Struggling with Anxiety

[TaylorC]

I’ve been having a really tough time for the past few weeks.

A bit of backstory – in 2013, I was under a lot of stress and I started to get random pains. It turned out I had a urine infection, but I got antibiotics and it went away. Anyway, I kept getting tons of random pains and symptoms, and I started to worry about them.

And things just got worse and worse for about 6 months – at first I didn’t know that all of the things that I was feeling were anxiety related. I always associated anxiety with panic attacks – and I wasn’t having those.

Anyway, back then I realized after speaking with doctors that it was anxiety and I took time off from work and I got better without medication – which I had been offered.

Anyway, since 2013, I’ve dealt with stresses in life pretty well.
But, about three weeks ago, I started to get chest pains, which went into the back and the left arm. Deep down I knew it was anxiety and so did my husband.

However, I worried about it so much, even when my husband rubbed the area, which was tender and told me that it was muscular pain. I worried something was wrong with my heart.

So, after about two weeks of worrying about my heart I went to the doctor, who told me it was most likely anxiety. I had an ECG done, which was fine. I was relieved, and figured that it was all down to anxiety.

I felt a bit better. Then the weekend after I saw the doctor (so last weekend), I was sitting watching a movie with my husband, feeling relaxed, and my chest started to feel really tight, and I felt breathless – almost like someone was crushing my chest.

It was awful – and I’ve felt that way since. My right eye started to twitch and my lip started to tingle too. I felt so awful that I phoned to speak with the doctor – who again told me it was anxiety.

When I was anxious last time, it was because of my health and other things going on in my life at the time.

But now, I know my chest pain is nothing, work is great, and I’m under no stress, but I still feel really anxious.

I’m anxious about being anxious.

Now, I wake up every morning scared about how bad anxiety is going to make me feel that day. I’m terrified that it’s going to just break my mind and I’ll end up catatonic or something ridiculous.

I guess I’m looking for advice on what to do when anxiety is making you anxious.

At the moment, I feel really spaced out, and just not myself :(

[Beckybecks]

I think one of my greatest fears in the past was a fear of fear! I've always thought how stupid I was to do this, but it's very real and I sympathise with you. You've told your story very well and I can see, as you can too, how it's roller coastered towards this point.
One of,the biggest steps forward is accepting that these symptoms are due to anxiety and that they won't get worse and in fact they do go away in time if you dont feed them with more anxiety.
Make a huge effort to rationalize your thoughts, keep your mind occupied and do things that make you happy.

[TaylorC]

Thanks so much for your response Becky. I completely agree that the best thing to do is to accept the symptoms are anxiety and that they'll go away if you don't feed them.

I was having issues with feeling short of breath, but I did the above, as well as some breathing exercises and the symptom went away.
I've been dealing with the physical symptoms much better.

The only thing is that i''m worried that my mind's bit on edge. Like my husband and I were doing the face swap thing on Snapchat - where you essentially swap each other's faces on the camera - and it really freaked me out. And, not like, oh there's a spider over there, that's a bit scary - but like a physical reaction where my eyes felt like they popped out of my head - not literally of course - and I had to look away.

I'm a bit concerned at my reaction, and feel like my mind is really on edge. I fear that something will scare it again and I'll flip out and snap or something.

Has anyone else experienced that feeling of being on edge or that things that aren't really that bad freak you out/make you feel a bit scared or overwhelmed?

Any advice is very appreciated.

[oscar1]

Hi. Im sorry your anxiety is so bad at the moment. Has your doctor recommended any medication or anything? When my anxiety was really really bad I found that the most helpful thing was to keep my mind occupied. I had to take time off of work so i used to buy puzzle books, like sudoku and crosswords. Little things like that. It was difficult but it did eventually get more manageable.

[chiguy]

Has anyone else experienced that feeling of being on edge or that things that aren't really that bad freak you out/make you feel a bit scared or overwhelmed?

Any advice is very appreciated.

Hi Taylor! You and I are VERY similar. I've had panic attacks for over 15 years now and the last two months have been me finally realizing that there is NOTHING wrong with me other than the anxiety. I have realized that I in a weird way leaned on a crutch of having heart problems or circulatory problems to trick myself into believing that this wasn't all anxiety related. I also have other external issues that have unconsciously contributed to my anxiety. Some my doing, some not. Therapy has worked in helping me identify these things, but I'd be lying if I said this time is a quick fix. My first go at therapy was quick and easy and I snapped out of it really fast. Unfortunately, I didn't really confront my deep issues at that time and lo and behold, 10 years later, here they are again. I have come to realize that this time will be a bit tougher, but the pay off will hopefully be a lifetime spent in recovery and happiness. :)

Coming to grips with the fact that I have an anxiety disorder (at least for me) has been very scary in and of itself. I have found that discussing with others that have similar experiences helped me feel far less alone.

I hope you're starting to feel better and wish you nothing but warmth in your recovery!

[TaylorC]

Chiguy thanks for your help! I can relate to what you said here "I have realized that I in a weird way leaned on a crutch of having heart problems or circulatory problems to trick myself into believing that this wasn't all anxiety related."

That really resonates with me, because I think that my mind was creating symptoms, like shortness of breath or tingling, so that I would have a problem to solve - rather than dealing with the root issue of anxiety.

Now, I realize that a lot of my symptoms, like shortness of breath, tingling and feeling a bit spacey are simply anxiety and can't harm me. In fact, many of my physical symptoms, like the tingling, have actually stopped since I realized they were nothing and stopped feeding them.

The only thing right now that's making me anxious is my heart - I'm not sure whether to go into detail about that too much here, or start a new thread. But, my chest has been feeling a bit tight, and I know this sounds weird, but I woke up really upset in the middle of the night last night, feeling like my heart was seizing up and like it was just going to stop.

To be honest, my chest pain was what began this cycle of anxiety, and now I'm starting to wonder whether the chest pain caused the anxiety, rather than the other way around.

I'm not anxious about anything right now, but my heart is on my mind. I had one ECG done, but that's it.

And, thanks for you response too Oscar. My doctor offered to prescribe me propranol to slow my heart rate and stop the physical symptoms, but, as a racing heart isn't really much of an issue for me any more, and, as I can slow it down myself when it does occur, through breathing techniques the propanol is of no use to me.