Advice needed

[Becky2785]

Hi all I'm struggling at the moment suicdal obsessions these really bother me I no won't do anything but I get really scared when these thoughts are there I'm trying to just let them be but it's hard they are becoming more intense I work full time and it's hard but I'm not to bad at work. I woke I the night with really bad panic and the thoughts came flooding in

Any advice would be grateful
Does anyone else get these
Currently on 10mg of citalapram and starting telephone cbt on Wednesday

[Oosh]

I used to have thoughts about other things that would scare me. I think doubt and fear of loss of control were generally behind most of them.

YOURE in control. Don't doubt it, you are. Recognise the doubt trying to scare you. Recognise it as doubt. The presence of the thought doesn't mean anything. Make it just a simple thought again like all the other flotsam and jetsam that passes through your mind each day. Don't give it any more significance. It's doubt that's all. You're in control. Treat it with the disdain it deserves. It's been found out. It's just doubt trying to scare.

Once you see it for what it is it loses its power to scare you, it just becomes another thought and as a consequence has no reason to stick around anymore.

I've had a few of them about different things. "Oh that's just that". Mentally turn away from it and carry on.

[Becky2785]

I no I need to let them be but it's hard I've come home from work and cried my eyes out I'm that scared tomorrow is a new day so try my best to stop these thoughts

Thanks for ur reply x

[Mojo61]

You mustn't try to "stop" them Becky, let them come, in fact encourage them because it's not until the thoughts no longer bother you that they will go, so don't let them bother you just let them come and ignore them. The more you practice that the less they will bug you because they will lose their desired effect which is to shock and frighten.

[Becky2785]

I've had them about my kids and they seem to have gone it's just the suicidal ones they awful make u think that u want to do something and u question urself I will try my best to let them in
Thanks again xxx

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think doubt and fear of loss of control were generally behind most of them.

Whilst those are both involved in them I reckon it's also about what scares us most, the things that we fear more because of our morals & deeper beliefs. I've observed this in parents fearing about harming or abusing their children, teachers worried about harming pupils, people with links to coaching children that fear abusing them, etc.

I know in my own they were linked to a fear of harming my parents whether directly (physical), indirectly (Magical Thinking, must prevent an event) or by shaming them through directly harming someone else (arrest & jail, shame on the family). These are likely my deepest. Whilst I'm very much open to some "natural justice", it would shame my parents and that would be worse than an life sentence a judge could give me.

---------- Post added at 05:52 ---------- Previous post was at 05:49 ----------


You mustn't try to "stop" them Becky, let them come, in fact encourage them because it's not until the thoughts no longer bother you that they will go, so don't let them bother you just let them come and ignore them. The more you practice that the less they will bug you because they will lose their desired effect which is to shock and frighten.

Definitely, we can't. Studies prove all people can & do have them.

Supressing a thought mean telling mind to spend extra effort looking out for a scary thought that is a threat and needs stopping. False economy. We need to be diffusing irrational threats, not turning them into a new feared scenario.

The subconscious will only treat them the same as other irrational fears and it will also reinforce the original intrusive thoughts and likely make further associations making them even more complex. The result will likely be more anxiety and more work to free yourself from them later.

[Lucinda07]

Terry, may I enquire whether the fear of "shaming" your parents came after the unsolvable workplace troubles which caused you to leave?