Has anyone ever had a nervous breakdown? How did it feel and how long did it last?

[Tardisbrain]

I'm not sure if this is the right place, has anyone ever had a full blown nervous breakdown? As in a flip just been switched. Can you let me know how it felt and how long it lasted?

Thanks

[Carnation]

Yes, Tardisbrain.

I would imagine a vast amount of members on this Forum have.

Recovery can depend on the person's circumstances, lifestyle and triggers.

I remember as a child someone talking about a lady up the road and the neighbours asking what happened to her.
'Oh, she's had a nervous breakdown'.
She was back after 3 months.
Today, it is not referred to as a nervous breakdown, but that is basically what it is.
Recovery can also depend on what treatment you are getting and ongoing stress.

It is a sort of shutdown feeling. Not totally, otherwise you would be dead.
It can also affect people in different ways.

The main symptoms are;

Unexplained sharp pains in the body
Shivering and as well as hot flushes
Loss of appetite
Difficulty in daily tasks like washing and brushing teeth
Scared of going out, people and anything social.
Senses playing tricks on you and over sensitised.
Headaches and pains in the head, sometimes feel like ice-picks.
Blurred vision
Vibrating parts of the body, soreness to touch.
Feeling of insects crawling in side of you.
Problems with putting a sentence together to speak
Nightmares and hallucinations
Depression and suicidal thoughts
Excessive colds, coughs and viruses
Exhaustion
Insomnia
Heaviness of limbs
Dizziness and floating feeling
Depersonalization
Loss of hair, mouth ulcers and pimples on skin
Blood shot eyes
Bloated Stomach and excessive wind and burping
Acid reflux and nausea
Head rushes and feeling like there is something bad going to happen
Constant crying
Sharp pains in the chest
Unexplained rashes on the skin
Burning skin
High blood pressure
Chronic back pain
Paranoia
Outbursts of rage
Head sore to touch

Oh my, correct me anyone if I have missed anything out.

Some of these are anxiety and panic symptoms as well and if you recover, you can relapse, which has happened to me.

Does this help?

[Mojo61]

I also had palpitations, butterflies in the stomach and legs that felt like they were made of jelly.

[Tardisbrain]

Thanks carnation, I've spoken to you on another post too. I've read everything there is to read about it but it's the same old story of all the negatives. I understand that's because once people have got better they don't come back. I just feel that what I've experienced and still experiencing is similar to some people but not quite the same. It's been 3 months for me and although there are some changes I'm basically not able to live my life. I'm nothing like who I was a few months back, my life had basically been ripped away from me and I just don't believe I will ever feel like me again. I was stressed but I was happy. I have been diagnosed with aspergers however I think I've been misdiagnosed as those issues don't affect me now. I have ocd which is based on the safety of my children.....this makes things so much worse as I cannot be a proper mum which then triggers more of the bad thoughts. I really am suffering and it feels never ending. I've been scooting about this site for ages and I don't quite know what I'm looking for. I just want to get better, I want my kids to have their mum back and I don't want to be trapped in this nightmare and have symptoms 24/7 I don't want to change meds and I don't want to be scared of leaving my house. I've had enough.

---------- Post added at 17:38 ---------- Previous post was at 17:15 ----------

Ps, I have most of that plus this constant pressure feeling in my head and my ears constantly feel pressured also....like they are popping but not :( I almost feel hayfevery too. When you stand up too fast on a hot day and your head feels weird...that's what my head feels like all the time. My ears are really peeing me off

[Carnation]

Yep, I had the 'ears' thing too. Still have it occasionally.
I have strange popping noises coming from there and sometimes a trickling feeling and a few times I have gone deaf for a few seconds.
I do suffer with sinuses and hay fever, so that could be related to that.

You can get better Tardisbrain, I have been proof of that. :)

I also felt like you are feeling now. x

Have you having therapy?

---------- Post added at 18:03 ---------- Previous post was at 18:02 ----------

I also lost a stone and a half and was eating reasonable at the time. x

[Tardisbrain]

Yes my hearing goes in my right ear for a few seconds! I was convinced I had something wrong with my ears. How long did it take you to recover last time? I mean I know it probably took you a long time to fully recover but how long did it take for your worst symptoms to disappear and did it make you agoraphobic?

Yes, I had to wait 2 months before I got it on urgent. I've had 2 appointments with cpn so far and she's lovely. I have my first appointment with psychiatrist on Wed and my cpn is coming too. I only have a half an hour appointment though as they have tried to speed an appointment up. I've been on 20mg of flux for 8.4 days and they don't seem to be doing much. I'm petrified of meds as thats what caused this in the first place.

[Magic]

Yes, all that Carnation has said. One thing I will add is after I had my "breakdown"
is the response you get from other people.
Pull yourself together.
When are you starting back to work.
It took a while for me to feel better, and I still have the odd blip.
A real breakdown is not being able to get out of bed, and not eating and
like I said the same as Carnations list.

[Carnation]

Mine is in my right ear too.

