Please help!!

[AVS17]

I've been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety, Depression and OCD.

Since about the age of 11 I have struggled with obsessions and depression. After watching a medical documentary about breast cancer with my mother, I became absolutely convinced that I have breast cancer...this at the tender age of 11. Then at the age of 14 I was convinced that I have HIV, this would later become a regular fear/obsession. What I can't understand is the fact that I cannot accept the fact that eventhough all tests were negative, my brain just couldn't accept it...I'm always thinking something like "what if the laboratory made a mistake" etc.

When I turned 21 I was convinced that I wouldn't live to see 22. This was due to the fact that both my parents, were three children, and both lost the middle brother at the age of 21 in car accidents. Well with me being the middle child (I have 2 brothers) I came to the conclusion that I would not live to see 22.

I just turned 25.

Now I am convinced that I will not live to see 30. Why do I have this feeling? It causes severe anxiety and depression and every day is a struggle. Any advice would be really helpful, I am so scared!!

[Beckybecks]

When we suffer from depression and anxiety we do have gloomy negative thoughts which become a habit. You can get therapy to break those habits. Have you tried CBT?
Meantime you can take antidepressants to help you feel better. If you've been diagnosed did the doctor prescribe any meds or suggest therapy?
You'll also find a lot of help and caring people on this forum.
I see you're from SA? Me too, but now living in the UK.

[AVS17]

I've been on meds for a long time now. My doctor changed my medication recently. It's exhausting feeling this way, it affects every aspect of my life. Nobody close to me can relate because they've never struggled with depression and/or anxiety. Since you are from SA you most likely understand the general attitude people here have..."kry jou kop reg of dink positief"... I hope that you still understand Afrikaans? I just can't get rid of these thoughts of not making it past 30, it's so terrifying :scared15:

Where in SA are you from?

[Beckybecks]

Yes I do still understand Afrikaans, I've been here less than two years and if anything, my move has made me more South Afrcan!

Yes, it's true that people who haven't suffered from this condition can't understand and the attitude is generally "just pull yourself together!". A psychologist once told me that one of the benefits of suffering through this is that you become a far more compassionate and caring person. I just wish I had a few of those type of people around.....my husband actually makes fun of me or implies that I'm doing this on purpose! Why would anyone want to go through this hell by choice???

But it's made me realize that I, alone am responsible for my recovery and that nobody else can climb into my brain and change it. I have to unLearn all the bad habits I've formed over the years. Like you, from an early age.

CBT has helped me a lot because I've had to challenge my thoughts and I feel more in control than when I took medication to mask the symptoms. Have you tried it! I did an online course.

I'm from Port Alfred, near P.E.. Where are you living? Im very homesick and just want to go home which doesn't help my condition much......