Fear losing control?

[1hopefulme]

Does anyone else ever fear losing control & hurting (or offing) yourself? I love my life, I fear death, but then every now and then when everything else seems fine I get terrified I will all the sudden lose control over myself and hurt myself. I hate it, it scares me to no end, and once it gets in my mind I have a hard time stopping thinking about it (until I go to sleep and then when I wake up the next day it's usually a distant memory unless I really think about it again). I feel like I'm nuts for feeling this way and I in no way want to actually end my life.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Does it just pop into your head? If so, it's an intrusive thought and there are themes in OCD around harm.

Anxiety has control issues and fear of uncertainty so it's likely many of us have worried about this, I know I have. But if it's intrusive, it's better defined and easier to explain as it's been so well researched.

[1hopefulme]

Wow, thank you SO much for sharing! In all the books and everything I've ready about anxiety and panic I had somehow never come across intrusive obsessive thoughts (which is EXACTLY what this is!). I'm reading up on it now and it is so nice to feel validated and like I'm not going to lose control just because of a few stupid thoughts. You've really made a difference for me tonight, thanks!

[MyNameIsTerry]

It was new on me when I went through it. Unless you've been exposed to anxiety that has led you to information about it, I doubt people know. Some of these types of thoughts can be misinterpreted because they can share themes of criminal offences e.g. harm-based thoughts, POCD, etc and even more serious mental health problems such as fear of schizophrenia.

Everybody can have intrusive thoughts, studies prove this, but with our symptom focussed minds (and how jump to conclusion so easily) we see them more easily and react badly to them.

You don't have to have OCD to have them but OCD can take the form of more intrusive themes. With it mostly being an OCD thing, OCD resources are best to understand it.

Here is a thread where I wrote a detailed response to someone about this. There are many such threads on the OCD board.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=184847

Please have a read because how you respond to these thoughts is partially the key to breaking free from them (as I have twice now).

I know what you mean about the sense of relief from finding out they are recognised as anxiety and that we won't act on them. I thought I was going crazy when my OCD came along but reading about it took the sting out. It was very unpleasant but at least I knew what it was & why.

This is one example where Google is a good thing. But stay closer to medical resources, OCD charities, etc so you get the best information. There is an especially good site by a licenced psychologist in the US called Steve Seay. He has wrote articles on all this and treats patients with it. I would highly recommend his site as it goes into detail I didn't often see on OCD charity websites.