I still suffer with the fear of big open spaces, but I just take my time and focus.
But, in the beginning I would cry at the thought and avoid!
Same with being in a car on a motorway or dual carriageway; basically going over 40 mph.

But, I have to add that I am under extreme stress with my Mum being poorly and being the only one to look after her. And in between that I have had other major pressures. I have had periods of a month or two where I have been ok and almost back to normal; whatever that is? :shrug:

In the end, you use whatever tools to get you through the day, learn as many coping skills as you can and adjust your life so that you have relaxation, eat well and build your life back. But this takes time. x

---------- Post added at 18:33 ---------- Previous post was at 18:31 ----------

Hi Magic. Yes, 'the bed'! It was my cocoon for months.

[Tardisbrain]

Magic, thanks. It took me 2 months to be able to get out of bed. I had to stay with my mums for weeks. I am able to stay out my bed now but it's not easy. I thought that after 3 months I'd be feeling somewhat better than I do.

Carnation, I understand that. My cpn says that it's an overload of stress that's caused this. Like I said I've had to give up my whole entire life because of this. I was so bad that I almost had to give custody of my children to their dad. I've brought them up to the age of 13 and 8 and now I can't look after them properly. I just can't come to terms with what's happened. It feels like I'm living in some sort of nightmare x

---------- Post added at 18:59 ---------- Previous post was at 18:58 ----------

I hope things pick up for you both soon x

[Carnation]

Tardisbrain, don't ever think you have to give up your children.
It will be your children that will keep you going. :)
You may think that you can not cope, but if you just leave out all the things that you do that are unnecessary, you CAN COPE.

Get as much help as you can. Don't be afraid to ask your family and friends.
Do whatever it takes to get you through this.
Most importantly, YOU are the priority. xx :hugs:

[Tardisbrain]

Carnation. All I can basically do right now is feed them (I have to get online shopping) or to the little store at my bit which is expensivery as I can't go out far now. And take my youngest to school. I am thankful that I am now able to talk to them most of the time but sometimes I can't concentrate. Both are needing a lot of support from me right now and I feel awful. My eldest is going through puberty and getting really angry and upset and my little boy is autistic and I'm his most important person. My boys are suffering hell because I am like this, they have to wait till their dad is off work so they can do stuff. I can literally take them a walk to the small park at my bit which they are bored of. For years we have tried to save to take the boys a hol abroad and eventually my family and I booked one for the 1st july and I'm gonna ruin everything. I am not sure how I will be able to go and if I don't my whole entire family will be leaving. I'm f*****d for better words :(

[Carnation]

Oh hun, I really do understand. The main things is that YOU get better or a step towards better. A lot can change in a month, even a week.
Cross the bridges when you come to them. I had to cancel to holidays when I was at my worse and I couldn't even get to who was dying.
It is more than awful and you get more and more depressed which in turn feeds the anxiety. You can't rush the healing process. You have to listen to what your body is telling you. It needs rest. It needs distraction and less worrying.
I didn't know your son was autistic, so I now understand how you are concerned.
There is a thread headed by Carolin and some of the members on that thread are in a similar position to you. You might to join in for extra advice. I'm on it too.
Once I have finished this I will post the thread name so you can look at it.
I also have to say that when I did go on holiday, my anxiety was at it's least, it was what I needed. To get away and have some fun. At home everything seems to cave in on you with responsibilities and jobs to do.
At least you joined this Forum, which has helped me get through this horrible time. x

---------- Post added at 19:55 ---------- Previous post was at 19:54 ----------

feeling down and alone (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=177548) x

[Tardisbrain]

Thanks you that's appreciated. I reckon I'm gonna have to go but I just wish diazepam worked for me. I can't stand the sun now as is affects my eyes and the heat my breathing. Just not sure how I'm meant to sit in an airport go on a plane to a foreign country that's busy as and hot when I can't even leave my house for long. I'm feeling so defeated :/

[Carolin]

Just wanted to say hello. As Carnation said, I too have an autistic son.
My world fell apart late last year, and I am still struggling.

There is a lot of extra pressure to be well when you have autism to deal with. I am my son's safe person , who is always there for him. I should have been hospitalised two weeks ago, but my caring duties stopped me getting the treatment I needed.

I defy any mum who cares for an autistic child/ adult, not to have some sort of mental health issues. It is relentless. However, I love him dearly, and he is the reason I keep going.

Be kind on yourself, remember you are still Mum, you just got ill, and most of all take all the support you can get.

Please pop onto my thread anytime. Lots of support and understanding . :hugs:.

[Tardisbrain]

Carolin thats really sweet and thank you. Yes it's a helpless feeling. Both my boys need me, 1 going through puberty and really angry and my youngest who has autism, he is more aspergers, he is the sweetest most kindest boy and he's just so out of place with me being ill. He's very teary and he's started talking like a baby. I'm allowing him to snuggle up in bed with me tonight as he used to a lot before I become unwell. Tonight is the first time in 3 months, I'm hoping he starts to feel a bit more secure if I do this....I know he's just turned 8 but I don't care, he's still my baby. :) thank you again and yes I will pop over to your thread tomorrow. Right now I'm gonna go snuggle with my boy and (fingers crossed) have a good night sleep. Best wishes x

[Carnation]

That was really nice of you Carolin. x

I jumped the gun a bit and should have checked with you first, so I apologise for that.
Tardisbrain seemed so at a lost today and I wanted her to feel like she was not alone.

