DoodleDoo
25-05-16, 23:41
Hi there - this is me ...
Almost permanent anxiety leading to dire panic attacks is my thing. Getting on for 50 and very confident and successful up until a couple of years back, then a string of things went wrong that have lead to this.
I've still got a good job. I love my wife, family, friends. I've had a great life ... But the last 18 months have been hell (the way I feel I mean) and it's getting worse. I'm on Propranolol which helps a little bit, and Valium which helps a lot (but can't get much of that so have to ration to only when I'm desperate.
I just don't understand the anxiety because there is need for it. Done a lot of web reading and I see 100s of people explain they are feeling exactly as I do. I'm not scared of anything - don't think that I'm going to die or am ill - not naturally nervous about anything - Basically have the physical symptoms of anxiety and panic without any reason to bring them on.
I am happiest asleep. I have no problem getting to sleep and don't wake up until morning or get bad dreams. I am fine for about 5 minutes after waking then heart starts going and irrational thoughts start. This often leads to a panic state where all I can do is pace up and down.
I have hidden it from all but close family but it's getting bad now - starting to effect work as in worst states I am incapable of doing anything at all... and worst state brings on stuttering, hyperventilating, tingling... You name it - same as everyone else reports! At night we have a couple of glasses of wine - this relaxes me to the point that by the time I go to bed I am almost 100% normal... I get the same false hope every day that I'm getting better... Until tomorrow comes!
I was given sertraline but the side effects of being high/sick are not something I can face for 6 weeks or more before they work, so don't take them. I don't think I have the right personality for CBt to work on me.
I would give anything to get rid of this... I don't think I can cope with it much longer!
Almost permanent anxiety leading to dire panic attacks is my thing. Getting on for 50 and very confident and successful up until a couple of years back, then a string of things went wrong that have lead to this.
I've still got a good job. I love my wife, family, friends. I've had a great life ... But the last 18 months have been hell (the way I feel I mean) and it's getting worse. I'm on Propranolol which helps a little bit, and Valium which helps a lot (but can't get much of that so have to ration to only when I'm desperate.
I just don't understand the anxiety because there is need for it. Done a lot of web reading and I see 100s of people explain they are feeling exactly as I do. I'm not scared of anything - don't think that I'm going to die or am ill - not naturally nervous about anything - Basically have the physical symptoms of anxiety and panic without any reason to bring them on.
I am happiest asleep. I have no problem getting to sleep and don't wake up until morning or get bad dreams. I am fine for about 5 minutes after waking then heart starts going and irrational thoughts start. This often leads to a panic state where all I can do is pace up and down.
I have hidden it from all but close family but it's getting bad now - starting to effect work as in worst states I am incapable of doing anything at all... and worst state brings on stuttering, hyperventilating, tingling... You name it - same as everyone else reports! At night we have a couple of glasses of wine - this relaxes me to the point that by the time I go to bed I am almost 100% normal... I get the same false hope every day that I'm getting better... Until tomorrow comes!
I was given sertraline but the side effects of being high/sick are not something I can face for 6 weeks or more before they work, so don't take them. I don't think I have the right personality for CBt to work on me.
I would give anything to get rid of this... I don't think I can cope with it much longer!