View Full Version : Having an anxiety 'blip'
I haven't posted for a while and I have been doing really well, getting out and about. I have been on holidays and have been feeling more confident then I have ever felt before in my life.
I had an upset stomach on Monday night which was over the next day but I have had high anxiety since :weep:
I think what scares me most is how easily it has crept back into my life. I am trying to tell myself it is just because I was physically unwell but I am overthinking so much and struggling to be rational about things.
I haven't done any work this week and I am self employed so no work, no pay which adds on more pressure. I just feel so useless :weep:
MyNameIsTerry
27-05-16, 12:02
Sorry to hear about your blip, Annie, but there is also a lot of positives here too so its great to hear that you haven't been around because you have been doing really well. I seem to recall you worried a lot about going on holiday too so that must have gone well for you. :yesyes:
I also remember that symptoms in that dept were a big trigger for you before. So, they are bound to be the ones that stick the boot into you the most until you manage to eliminate them from your anxiety. That said, a blip doesn't undo all your hard work, it's just a bit of stark reminder where a lot of those old thoughts reappear and we dread returning to how we were.
So, could this be a case of pushing through by getting your daily routines back on track?
You ain't useless! You've just said you've been feeling more confident than ever in your life. Beware negative thinking and judging/labelling yourself, it won't be based on facts and will be Emotional Reasoning, one of those Cognitive Distortions from negative thinking. It's natural but you have been moving forward so you will learn to stop these negative thinking patterns taking hold the more you move forward.
Your anxiety will try to persuade you to associate the blip with how you were before and will try not to let you remember all the more recent positives. It will try to make you feel a failure. That's it's self protection mechanism.
I think empowerment will help you here.
Thank you for your reply Terry, you have described my feelings about myself at the moment perfectly. It is so discouraging when it seems like the anxiety is back and all the negatives take over. I have to remember how many good days I have had. A couple of years ago if someone had offered me a lethal injection I would have been happy...how pleased I am that no one one did!! I have achieved a lot since then and created happy memories. I have got through it before and can do it again.
I have dragged myself out of bed today and done some ironing. I feel like I am going through the motions but not really 'here'. One day at a time! The biggest worry for me is that my husband is now retired (I am 10 year younger than him). I need to work and I do enjoy my work but at the moment I feel like I can't cope with anything.
Don't over analyse how you are feeling, Annie. Just think of the progress you have made. You were physically unwell and have felt a bit "unstuck" for a few days-this doesn't mean that it's all going to come back and overwhelm you again. It's just a "blip" as you say-have faith in yourself and carry on as normal. Banish the doubts and think of all the positives you have achieved x
Thank you Pulisa, it is so easy to let the negatives creep back when you have been physically unwell and I am terrible at beating myself up over things I can't do when I am unwell instead of accepting that I need some rest.
I think we ladies tend to feel that we need to carry on regardless....I know I do! I hope you feel better soon and try not to give yourself a hard time?!
MyNameIsTerry
27-05-16, 14:21
My blips were constant with my meds giving me mood swings and it took me some time to come to terms with this. I couldn't see (and keep hold of) the better times and it would have been good to talk on here back then so people told me it was normal. I think you are far enough ahead in your recovery to see what I couldn't because I was still too naive and too close to those feelings of wishing it away even through death.
I know what you mean about lethal injection, I've been through that too. I found it helpful to see others further ahead of me as it disproved my negative thinking. I don't count myself ahead like that, although I know I am with some people joining here and that's why I know truly that it can get better because everything they are saying on here was what I was saying too and I know you will understand that by what you have just said.
Right now some of that has made a brief return BUT you are not that same person anymore. I do this battle myself too but I've learned a lot of it's tricks so it can't hook me like it did. Whilst I still struggle a bit with the sensations, I've got a handle on that negative thinking so that I no longer allow it to pull down into low mood. Once you get to this stage, it's like you feel yourself sinking inside but you can stop it and push on and it fades away. I wish I could do the same with the sensations as much but they are still an issue and the obsession side is still a big problem for me but I know this proves to me that you can claw your way back, it's just one hell of a learning process.