With everything going on with you, it was very endearing to welcome her. :)

[pulisa]

I have 2 adult children on the spectrum and have been hospitalised twice but I have to say that I have always had an anxiety disorder-the autism management just sent it into overdrive.

I sense your huge fear of your symptoms, Tardis, but you are not going insane nor are you psychotic-you're just exhausted and terrified and you are responsible for your children which places a huge burden on you when you are feeling so vulnerable and ill. Make the most of your supportive CPN and psychiatrist and tell the psych everything tomorrow-if you can offload a bit and speak of your fears it may help lessen your emotional load and take the lid off that powder keg of adrenaline? x

[Tardisbrain]

It was very kind and thanks carnation. It's beautiful outside today, usually my most favourite weather but I can't deal with it now. Far too bright and hot :'( feeling trapped. I hope you have a better day x

---------- Post added at 09:22 ---------- Previous post was at 09:18 ----------

Thanks Pulisa. I'm extremely concerned about tomorrow because of meds. I jave wrote down everything I can to hand to the psych in case I forget anything. I had a better sleep last night but it's still broken and I fight to get up. If my head/face/ears/nose and weakness wasn't so bad I reckon I'd cope better x

[KatiePink]

Yes i believe i did - lasted about 2-3 months, many strange symptoms, and just generally the feeling that something flipped, something inside and it was constant crying for me, the inability to function or carry out normal tasks. Any stress at all would make me ill, i came down with a lot of infections and was extremely tired.

I think i am only just out of that, still dealing with anxiety but not how it was then x

[Carnation]

I was hoping that you would notice this thread Pulisa. x

Tardisbrain, Pulisa is an amazing lady that has been coping in a similar situation to you, so you now have two brilliant ladies you can relate with.

Support and good advice I think are major keys in surviving and coping. x

[Tardisbrain]

Katie, thanks for your input. It's all giving me hope that I can get better. Everyone seems to still be dealing with anxiety which is what I'm worried about. I've always been anxious and I could deal with it, it was just normal to me and I hope that's what everyone means by still dealing with it. I have had panic attacks years ago and some mild throughout the years that have not been too bad, but I've never had constant anxiety symptoms and that's what worries me.

Carnation, you are all so kind. I have spoke to Pulisa already on other forums and she has been very helpful. I'm still quite scatty and I'm not really sure what I'm trying to find out. Possibly just reassurance and advice. I don't feel so alone anymore and when I have really bad moments I just come on here x

[pulisa]

I've got a lot of experience with living in a constant anxiety state and it's quite unbearable when there is no "safe place" and no respite from the feeling of terror. You won't go mad though-the trick is managing the symptoms when you feel you are totally overwhelmed and just getting through each minute is an ordeal.

I don't take meds now but have in the past with mixed results. I don't think that they are essential for recovery but learning about how anxiety affects you and causes all these symptoms when you have "blown a fuse" certainly is. I find it very hard to function when I am at my worst but I know only I can find the strength to get through the day and I have always believed myself to be responsible for my mental health and won't make excuses for myself.

Good luck tomorrow-you can and will get through this xx

[Tardisbrain]

That's the thing though, I fully understand it. I'm just too exhausted and to a point where my cpn reckons I need to be on meds as a crutch to kick start my recovery. Life is very difficult and only 3 months ago I was almost the happiest I've been. I sometimes feel like I'm being punished. Right now I'm worrying about going out in the sun and collecting my son and going to the store for something for tea. I will do it and have done it everyday for a month but nothing is getting easier.

[pulisa]

It's very early days for you, Tardis. Don't expect too much of yourself. You are mentally exhausted and your emotional arousal level is high. It will take very little to trigger your symptoms. You are struggling to function but you are still going out and doing what you need to. My advice would be to keep going out come what may-once you start staying in you will really complicate things for your children and for yourself of course

[Tardisbrain]

It's just so difficult. My boys dad is picking us up soon and I'm gonna try going for a walk along the beach. It's really difficult because when my symptoms get worse ithan really affects my vision, hearing and breathing and I get so disorientated. I cannot even walk. People say stay till it passes and that exactly what I've been doing but it just keeps on coming back until I get exhausted, then I end up depressed for days and like I'm back to square 1.

[Carnation]

That's because your anxiety is high Tardisbrain.
We all have those feelings and it is very scary, but remember that they are only feelings, they can't harm you. Your brain is just protecting you making you aware of any dangers. Take your time, focus on a point to get to, distract with singing, whistling, humming. Have your phone in your hand, so that you feel safe.
Stop at points to recompose yourself and remember my words as you walk.
No harm will come to you, it is anxiety, it can not harm me and I will be ok. x

[Tardisbrain]

I will carnation thank you. He's still not here yet but I'm quite thankful as the sun is still really bright. Night time seems to be a little easier for me x