Struggling to cope with Partner that has OCD/Anxieties

[error17]

Hi Everyone,

Firstly, if this is in the incorrect forum, please move as appropriate.

My partner is suffering from what seems to be severe OCD in relation to children. We have a toddler and the other night she had a panic attack as she had highly violent images towards the little one.

My partner has been going to therapy sessions for around a year to help with depression and anxiety, but this is getting worse and to be quite frank, I do not know if I can cope with it as I suffer from mild depression too.

We cannot watch the same films (violence), TV programmes (violence), or even listen to music (lyrics about breakups and sadness) together. I am starting to fear leaving my partner with our child as my partner is saying that she doesn't know if she is capable of hurting the child. They have a great relationship, and the child is loved by both of us, but I am beginning to worry.

I have encouraged my partner to speak to their parents, work bosses and the doctors. Tablets have been prescribed and the therapy is still ongoing. I seem to get a daily call from my partner for re-assurance and guidance as to what is happening is something that they need to fight by employing a positive thought process, and recognition as to when the thoughts begin to manifest.

I am extremely unhappy and feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep advising the same things as there seems to be little effort to combat the issues from within on my partners account.
I'm sure this is not the case, but I am becoming frustrated with having to repeat the same things every day/week etc. My partner has become very distant.

I'm hoping that the relationship isn't beyond repair, but we have talked about that if we felt that we couldn't cope, we should talk about it.

Can anyone please help me? I am strong on the outside, but inside, I'm crumbling. I use my car journeys to and from work to have a cry but I feel so drained.

Thanks for reading.

[gatsby12]

What she needs to know about OCD is that any violent or sexual themes are egodystonic and the disorder is in general that way. She is no danger of harming anyone. She loves your kid so much that she its her nightmare for any harm to come to your child. The whole "I refuse to watch violent movies" sounds like avoidance and reassurance calls are a huge no because they both reinforce the cycle and feeding into OCD's cycle. I highly recommend she braces through it. She has to know that the more you endulge it the worse the disorder gets. The moment she realises that seeing things like violent movies or breaks ups does not equate to it I am sure that'll be her first big break.

[error17]

Thanks for the reply.

So is it a case of 'face your fears'?

I read on the various threads that the OCD is like a monster that lurks, and if you give it attention, then it will keep playing on your insecurities?

I've been advised that I need to carry on being as normal as I can, but my wind-downs tend to include TV, Films, Video Gaming, etc.

So, I have to wait until she goes to bed before I can watch things like Game of Thrones, and the like. We used to do those things together, but now she isolates herself, even if something is going on in the background on the TV that is fantasy or even in the news!

But I appreciate the response. I will address it with her and see where it goes.

[gatsby12]

Thanks for the reply.

So is it a case of 'face your fears'?

I read on the various threads that the OCD is like a monster that lurks, and if you give it attention, then it will keep playing on your insecurities?

I've been advised that I need to carry on being as normal as I can, but my wind-downs tend to include TV, Films, Video Gaming, etc.

So, I have to wait until she goes to bed before I can watch things like Game of Thrones, and the like. We used to do those things together, but now she isolates herself, even if something is going on in the background on the TV that is fantasy or even in the news!

But I appreciate the response. I will address it with her and see where it goes.

Yeah this is case of that. If she can sit through shows and see it then I think she'll be on the right track. OCD has this thing where thought equals threat rules. If she can trigger these violent thoughts and realise later that she didn't harm the little one then she'll be well on her way but OCD is one long forest and it takes a while to find your way out.