I have a big trip planned - anxious!

[helenhoo]

As mentioned previously i will be living abroad for a year, leaving end of 2016. I have many anxious thoughts varying from 'what if I die before then' to 'what if I get ill' 'what if someone I know gets Ill' I have been filling out medical questionnaires and feel Im jinxing myself by ticking no to most the health queries.

Sorry for the ramble just nervous today.

I have noticed I have had most freckles since forever but a few new ones over the years. New freckles are harmless right? Generally speaking?

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Also on my lymphoma worry too as my node feels up. I have just got rid of s cold and I had blood tests done few weeks back (normal. Why is it when we're feeling strong anxiety comes back stronger?

[ServerError]

I'm not going to comment specifically on your anxieties or mention any self-help techniques as I know they will be no good to you at this stage. What I would say is that, when I first came here, I was introduced to the concept of magical thinking, which I think is the name for the phenomenon of believing that because you think something or do something, it will have certain undesired outcomes - as if your thoughts have actual powers. I can tell you that you cannot jinx yourself by filling out a form. It doesn't mean you won't get ill, but it does mean that if you did, it would be a coincidence. You will not jinx yourself, no matter how much anxiety tries to make you think you could or will.

Secondly, as someone who's spent time living overseas, I can tell you it is an extremely worthwhile experience, so I hope you get everything you can out of it and are able to make some inroads into your anxiety before then. It would certainly be worth it.

As for your what ifs, I'm not sure any of us can really answer them. I ask myself those questions sometimes. It's horrible, but nobody can give me the answers I really want - "you won't get ill before you go away", "you'll be young and healthy forever and never die". We have to find a way to make peace with this. What if you do die before you go away? Do you ever really take that thought head on? Personally, as somebody of no faith, I take the view that I'll return to the state I was in before I was conceived/born, so it won't really matter. To quote a philosopher or writer who I can't quite remember: "I've been dead before and suffered not the slightest inconvenience from it". If you have a faith, well, I guess things only get better after you die! (I doubt you're the hell-bound type).

What I'm trying to say is that nobody can give you the answers you really want, but you can't let these worries destroy your experiences while you're here on Earth. I can't offer you any help beyond that.

[helenhoo]

Thanks server. I'm doing that nothing to be anxious about anxiety. You know that looking for something. It's been this way a few days now since it triggered. I realised I ok and then felt threatened by this sense of ease. I had to find something to worry about. Why do we do it?

[Lucinda07]

New freckles are harmless. I'm naturally pale & the sun brings them out (I find it hard to tan).
Before sophisticated sun creams came on the market, I occasionally got bad sunburn - especially when abroad. I am now middle aged and never had any problems with my skin - I don't expect to get skin Cancer and neither should you.:)

[helenhoo]

New freckles that stay? I don't think they're moles or lentigo solar things. A nurse said they were all freckles which assured me (for a week)

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Thank you :)

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I've said my worries out loud now and worry even more I'll attract bad energy to me. I've said touch wood that I'll be ok but man I'm freaking out.

[Lucinda07]

Yes, freckles that don't seem to fade. They give my skin some colour! I hate being pale.
The nurse knows what she is doing. Shoo those doubts away - they're telling you lies! (Not easy, I have doubts of my own but about different things!)

[helenhoo]

Thanks Lucinda.