View Full Version : So I was, am, doing well - freckles.
So since late March I've had a melanoma fear. A friends sister had it in her late teens and it was malignant but she's still here and beat it. However since being told that information I have not stopped obssesivkng over my skin. Ok, I've had a few days of acceptance that my skin is my skin and is 99.9% ok. However i always end up worrying. Always a new freckle. The original worrying freckles we're seen by two nurses and two doctors and given the 'yup, look ok' I've since worried about a few others that have had same eye roll okay given. Now there's a new one. Not new as in wasn't there before but new worry. A freckle on my inner arm.
My freckles are either
1) tan, fat and round (splodges)
2) medium brown, round and small (prob most normal)
3) darker brown, weird shaped and small
4) almost black tiny and perfectly formed.
My whole body has at least four of these. A nurse I met recently said hers are weird shaped. She too had the different types. It's just when you Google (******* that is) they tell freckles are 'round, size of a nail head and circle. And then I see mine and wonder if one or many are cancerous. Everyone tells me I'm ridiculous.
I did well the other day though and went outside without a jacket. I lathered self up in SPF 50 despite the fact I rarely burn.
---------- Post added at 23:52 ---------- Previous post was at 23:17 ----------
I see a few of these about.
why don't you go to a dermatologist? My dad had melanoma and I go once a year for a checkup. by the way he beat it too.
N.
Because I have a fear of something being wrong. The doctor said I didn't need to go but could refer me if I wanted him to. A few weeks back I got the point with my anxiety where I was fine and not worrying. I was at a wedding last weekend and u noticed so many people with similar freckles and wondered if these people worry too.
Go! If there is anything wrong you have to find out...which I highly doubt there is. Secondly once you get the negative report back your mind will be at ease. GO!
N.
On the uk we have the nhs and the service is there for people who need it not us health anxiety sufferers. I wouldnt have an endoscopy if I thought I may maybe probably not have anything with Tum. I've alwaha had these freckles with no history of MM in family, no sunburns and dark feature. But I also don't want to jinx myself by thinking the above
---------- Post added at 01:08 ---------- Previous post was at 01:07 ----------
I saw a nurse recently who had the same sort of freckles and she said they were totally normal.
Oh I misunderstood. I thought the doc said he would send you to a dermatologist if you wanted to go?
Oh he did! But I feel id be wasting appointments he said he would send me for a piece of mind for mydelf nothing else.
Yeah I'd just go by your own doctor. Those guys know what to look for.
MyNameIsTerry
30-05-16, 04:45
I believe your GP was just saying "I can refer you for reassurance". If your GP truly saw anything of concern, you wouldn't be given the choice. It's sadly a lack of understanding in many of them where they don't know they should be stopping you going any further with this as it will only feed your reassurance-seeking cycles.
Even if you see a Dermatologist, it's likely your anxiety will find more doubts and it starts again. Think about it from a non HA person, like me. I would see my GP, be told it was nothing and unless I saw something that indicated otherwise (maybe something like a description on the NHS Choices website, a cancer medical or charity site or in their pictures perhaps) I would walk away not caring. In fact, if it were me I would never have been in the first place which will be the same for many non anxiety sufferers.
Well done for putting your foot down on your anxiety too. The NHS can't afford "reassurance testing" and it's good to see concern for them and other patients being taken into account in stopping your anxiety pushing you that way.
Hi Terry, exactly. I am trying so hard with this darn thing. The talking therapies had lost me again, whatever that means so ANOTHER nurse has now referred me. To me, my skin has always had freckles on, never ever given them a second thought, but since hearing and reading endless on melanoma I have allowed myself to become obsessed. If I allowed myself is probably find a loop hole on the net where women can get testicular cancer *joke*
I'm 90% I don't need to go and 10% wondering I could miss a chance for them to find something early but my skin is my skin and nothing to my knowledge has changed.
---------- Post added at 10:41 ---------- Previous post was at 10:41 ----------
It's the different types of freckles but it may have been you Terry who said you had weird shaped ones and always had?
MyNameIsTerry
30-05-16, 11:00
Yeah, I've got a couple of odd shaped ones. Had them since birth. And I've done sunbeds in my early twenties and still no change. :yesyes:
Oh, they are always dreaming up a new disease. We will have Internet something next. :winks:
That is so annoying, it happened to me. In my case it was my GP surgery not sending on the referral. So, it took 3 appointments with my GP to chase it up. Then they were pretty swift in starting the Guided Self Help.
One was self referral and the last one was a nurse. My most recent appointment was put through by a nurse who reassured me a lot (yet here I am). She was my age, and covered in freckles; 10x more than me! She said she'd never know if she got a new one. She had the variety on her skin even the freckles in freckles. I got an eye roll from her but playfully. I was fine for a good few weeks actually then I thought when on chest had changed (it hadn't) and I was triggered again. I'm not worried about in particular though just all or any of them.
Captain irrational
30-05-16, 12:35
I'm literally covered in freckles and moles of all different shapes and sizes (that's what Irish and Scottish genetics will do for you). So are nearly all of my extended family on both sides, and none of them have ever had any kind of skin cancer, let alone melanoma.
I'm fairly good at not obssessing over my moles these days. I give my body a quick look over once in while just to make sure nothing too strange is going on, but I will not allow myself to get into the habit of constantly checking every inch of my skin every day. It's pointless, it puts you deeper into an anxious state and just wastes time I could be spending living my life. The way I see it, melanoma is rare anyway, but if I was unfortunate enough to get it, I think it would be quite easy to tell the difference between a malignant mole and a normal mole. Yes I know you can always find scare stories online of people who had an innocent looking mole that turned out to be melanoma, but these are exceptional cases. The vast majority of the time, melanoma is very obvious and unmistakable.
MyNameIsTerry
30-05-16, 12:39
Well you've not been on here anywhere near as much as before so that surely says something? That's a positive.
Part of working through all this will always be about reasonable expectations so we don't put too much pressure on ourselves. Until you've gained more ground, you are bound to slip, we all did (and still do).
I'm literally covered in freckles and moles of all different shapes and sizes (that's what Irish and Scottish genetics will do for you). So are nearly all of my extended family on both sides, and none of them have ever had any kind of skin cancer, let alone melanoma.
I'm fairly good at not obssessing over my moles these days. I give my body a quick look over once in while just to make sure nothing too strange is going on, but I will not allow myself to get into the habit of constantly checking every inch of my skin every day. It's pointless, it puts you deeper into an anxious state and just wastes time I could be spending living my life. The way I see it, melanoma is rare anyway, but if I was unfortunate enough to get it, I think it would be quite easy to tell the difference between a malignant mole and a normal mole. Yes I know you can always find scare stories online of people who had an innocent looking mole that turned out to be melanoma, but these are exceptional cases. The vast majority of the time, melanoma is very obvious and unmistakable.
Excellent post, Captain! Good advice.
N.
I have sort of the same thing as you. My doctor said I had freckles in my eyes and trust me I got really scared. But now that I read off the internet and did lots of research, I'm not so scared anymore. Chance of a freckle turning into melanoma is like having a bowl of marbles, and every year pulling a marble out of 8000 of them. Pretty rare. Even if you are diagnosed, melanoma is super easy to beat. Most of the time the ones that are deadly are big or were never treated until they spread. As long as you are up to date with your dermatologist every year, you're fine. It takes around a year or two for them to become bad.
Edit: I read somewhere the chances of it turning into something bad were like 5 or 6 in a million. Crazy low. Go try the lottery before you get worried about your freckles. :D
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