Not coping with anxiety

[Mummytothree]

Hi all
I'm new here, and I am so glad I've found this forum. I am really really struggling right now with anxiety, I've always had anxiety but never ever this bad. Myself and my 3 children are going abroad with my parents, my niece and my sister next Monday (bank holiday). Hubby isn't coming as he is going away with friends for his birthday. As the holiday is getting nearer and nearer my anxiety about everything is getting worse and worse.
* I worry about something happening at the airport and not being able to protect all my children and leaving my husband alone with no wife or children
* I worry about something happening on the plane and not being able to protect my children and leaving my husband alone with no wife or children
* I worry about one of my children getting poorly before we go and being unable to fly meaning we can't go and letting everyone down

I realise the top two fears are quite irrational fears and sometimes I am able to stop the worrying about them by telling myself that. However, if I stop worrying about that I then start panicking that something will stop us from going on holiday (mainly health related) and so start worrying about this instead. It's also making me feel like I want to keep them at home with no contact with the outside world for a week so they don't get poorly.So I am always worrying about something and I can't deal with it anymore 😢

People don't seem to understand how anxiety affects me, they think I just worry a lot and that's that. But it's so much more than that, it consumes most of my thoughts every day and that is so draining.

I feel like I need to visit my gp but fear that they will think I'm just being silly and over reacting when I'm not. I am breastfeeding my 11 month old daughter so unsure if I can take any meds.

Thank you for reading, I just can't carry on like this!

xxx

[rbm]

Sounds like postpartum depression and the anxiety that comes with it.i have only one and i know we can.t protect them from everything.fear consumes us all, but you have to be strong for them.you have a bunch of family with you(although i find the absence of your husband inexcusable in this case, sorry) and you should be fine.some xanax should do you a world of good, but i don.t know if you can breastfeed or not.shutting yourself away from the world isn.t the solution.relax and think of the good times ahead.best of luck

[Mummytothree]

Thank you for your reply. My husbands birthday trip has been planned for over a year, he never goes out or sees his friends otherwise as they live 200+ miles away. He works very hard for us so he deserves it. My mum only booked their holiday in January and with it being the same time he was away she asked if we wanted to come along and we decided to because I know my children will get so much out of it.
I think I need to make a visit to my GP, I never really considered postpartum depression. I'm sure I will be fine and able to put a brave face on as always, I just find it so hard sometimes.
Thank you