lottie59
07-06-16, 14:34
good afternoon - LONG POST Sorry but good one
I have not been on the site for many months and for some reason today I was drawn back (maybe out of curiosity) and as I started searching through the HA board I found myself looking at my profile and the posts that I had put up!
see my journey started in December 2014 when I discovered my sister had stage 4b colon cancer.. she started almost a year longs worth of chemo straight after surgery.. little did I know that ultimately that would kick start my HA.. fast forward to march/april 2015 and I witnessed the most horrific Road Traffic accident and that's when the panic attacks started.. I think the crash made me release my fear that I was holding onto.
I woke the next morning with searing pain in my breasts and without any rational thought process I convince myself I had breast cancer.. I slumped in the shower crying, breaking my heart that I was going to die and my husband and child would have to fend for them selves.. I went to the Dr and she of course told me - NO LUMPs and that the pain was cyclical.. still I didn't believe her and it took me 3 Drs to finally convince me that I didn't have breast cancer.
I went on to have colon cancer (which I was screened for), cervical cancer (which I had a smear and found high grade dyskaryosis- along with LLETZ treatment) oral cancer, skin cancer, blood cancer, heart failure, lung cancer and many more..
I was initially put on 50mg sertraline but after only 3/4 months I weaned myself of them and started to rationalise my fears.. I would have major meltdowns and panic attacks and my husband helped me a lot.. I started to use the method (if the area is still bothering me in a week then I will see my DR) that was hard especially when I was used to running for emergency appts!
then I decided instead of emergency appts I would book regular 6/8 week appts with my DR (it kinda reassured me that I knew in the not so far distance I would have that reassuring net to fall into) I of course cancelled the apt if it was not needed but occasionally I would go and have a chat and talk through how I was feeling.
I cut out alcohol almost completely and stopped smoking as I learnt that the booze was a trigger for my HA to rear..
I started taking back control.. I stopped checking every day (very hard!) I started gentle exercise, I started drinking more water, eating more fruit and veg.. when I did check and found something I would make an appointment to see DR but not emergency (normally it would disappear) and then I would cancel the appointment..
I made myself so ill with HA.. I had terrible glandular fever over the Christmas period for almost 5 weeks.. I had colds after colds.. I wasted nearly a year of my life and I pushed my husband away (thank fully we are fine)
I still have down days but I fight back..
I just wanted to say their can be hope for us all.. I have started enjoying the odd drink again and even a sneaky ciggerette! I know I am by no way as effected as others maybe on hear.. but you can come back from this..
please feel free to ask any questions.. if I can help in anyway I would love to (i'm sure I haven't really explained myself to well..)
love to you all
I have not been on the site for many months and for some reason today I was drawn back (maybe out of curiosity) and as I started searching through the HA board I found myself looking at my profile and the posts that I had put up!
see my journey started in December 2014 when I discovered my sister had stage 4b colon cancer.. she started almost a year longs worth of chemo straight after surgery.. little did I know that ultimately that would kick start my HA.. fast forward to march/april 2015 and I witnessed the most horrific Road Traffic accident and that's when the panic attacks started.. I think the crash made me release my fear that I was holding onto.
I woke the next morning with searing pain in my breasts and without any rational thought process I convince myself I had breast cancer.. I slumped in the shower crying, breaking my heart that I was going to die and my husband and child would have to fend for them selves.. I went to the Dr and she of course told me - NO LUMPs and that the pain was cyclical.. still I didn't believe her and it took me 3 Drs to finally convince me that I didn't have breast cancer.
I went on to have colon cancer (which I was screened for), cervical cancer (which I had a smear and found high grade dyskaryosis- along with LLETZ treatment) oral cancer, skin cancer, blood cancer, heart failure, lung cancer and many more..
I was initially put on 50mg sertraline but after only 3/4 months I weaned myself of them and started to rationalise my fears.. I would have major meltdowns and panic attacks and my husband helped me a lot.. I started to use the method (if the area is still bothering me in a week then I will see my DR) that was hard especially when I was used to running for emergency appts!
then I decided instead of emergency appts I would book regular 6/8 week appts with my DR (it kinda reassured me that I knew in the not so far distance I would have that reassuring net to fall into) I of course cancelled the apt if it was not needed but occasionally I would go and have a chat and talk through how I was feeling.
I cut out alcohol almost completely and stopped smoking as I learnt that the booze was a trigger for my HA to rear..
I started taking back control.. I stopped checking every day (very hard!) I started gentle exercise, I started drinking more water, eating more fruit and veg.. when I did check and found something I would make an appointment to see DR but not emergency (normally it would disappear) and then I would cancel the appointment..
I made myself so ill with HA.. I had terrible glandular fever over the Christmas period for almost 5 weeks.. I had colds after colds.. I wasted nearly a year of my life and I pushed my husband away (thank fully we are fine)
I still have down days but I fight back..
I just wanted to say their can be hope for us all.. I have started enjoying the odd drink again and even a sneaky ciggerette! I know I am by no way as effected as others maybe on hear.. but you can come back from this..
please feel free to ask any questions.. if I can help in anyway I would love to (i'm sure I haven't really explained myself to well..)
love to you all