Bad night

[Becky2785]

I ve had good week and yesterday was going ok until around 7ish but I tried to keep my mind occupied and had an early night. I woke up around 3 and omg thoughts was racing they was awful heart coming out my chest sweating dry mouth. In the end I sat in bed and just cried myself back to sleep.

It must be the tablets causing these horrible suicdel thoughts I've had them now for 3 weeks I have good and bad days. Does anyone have any advice plz I mean I have everything to live for and never want to do anything silly but I'm so frightened plz help
Becky x:weep::weep::weep:

[MyNameIsTerry]

The way I view it is if this only occurs when you start a med, it has to be the med. Either it's a side effect or it's an indirect one from raising anxiety levels much higher than normal. I think you would know if in the latter case your overall anxiety had greatly increased.

I know it's scary, Becky, but this is a very well known thing when it comes to intrusive thoughts and they absolutely cannot do anything to you or make you do anything either - you always have full decision making control. They are just scary and deeply unpleasant and all the physical symptoms make the whole experience even worse.

Try to work on areas that decrease your overall anxiety levels such as relaxation techniques, distraction, healthy stuff, etc. It takes time to work on stopping your reaction to these thoughts but you will get there. In the mean time you can work indirectly by reducing the overall anxiety because the higher that is, the more frequent & intense the intrusive thoughts, at least that's what quite a few of us OCDers on here say.

Your GP will be well aware of what intrusive thoughts are. These meds can also allow people to have suicidal thoughts so he/she will monitor you through it, if you stay on this med, but you are saying all the right things which indicate you are the total opposite of what these thoughts are saying. If you were very depressed and the thoughts were more conscious rather than intrusive, your GP may take a different approach but that really isn't how you describe yourself to us so I don't think that's a worry.

[Becky2785]

I've had a complete meltdown this morning I've made another appointment to see the gp this afternoon I feel I'm going out my mind I'm crying all the time I'm at work trying to focus but there still there in the back of my mind I just can't some with them and don't no what to do I just want someone to tell me what to do and that I will be ok it’s have to much to lose and the thought of it make me feel sick just want some help with it all x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well it will be ok, Becky. I know that one because I've been through intrusive thoughts and come out the other side of them, twice. I know how my OCD made me feel when it was severe and I thought I doomed, cursed for life with no chance of it getting even a little bit better BUT it did, it got a lot better.

These meds can hit your mood too. I never had low moods issues before starting on meds and starting the Cit made my mood crash (and the insomnia and issues eating added to it greatly).

If you really can't cope any longer, your GP might ease back on the dose (if you are on 20mg go back to 10mg, for instance) or a switch. They may also look at the time and want to keep trying to get you past that 4-6 weeks we often talk about on here.

It's hard, I know. Both times I started meds I was even worse for some time afterwards. None of us take it lightly, we just wish we could do something to help you.

[Becky2785]

I've been on 10 mg for 4 weeks today I've never really had low moods but I have now wanna go home from but scared of being alone just in case the doctor said I could swith to sertraline but I'm scared I feel the same on them

[Suziewuzie]

The first month really is horrible, I'd never suffered intrusive thoughts before starting these either. Like I said on the other thread I stopped taking them at day 30 because I couldn't stand it. My GP switched me to mirtazapine but I took one tablet and hated it then put myself back on the citalopram. In my experience Citalopram was much milder for side effects, and while Sertraline helped me a lot the first time I went on it I think if you're already hyper anxious the startup effects from Sert can be too much - the first time I went on it I wasn't too bad so I could be rational and tell myself it was just the med playing with my mind, but this time I was really anxious when I started the sertraline and it just made me go crazy to be honest, I legitimately wanted to section myself.
BUT - everyone is different and has very different experiences with these meds.

[Becky2785]

I feel loads better with the anxiety I only really get that now when the thoughts come in and sometimes don't get anxious when there there.my main problem is the thoughts when I'm not anxious it know I won't do anything and can be ok but when the thoughts really are bad I feel that I'm going to act them out its all about hanging myself not taking g tablets or jumping in front of cars just the hanging ive always been scared of death now it's all I think about xx