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JayBeck
28-05-16, 10:14
Hi everyone! Just thought I'd give you a little run down of my situation.

I'm 30 years old now and I think my anxiety and depression comes from a fear of getting older.

I was okay at school but all I ever did was draw and create things at home on my computer. I had friends, I wasn't a typical "nerd" type I guess. My friends were a healthy mix of ages, genders, backgrounds. My family is very loving and we went on caravan holidays lots - at least once a year. My dad had a well paid job so my mum stayed at home and raised us, they were savvy enough to build a large house despite not being rich. Growing up was fun! But I stuck to creating things and that followed me through college and university. I didn't apply myself to either those things despite getting okay grades.

After university I had NO idea what to do with my life. I set up my own company (well, self-employed software studio) in 2007. I didn't make any real money until 2009. In 2010 that changed when I made a popular piece of software, popular enough that I was approached by people wanting to create sequels. I signed up with them.

In 2012 I got to travel the world giving interviews, making new friends, and most importantly finally making money. I was nominated for a few awards but didn't win any... including getting past the initial stages of a huge huge award!

But then it started to peter out. Early 2013 My contract with them ended and I was back to where I was, all by myself. I landed my first real job (working for someone else) but I wasn't right there and a few months later I left.

Since then I've been working, mostly by myself, from the same old house I grew up in with my parents. 3 years have passed and I've just been working on the same project day in, day out. With no end (or money) in sight.

In this time I'm living off my savings, which will cover me for another year of "regular" living (going to the cinema, going out with friends, taking mini-breaks, paying bills, buying clothes, fuel etc).

But I'm sad because I feel like I've wasted almost 10 years of my life. During those years I've had some really nice opportunities that I've turned down to pursue this (university lecturer, running my own diner, setting up a new software company with friends). I wake up at night and can't get back to sleep worrying over this. I've recently tried to get jobs elsewhere and I never get passed the first step. I don't know if I'm overqualified but I'm so happy just doing anything right now! So long that there's a wage in it.


And with all this going on I'm also renovating a house for myself and my long-term partner. In the past few months I've been getting low, depressive episodes where I can't imagine a future at all. These are horrible and scary but I always get out of them in a few hours or days. But I always return to them.

The stress of all this gave me Vitiligo, docs think I might have IBS that comes and goes, I was put on propranolol to help anxiety attacks (which I rarely have, to be honest). I developed some arm pain due to my work, so after a years worth of physio that helped a bit I, I was (6 months ago) put on co-codamol and more recently tramadol.

I discovered that the SSRI effect of tramadol helped my mood a lot. (apparently I'm in a small percentage of people that don't go loopy on tramadol! So that's a relief). I reported that back to the doc and I've been put on Citalopram for 4 weeks to see if anything improves.

So in boring summary format my worries are!


A fear that I'm not that good at my job, that I've wasted my time.
Money.


That's my story so far. I'm currently in the middle of this and hopefully I'll be able to beat it.


(I had a bout of anxiety after university finished in 2007. I spoke to the doctor about it but I managed to beat it just myself and adapting the way I worry over stuff. That was health-based, a problem I now know to be restless legs)

venusbluejeans
28-05-16, 10:19
Hiya JayBeck and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

fduop
28-05-16, 19:23
Good afternoon JayBeck. After reading your post all I can say is, wow. This is just me talking but I'd say you haven't wasted a moment. Yes, things sometime don't turn out like we want them too and yes, it's wise to reassess things as we go along. The thing I'm reading is you're moving forward. You have a project that your working on and while it may seem "stuck in the mud". At least it got stuck while going somewhere.

When we spend too much time worrying about what has happened or worrying about what might happen. You end up getting unfocused and pretty unhappy. Believe me, I'm no expert on anything. But I do know what it's like spinning my wheels in the mud. While I'm glad to see you are proactive about your health situation, take a moment or two and look at you.

I'm really not trying to sound too cryptic but if you are genuinely unhappy don't be afraid to ask yourself why. Then make moves to correct the situation. I hope I've helped more than I hurt JayBeck, best to you as you walk the long road of life.

JayBeck
28-05-16, 20:05
That's currently what I'm trying to do. I'm always evaluating myself, always trying to optimise and improve things. I realised I need to do something new. I think one of my worries is that if I was to do something new, that I'd have to start back at square 1. All the jobs I've seen advertised... all the ones I've applied for are entry positions and its daunting to start over.

But. I would love nothing more than do something completely different, away from computers.

What gets me is that whilst I was making crappy software, my friends were studying real subjects like radiography, chemistry, engineering, even just hairdressing (who now runs his own salon), and nursing. I wish I had my head screwed on right during my teens!

I'm feeling much better now. I know that I'm not out of it and that I'll be down again soon. But your words helped :) as did my own attempts to keep myself busy today!