Blip urghhh!

[Mojo61]

All was going well, had a few good days and then suddenly, wham, I'm back to feeling rotten. Anxious, sweaty, racing thoughts, insomnia. I hate this so much and at times like this I sometimes think I'll never get better!

Sorry for the rant - just feeling like crap this morning :weep:

[Carnation]

Don't feel despondent. :hugs:

It is known in recovery that this actually happens.
You have several good days, then possibly a bad one, until it becomes less and less.
So, don't think you are going backwards, it's just anxiety reminding you to take care and not over do things. x

[Mojo61]

Thanks Carnation. I've had a stressful few days and have some ongoing women's health issues too so I'm guessing it has all been playing on my mind a bit. I'm trying not to let it get to me and I'm carrying on with my day despite feeling like crap.

[sollythegolly]

I too am having a blip Mojo. Currently at day 45 of 20mg and for the last three days have felt very much the same as you.

At least you have acknowledged it as a blip and not a setback, so hopefully this will pass for us both. Hopefully the blip won't last much longer and you'll be back on track before you know it.

Stay strong.

[Mojo61]

Thank you. I practice a lot of CBT techniques and listen to Claire Weekes, that seems to help.

I hope we will both be back to good days again soon. xxx

[Suziewuzie]

Keep smiling Mojo!! It's just a bad day, you've had a stressful few days & it's just caught up with you, that's all. We're only human & we are always going to have bad days with anxiety, try not to overthink it xxx

[Mojo61]

Thanks Suzie, I'm trying hard not to be sidelined by it.

Are you still on 10mg? How are you finding that dose now?

[Suziewuzie]

Yes I'm still on 10mg. I am pretty much back to my old self now, I feel great! I don't know how much of that is due to the medication - it has been 4 months since this all began so it may well have just passed, the holiday may have helped and going back to work etc. I think all those things have contributed to my recovery more than the citalopram but it has definitely saved my life in that it gave me the strength to do those things in the first place.

[Mojo61]

Yes I'm still on 10mg. I am pretty much back to my old self now, I feel great! I don't know how much of that is due to the medication - it has been 4 months since this all began so it may well have just passed, the holiday may have helped and going back to work etc. I think all those things have contributed to my recovery more than the citalopram but it has definitely saved my life in that it gave me the strength to do those things in the first place.

That's great news, and very encouraging as I am only 2 months in and still struggling, although much better than I was. I'm hoping a few more weeks may see further improvement and that I won't need to increase.

I'm trying to follow my CBT techniques, getting out more and generally keeping myself busy so I don't have time to ponder on my anxiety symptoms and why I still have them. Mornings are still difficult, sometimes I find it very hard to get up and motivated. In fact I don't seem to have a lot of enthusiasm or energy at all but that may well be to do with the HRT patches I'm using which have caused non stop bleeding for over a month now. It is continuous 24/7 and I think it is draining me (sorry if tmi lol)

Would you mind me asking how bad you were before starting the citalopram and for how long you had been poorly?

[Victory2016]

That's great news, and very encouraging as I am only 2 months in and still struggling, although much better than I was. I'm hoping a few more weeks may see further improvement and that I won't need to increase.

I'm trying to follow my CBT techniques, getting out more and generally keeping myself busy so I don't have time to ponder on my anxiety symptoms and why I still have them. Mornings are still difficult, sometimes I find it very hard to get up and motivated. In fact I don't seem to have a lot of enthusiasm or energy at all but that may well be to do with the HRT patches I'm using which have caused non stop bleeding for over a month now. It is continuous 24/7 and I think it is draining me (sorry if tmi lol)

Would you mind me asking how bad you were before starting the citalopram and for how long you had been poorly?

Hi Mojo are you taking an iron supplement since you are bleeding continuously. If not I would get an iron panel and your ferritin level checked. You may need to supplement with iron until that stops. One symptom of low iron is no energy....:bighug1:

[Mojo61]

Yes I'm taking a multi vitamin with iron. I'm seriously considering paying for a private scan seeing as my Dr won't send me for one on the NHS

[Victory2016]

Multi's usually have a low amount of iron. At one point I was taking 3 tabs of 65mg of elemental iron daily as my levels were so low. There are websites where you can order your own blood work. I do it all the time. I use a site called My Med Lab. Not sure what countries they support. If they don't support your country do a google search and I am sure you will find one.

[Suziewuzie]

That's great news, and very encouraging as I am only 2 months in and still struggling, although much better than I was. I'm hoping a few more weeks may see further improvement and that I won't need to increase.

I'm trying to follow my CBT techniques, getting out more and generally keeping myself busy so I don't have time to ponder on my anxiety symptoms and why I still have them. Mornings are still difficult, sometimes I find it very hard to get up and motivated. In fact I don't seem to have a lot of enthusiasm or energy at all but that may well be to do with the HRT patches I'm using which have caused non stop bleeding for over a month now. It is continuous 24/7 and I think it is draining me (sorry if tmi lol)

Would you mind me asking how bad you were before starting the citalopram and for how long you had been poorly?

I'll try to keep it brief!
I got bad in January. In November / December I'd noticed I was having a few panic attacks and was feeling quite stressed - but I was fine. In January I asked my GP to prescribe me sertraline 'just in case' as that's what I'd taken previously for my anxiety, I didn't think I'd need it but just wanted it to hand.
I was in Asda with ny mum when I had an enormous panic attack, like I'd never had before. Normally they pass quite quickly but this lasted for hours & I couldn't settle and didn't feel safe anywhere - I was looking at myself in the mirror and I felt like it wasn't really me. It really frightened me & I started the sertraline right away.
The next morning, something inside me had flipped. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't face the world but I didn't know why. I was agitated & my heart was racing & I felt terrified but couldn't say what of. It all just spiralled from there - I didn't leave my flat for about a week, my boyfriend would leave for work and I'd just sit there all day shaking. I couldn't concentrate on books or TV so all I could do was sit there going round & round in circles in my head trying to make sense of my feelings. I became convinced I had bipolar or schizophrenia or something because I couldn't understand how anxiety could make me feel that way. I stopped talking to my friends or leaving my house because everything terrified me & led to panic attacks, I would just spend my day in a daze then go to bed at 6pm because I couldn't bare being awake - but I NEVER slept. After about 30 days of this, and 3 weeks of Citalopram, I got depressed. I moved house with my boyfriend & while I should have been excited I felt absolutely nothing. I sat in the delivery van, carried the bed upstairs and got in it. I didn't care about anything, it was like all the lights in my life had gone off. Other people around me had problems but I couldn't care because I was just in a bubble, miles away from everyone.
In the next month, I started making myself go out and do things - but I rarely enjoyed it. I got good at pretending I was OK then and acting like I was getting better, but I didn't feel it. After a while I just accepted this was my life now - looking OK on the outside and everyone thinking I was cured, but quietly struggling inside. I would walk round shops thinking "I need to get out" but I just learned to live with it.
I went back to work after 2 months because everyone kept telling me I was OK, and it was really hard. I cried a lot in the toilet and I woke every morning thinking "I can't do this" but again, I just accepted that was how I was going to live my life now.
Slowly, though, it all started to get better!
It's been 5 months now & I feel like my old self. I saw glimmers of my old self after about 3 months, but now I feel like I can say I'm better without worrying that I'm pushing my luck.