Just need to vent

[danithegirl]

Just need to get this out of my system. I'm so frustrated. Last Friday was my birthday, and I had an amazing day. An amazing weekend, in fact. I've been feeling better than I have been, which makes me so happy.

I went to the grocery store on Monday with the intention of getting stuff to make burrito bowls for hubby and me. I started putting stuff in the cart, then called hubby to see if we needed anything else. After we hung up, The Feeling popped up, and I realized I needed to leave. I got in my car, took a few deep breaths, then started driving. I called hubby back (I have a bluetooth in my car, don't worry!), and just burst into tears. I was completely freaked out because I was having a huge relapse. Hubby managed to calm me down and we ended up getting fast food for dinner, but it still sucked.

Since Monday, I'm back to just kind of feeling blah. I do know that I'm much better than I was this time last month, but it still sucks to just be constantly feeling blah and still questioning everything, even though I try not to.

When I went for my follow up, my doctor suggested I look for a therapist. Might be time to get on that...

[Mojo61]

Aww, it's always so frustrating when this happens, but I think it's important not to see it as a relapse but as a "blip" because a relapse means a complete return to the way you were before the medication, and you say yourself that this isn't the case.

Sometimes life throws us lemons, no matter if anxious or not, and it is how we choose to deal with those lemons that counts. Instead of feeling like you have somehow failed because you had a blip, how about seeing it this way: 'OK, I freaked out a bit in that store, but I dealt with it and managed to drive home perfectly well. I still feel a bit crappy but I'm going to continue moving forward and try not to dwell on what happened. It was just a thought and I've had a lot worse in the past and if it happens again I will deal with it again and not let it hold me back'

Don't let a little setback like this distress you Dani, you have proved that you can get through this and come out the other side so just hold that thought - you are a strong lady and you are not going to let that b****** anxiety win!

Big hugs :bighug1:

[Victory2016]

Are you near/having your monthly cycle? could be the culprit. I always get set back with my monthly cycle.

[biker71]

I no the feeling well.....and it sucks....i watched a thing on youtube about depression that made me understand it better....hope you get thru it and more better days

[mrose]

Danithegirl,

You should definitely go and find a therapist.
In my opinion proper therapy is the real way out of this. Medications are just a tool that will enable you to stabilize enough so that you can work on yourself with the professional help of a therapist.

I keep reading so many times that people think of medication of some sort of magic pill that will fix everything. Often they are easiliy disappointed when it doesn't work so they try another, and another....

Therapy is, and should always be, the main form of treatment. Medication is just a little help along the way. That has it's time and place in the road to full recovery.

Stay strong!

[Suziewuzie]

Dani it's NOT a relapse! It's just a bad day and it has most likely spooked you after feeling so good & made you think "Oh no I'm going back to where I was"
This is normal but I promise you, you aren't going backwards - nothing can undo all of the good days you've had. We have anxiety & we are always going to have bad days and it's always going to knock the wind out of our sails when we do, BUT that's all they are; bad days. You might have a few bad days in a row, because it's horrible when you've been feeling so great and then all of a sudden feel lousy, but remind yourself that they WILL pass. Everyone's do. Everyone has bad days it's just that ours are a little worse than theirs.
My advice - go back to that store, get your stuff to make burrito bowls & prove to yourself and your stupid anxiety that it was just a bad day and you aren't really afraid. Xxx

[danithegirl]

Thanks, guys. It's been a rough past few days. I am, indeed, approaching that time of the month (I thought it was going to happen last week, turns out it's delayed since I restarted my birth control). It never fails to be worse when that happens. Just for the record, I did go back on Friday and got stuff for our burrito bowls. :)

I had such a blah night last night. All I could think was that I wanted my mom. I just texted her since it was too late last night, haha.

Going to continue finding a therapist. I have a referral, but it's taking that first step to make the call.

:hugs: