Social anxiety and a lads night out

[Orionar1]

Hello everyone.

I'm a 22 year old guy from rural mid wales who suffers from anxiety and depression. My mates (like most guys my age) are really into going out and partying and consistently pressure me into going out with them. I really don't like going to nightclubs and really busy pubs as I'm pressured by everyone around me into trying to 'pull" or "get laid".

My main anxiety is talking to women so going to a crowded bar and being encouraged to be flirty with women makes me really uncomfortable. I would much rather get to know someone in a less pressured environment. Unfortunately because I live in the middle of nowhere there is very few places to go other than pubs and clubs to meet someone.

Any advice?

[Phoenix91]

I can relate to this in some ways, I'm a 24 year old male, and although I do enjoy drinking, I find really busy bars and clubs pretty awful places. I think there's this false misconception that clubs and bars are full of people picking up the opposite sex and having a great time. But the truth is you can't get to know someone in a dark room, where you can hardly hear a word they say.....I have to be very very drunk to enjoy a club. Fortunately I've never been pressured by friends to go up to girls (which I'm also terrible at). Maybe just tell them you're finding it really annoying and you just want to be left to enjoy your night.

Have you considered online dating? I've done it myself with some success, and pretty much all single people I know around my age have tried it in some fashion. It can be a bit hard to get to know someone via a computer screen but at least you could arrange to meet somewhere where you can actually get to know them, like a cafe.

Best of luck! I know how hard social anxiety can make forming new relationships with girls, but it sounds like you're a conscientious guy who wants more than to just 'get laid'. A trait I'm sure the right girl will appreciate.

[georgewing]

Well i think you should try because i was also was feeling uncomfortable when going to clubs ,bars etc .But when i comfront my fear i was see that was an awesome life there and plus you will be forced to socialize and you will leave your confort zone .Confront your fear leave confort zone and you will get other paterns