Just can't seem to get over this

[KnightDay]

Hi everyone, this is the first post that I am making but have been reading through this forum for quite some time now.

I am 21 years old and a university student. My health anxiety all started last year.
I went to the doctor some time last year June and she was not my primary doctor and quite young. It was just for a check up. She spotted 2 suspicious moles on my skin. At the time I had no health anxiety but would describe myself as an anxious person by nature. However I never had anxiety issues with my health in the past.

I was referred immediately to a dermatologist and the following week I had an appointment. The dermatologist wanted the moles removed and biopsied. This is when I began to freak out because I didn't realise that it was that serious I thought he would just tell me that it's all good and you're too young to be worrying about this.

The waiting for the biopsy results were the worst. My anxiety seemed to amp up to another level to the point where I couldn't eat, sleep and it was during finals so that just made it so difficult for me to cope. I got the results back and they were clear. The dermatologist said go and enjoy life you have nothing to worry about.

That's when it all got worse. I thought that if something as simple as a mole could be something bad then what else is wrong with me that I don't know of.

Google became my worst enemy. Every little symptom I had I ran to the doctor. I'm from South Africa and don't have health insurance so the doctor's bills got quite expensive. I had a few trips to the er and was told its just a panic attack that I'm having and I couldn't believe that. After all that, that's when I decided I need help. I started seeing my psychologist and have been prescribed yelate. Been on it for a couple of months now already.

I've gotten better but still become anxious about my health. I'm having a couple of symptoms now and am trying to convince myself it is nothing sinister.
Is there any advice out there on how you cope with your health anxiety despite receiving help from a psychologist and being on medication?

I do not want to spiral back into the dark place I was before and I cannot say how much I would appreciate some advice. Xx

[Kayla1992]

I know how you feel. I'm 23 years old and have had a mole removed for a biopsy. That was scary for me as I lost my auntie to melanoma when she was 30.
I have had health anxiety for my whole life though and every day is a struggle for me to not fall into that black hole :(

Just take each day as it comes and don't forget there are plenty of people on here to talk to. It can be hard to talk about health anxiety to people who don't have it because they don't really understand.

I find it can helps me to write down my worries and try to look at them objectively.
try a few different techniques and see what works for you
Take care! x

[KnightDay]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your response. It's really difficult at times even with professional help. But this community seems to be very supportive and I am very happy about that.

Keep well Xx

[Sarita94]

Hi,
I am 21 too and my health anxiety also started with a 'false alarm' situation- I had just started uni and went to the doctors feeling tired, I thought my iron was probably low but now I realise it was realistically stress related. Anyway, long story short, I ended up being tested for leukaemia because my blood tests were out of whack. I have had every test possible and despite the bleak prognosis of dr Google, I am fine- it was a fluke. But this was enough to trigger panic attacks, dizzy spells and constant worry over my health.

I think staying away from Google is good advice for any sufferer of health anxiety- the Internet is a valuable tool but it can feed your demons too. I try and remember that the terrible outcomes make the headlines because they are the exception and not the rule.

It's interesting to hear about your moles- this is my current panick. I have a new dark mole that my GP is sending me to the derm for. It was melanoma awareness month last month too so I couldn't escape it- my grandmother (88) was just diagnosed with it too so now I am convinced. It is the cancer that seems most likely to affect young women (I also used tanning beds when I was 18 and pre-health anxiety) very stupid and I regret it every day. I don't know how I am going to get through the next few weeks until I see the derm.

I'm not on meds but I have seen a councillor who helped a bit. Generally I find it easier when I keep busy, when I'm at work or uni or engrossed in something, my mind finds it harder to concentrate on my health worries. That being said, I currently check my moles at least once an hour. Everyone asks me that once I have these moles checked, will I be okay? But I know that inevitably I will move onto some other fixation.

This is a horrible vicious cycle, I hope we will all find a way break it somehow xx

[KnightDay]

Yes I know that feeling and have been asked that question from others as well. It just jumps from one fixation to the next. It's difficult to break the cycle because in our minds it feels like the new symptom or worry just spells out the end for us.

What's most difficult for me to deal with is that my friends, family and even my boyfriend don't really understand why I'm having anxiety about my health. And often times makes me feel alone in the situation.

However it is comforting to know I'm not the only young person going through this. But I too truly hope that we can break the cycle.

[Sarita94]

My family find my health anxiety impossible to understand- for any 'normal' person it is difficult to see how a headache means a brain tumour, indigestion means stomach cancer etc.. But for me it seems so real! My boyfriend in particular finds it really frustrating, his brother who has downs syndrome had a cardiac arrest a few years ago and was diagnosed with cardiomyopthy (spelling?) The doctors said all immediate family should be tested for it, although thought it was most likely linked to his downs. My boyfriend refused the tests and this is as incomprehensible to me, as wanting every part of my body repeatedly checked is to him. How can he not want to know vs why would she want to know that?

I have booked to have my mole looked at privately before my NHS appointment as I can't stand the waiting and unknown. I've promised myself that if this mole scare turns out okay, I will get myself more help, I might even look at the medication my GP suggested - the thing is, I can have weeks or even months that are really good but then I get caught in a downward spiral.

[Danie57]

im 26 and have terrible health anxiety, like someone said before stay off google. thats the only thing that kind of helps.
i find this website actually helps because for instance my partner has no idea what im going through and its awful when people say just dont worry bcause you cant.