Pulisa is absolutely right here, I think women struggle with this as you are more cultivated (the right word escapes me, brain fog day! ) to be taking care of everyone else and keeping yourself going. We men are a bit more stuck in our work and rudderless without it. We end up depressed and lost, you start kicking yourselves.
Be kind to yourself. You're up now and doing some things, that's a start. Just add things in and bit by bit build up. If you can't face work right now as it feels a bit overwhelming to commit to it, can you choose an activity that might brighten your mood up a bit?
I think GI issues leave anyone feeling a bit generally unwell anyway. Even the adverts for remedies seem to indicate that so perhaps a bit of acceptance too that it's ok to feel unwell?
Welcome back Annie, Sorry to hear about your blip. We all get them from time to time. I would love to wake up in the mornings and feel "Normal".
Hope you get back to feeling better soon. One day at a time:hugs:x
Yes women do think they have to keep going :) My husband once said "Don't worry about the housework it will still be there when you are better!" I did manage to get him organised!
It has been a sunny afternoon so I have been out for a little walk and it has brightened me up a bit more. My daughter came to see me and brought me a new colouring book and some pens. (Same as I did for her as a child when she was poorly :D )
Wouldn't it be nice if men could take over and do the chores whilst you were unwell? So that they weren't "waiting" for you when you got better! The sense of responsibility is very strong in women I think-everyone relies on you to keep going...
Pulisa my hubby is retired now and he is getting better at doing jobs. he does most of the cooking now. I have got him just about trained now :D
MyNameIsTerry
27-05-16, 22:48
Pulisa my hubby is retired now and he is getting better at doing jobs. he does most of the cooking now. I have got him just about trained now :D
We didn't evolve from primates quite so quickly as you did :roflmao:
---------- Post added at 22:48 ---------- Previous post was at 22:47 ----------
Wouldn't it be nice if men could take over and do the chores whilst you were unwell? So that they weren't "waiting" for you when you got better! The sense of responsibility is very strong in women I think-everyone relies on you to keep going...
:ohmy::sofa:
You'll be expecting us to have babies next! :D
We didn't evolve from primates quite so quickly as you did :roflmao:
---------- Post added at 22:48 ---------- Previous post was at 22:47 ----------
:ohmy::sofa:
You'll be expecting us to have babies next! :D
That would be great!!!
Annie, I know how you feel. When I am doing well and have a blip, I get really down on myself. Try to just let it ride, take care of yourself, and you will feel better. Congratulations on doing so well :)
Soooo funny Terry!��
Annie, lovely to hear you have been doing so well.
You are only having a 'blip'
And I completely understand your mindset during this period, the your brain thoughts seems to revert
To when you're mental health was very low.
What you have to do is spend some time writing down these negative thoughts
And also how realistic \worthwhile these thoughts are.
And also write down how far you've come, and all your many successes .
Read and reread this to remind yourself. How for you've come , it is ONLY a 'blip"
And you definitely have the ability\resources to get back on track again.
Xx
anastasia04
28-05-16, 01:29
Hi Annie, i had a very similar blip as well recently, and like you it stemmed from being sick(i had really bad stomach flu for 3 days). I was so physically weak and nauseous from losing so much fluid that it triggered my anxiety to come back. I know it feels like you're taking a step back instead of forward but you can't forget all the progress you've made. I know that its SO hard to think positively during these periods but you just have to remind yourself that it's just temporary. There are so many amazing feelings and happy times to look forward to. Also i've learned that acceptance is key. As an anxiety sufferer, you can't expect to go through life being symptom free. There will always be "blips" and low moments. I always make the mistake of thinking that "it will never happen again" and then when anxiety comes back, i get extremely discouraged and depressed. Once you accept that your anxiety is a process and there will be times when it flares up again, it makes it a little bit easier to deal with.
