1%ers and the rest are in the 99%. Let's call it "Occupy Indie Artists".

Only that 1% make it big. The rest? that's where it gets interesting. The music and film businesses are first and foremost, a "businesses". Your craft must be a given. How you approach it after that will determine the level of success you have. In addition to your film and video production skills, hone some business skills as well. Learn business management and marketing. These skills in addition to your creative chops will get you further than creativity alone. Think about all those creative artists and producers that learned how to utilize social media platforms (Youtube, Facebook etc.). These little things make a BIG difference and can get you noticed.

Again, success is relative. I'm old enough to be your father and let me tell you something I've always taught my kids... Real success is living your life by the words in my signature. My son always wanted to travel. I encouraged him to do so. He has a career with a large airline company, lives halfway across the country and travels the world at his leisure at 25 years old. My daughter (22) is following her passion for teaching and love of children and graduating the end of the year with a degree in early childhood development and education and a minor in music. It's not about the $$$ (although it's nice), it's about enjoying what you do. Whether you work for a company or are self employed, enjoy what you do. That's more than 75% of the battle...

Lastly, be passionate about your work. The rest will fall into place. Hey... after 40+ years playing music, having played on street corners to big stages, I still love what I do and was rewarded by being asked to play at 2016 "Merlefest", which is the biggest Americana music festivals in the US. It was a huge honor and some major street cred for sure. All because I love what I do and it shows enough that people recognize it.

Positive thoughts

[Lucinda07]

So very true FMP, enjoy what you do!

[TheMadOladCoger]

Thank you for that FMP, I found what you said very truthful and useful. I my self don't do it to make loads of money, that is just something that might happen if I'm lucky.
Me and my Partner don't plan on having kids ever so we have always said that we don't need loads of money to live off as long as we are happy together that all that really matters. As long as I can live comfortably I will never complain.
I think the advise on learning marketing is brilliant, I myself want to go into one of two things producing (Production Assistant first) or Script Writing and marketing would help for the former a lot so I may look into that. As to the comment love what you do, I love it I really do thats why I don't want to fail I want to spend my life making Film/TV/Adverts/Promotional Video/Documentaries anything in the industry as long as I get to experience and learn new things I will love it all that I'm sure of.

Thanks for the kind words, all of you.

Peace