Does you Anxiety make you a better partner?

[TheMadOladCoger]

Hello,

So I know its an odd question, but does your anxiety make you a better partner to your significant other?

Ever since my anxiety hit the heights it has over the recent years, I have changed in the way I approach my relationship I have had the same partner throughout it all and at the start of this relationship I was quite frankly rubbish.

However, ever since my anxiety got worse it allowed me to see how much I feared losing my partner and it changed me and I am a far better person to her. I would say she is my soul mate and that I will never be without her.

Have any of you experienced this? Did you anxiety allow you to build a bond with your significant other or was it just me?

Peace

[Beckybecks]

In some ways yes. Because when a person suffers from anxiety they become more compassionate and sensitive towards others.
But if your partner has never experienced anxiety themselves it's very hard for them to totally understand and no matter how kind and caring a person they are, it must be hard for them to remain tolerant to our anxieties at times.

[Fishmanpa]

From a non-sufferer perspective, sadly, mental illness contributed greatly to the dissolution of my first marriage (severe depression and hoarding) and in a serious relationship afterwards (bi-polar and anxiety).

I was willing to help but in both cases, had they made the effort to help themselves, things may have been different. It was unimaginably difficult to watch someone you love become someone you eventually don't know nor want to anymore.

I always say that serious physical illnesses can bury you six feet under. Having untreated mental illness essentially does that to you above ground. So many worry about leaving their loved ones due to imaginary illnesses and fears yet they're already doing that by living in constant fear and worry and being logged onto the internet Googling and on forums.

Positive thoughts

[miserable git]

Hello,

So I know its an odd question, but does your anxiety make you a better partner to your significant other?

Ever since my anxiety hit the heights it has over the recent years, I have changed in the way I approach my relationship I have had the same partner throughout it all and at the start of this relationship I was quite frankly rubbish.

However, ever since my anxiety got worse it allowed me to see how much I feared losing my partner and it changed me and I am a far better person to her. I would say she is my soul mate and that I will never be without her.

Have any of you experienced this? Did you anxiety allow you to build a bond with your significant other or was it just me?

Peace

No of course not, if you have been diagnosed with anxiety it is a serious mental illness in which people suffer to carry out day to day tasks without feeling immense pressure, sometimes resulting in physical illness. Fearing losing your partner sounds more like desperation considering your illness becoming worse.

Furthermore people who suffer from SA are a lot more likely to develop depression.

Be extremely cautious with who you chose to "build a bond" with.

[TheMadOladCoger]

I wouldn't say desperation at all, I feared loosing her because I love her. My anxiety has always been around my health only recently have I had a different kind, because of stress and me not really knowing where to go next with my life.

I have never suffered from SA, in fact quite the opposite even with anxiety I am still quite fun and out going. I don't go to parties or clubs more because I don't drink and being around drunk people is the worst thing if you don't get drunk yourself.

I think the being cautious part is true, its more of a trust thing for me and I do trust my partner. Always have, always will. However, in my case since getting a better understanding and a bit of control over my HA/anxiety I have been a better man and a better partner.

Peace

[debs71]

I think that - in my experience - anxiety sufferers by nature tend to be sensitive souls...I think this is why we tend to be vulnerable and prone to suffering from anxiety in the first place.

I think that suffering any kind of mental illness makes us appreciate the cherished and good things in life, and want to hang on to them....I think therefore this would make us work harder in a relationship......the problem though is that often our anxiety can create a lot of problems within that relationship, and that is the test.....whether our other half is willing to go through the storm with us or not, no matter how considerate we may be as a partner.

For me personally, I have been seeing someone for 7 years now, and only last year disclosed to him that I suffer from mental health issues - GAD, depression and panic disorder. He was stunned and wanted to know why I never told him before. I hide my mental health problems quite well now, having suffered from them for 13 years, so he never picked up on it.

Interestingly, HE has actually become a more considerate and gentler person towards me since, which is lovely. He is quite a tough nut and doesn't mince his words normally, but I noticed he has softened since.....so it can sometimes work the other way too.

[chiguy]

I wouldn't say desperation at all, I feared loosing her because I love her. My anxiety has always been around my health only recently have I had a different kind, because of stress and me not really knowing where to go next with my life.

I have never suffered from SA, in fact quite the opposite even with anxiety I am still quite fun and out going. I don't go to parties or clubs more because I don't drink and being around drunk people is the worst thing if you don't get drunk yourself.

I think the being cautious part is true, its more of a trust thing for me and I do trust my partner. Always have, always will. However, in my case since getting a better understanding and a bit of control over my HA/anxiety I have been a better man and a better partner.

Peace

Wow. I am literally experiencing everything you're describing here to a T. I feel for you big time.

Part of what I'm beginning to realize is I've never REALLY felt (as in emotionally) before and feelings can be intense! I really love how close I feel to my wife right now, and it is already making me a better man...I just need to get through this bout of SA and I'm hopeful for a very bright future.

I encourage you to keep exploring your feelings...it's been hard for me but also very eye-opening. I also applaud you for admitting it; that's the first step.

My favorite thing to do now is hug and kiss my wife. It feels like it's supposed to :)