Hi Annie nice to see you on the forum again:D sorry your having a blip! Get well soon!
MyNameIsTerry
28-05-16, 04:43
That would be great!!!
I'm opting for a caesarean then! When my mum gave birth to my big brother the doctor said "good god, are you giving birth to a baby elephant?!" He was about 13Ibs...lucky he was her second then! :D
Thank you for all your support everyone. I love watching those videos of men experiencing the same level of pain as childbirth :D
I have woke up feeling very anxious again. I have a client coming for an aromatherapy massage at 10 and don't want to cancel. It is only for an hour so hopefully I will manage to get through it.
It is just a horrible overwhelming feeling, Annie-don't give it significance or importance. You will manage the aromatherapy massage and carry on with your day. You have acknowledged your feelings of anxiety but these feelings will not stop you in your tracks-you know the way to power on through regardless x
It becomes so easy to think "No, I will just stay in bed all day and cry" but my rational mind (which is becoming stronger) says "Get yourself out of bed, treat your client and then if you feel tired after you can always rest on the bed again later" Instead of planning a full day I take it in little steps to get me through the day. Still a HUGE effort at the moment though!
MyNameIsTerry
28-05-16, 10:45
Men experiencing the pain of childbirth?! :ohmy: That might be a bit like watching me having to sit through Eurovision or an Eastenders omnibus :D
That massage sounds like an ideal distraction and I bet once you get chatting and get into it you will feel a bit better and more confident. Hopefully it will give the rest of your day a boost.
And if you feel good after, how about a nice reward?
I've always struggled with morning anxiety myself. Something in your mind just seems to take a big groan at having to go through it all again. Getting on with the day does seem to help a bit with this.
You will beat it! Your rational mind is empowering you.
For me staying in bed would be the worst torture as I'm unable to keep still-good job there's no opportunity for that and I'm thankful I have a lot to keep me going. In fact my role as a carer has been my saving grace I think. Terry and I know all about the perils of trying to sit still and do nothing!:D
I hope the aromatherapy massage helped you focus on other more positive things. You are obviously a very competent therapist and I'm sure your client has benefitted from your skill and expertise. Doing the massage must be quite tiring for you but in a positive way?
Massage over and I was fine. My client has suffered anxiety herself so knows how it is. She said if it is making you worse I don't mind if you stop. We chatted and she enjoyed the massage and I felt relaxed too. Great therapy for both of us. I only booked one in today to keep the pressure of me but I think I could have managed more.
Am really pleased that all went well. You did it and you both benefitted! Hope the rest of your day goes smoothly-take it an hour at a time x
MyNameIsTerry
28-05-16, 12:30
Well that's good to hear, Annie. Plus it hasn't drained you which is also encouraging and a sign that things are not as bad as I bet you can remember how trying used to do that?
Giving someone a massage is a pleasing thing to do (:blush:) and it's a bit like a grounding exercise too when you think about it. Handling objects and employing all your senses whilst thinking about how sensation changes and how it makes you feel is a Mindfulness exercise, something I practiced within that, but that's perhaps best reserved for a massage on your hubby for obvious reasons thinking about how detailed that gets :blush:
That's a point, if you feel it helps you perhaps he can be your guinea pig? :yesyes:
Haha my hubby is always willing!
Previously with anxiety I would worry about everything in the future, now I just think about what is happening now and it is amazing how much that helps. Being self employed helps as I don't feel committed to someone else and I don't have to worry about phoning in sick. Previously I had back to work reviews to contend with were they would say "you look well enough" all that put more stress on me.
MyNameIsTerry
30-05-16, 06:22
Haha my hubby is always willing!
He's got to do the washing & ironing first though before he gets a treat :winks: http://www.bestemoticon.com/smiley/metiers/met033.gif
He's got to do the washing & ironing first though before he gets a treat :winks: http://www.bestemoticon.com/smiley/metiers/met033.gif
No chance of getting him to do the ironing. He often does the cooking though.
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