Wispa2675
16-06-16, 13:46
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and thought, hey I want to meet like minded people, to hear their stories and see if anyone has good things to say about cures instead of meds.
Here is my story and not sure if it helps but it may or may not and this is what I have understood over the years around what triggers me.
So I am 41, have a lovely partner, engaged and just recently moved house together and bought about 10mins away from my family, i.e. parents and brother and its a new build within a building site but a lovely house its causing me stress!
The house is quiet, nobody around, neighbours you cant see as only a few houses built and builders everywhere too as well as in the house. They are working on our snags since moving into a new build, to plumbers in and out, to the house vibrating daily because of the machines they are using whilst building the houses.
Now, I had what I can only describe as severe depression when I was 19, this was because I was going to University and leaving home for the first time, something that did not sit well with me, I didnt want to leave home and couldn't handle it, maybe couldn't handle officially growing up or taking on responsibilities, so basically stayed near home, went to Uni locally and made great friends, went to the gym, and enjoyed life depression went, a year later. I was still near my parents up to the age of 22.
Then when I was 23, I moved house with a partner at the time and we bought together and boy, panic attacks like I couldn't contain myself, I was bed ridden for about 3 - 6 months with it and left him and the house and stayed at the parents again. This man loved his drugs, was not honest and I could see through it by this making me nervous, so had to leave, it took me another year to sort myself out.
Now since then which was going back 18 years or so I havent really had a relapse to be honest and can safely say I didnt die, get ill, throw up or pass out I just ran alot of the times for safety more likely my parents house, just because it was home for over so many years and still is after 25 years, a long time.
Life was good after that, apart from a few dodgy men and dates, now I have met a lovely man, but since moving house a new build with the issues above, the drilling, the noise from 8am - 3pm every day is pretty much setting me off to a nervous state as well as my parents, but they are well, which is great, but I have this fear since taking ill when I reached 40, that its time to sort my life out as they may not be around for life and they may die soon...yes that was in my thoughts and still is daily....they are perfectly fine and still go away 3/4 times a year, dad is 73 this year, mum 69 and look like they are in their 60's! - but since hitting 40 its like gosh thats a big age, they may go soon....but my grandparents died in their 80's, so I am thinking get a grip here!! and I have no control of what happens around them too. Dad said to me, Joanna, you have to grow up soon we may not be around for much longer....:weep: thank you dad for sharing that uplifting news to set me off again to which he re worded lol.
What has helped me is the following and I wanted to share.
Chamomile tea and no coffee or tea which triggers so many things highs and lows, walking daily, exercise every other day when I can, yoga, hypnotherapy and listening to a meditation daily twice a day to calm my thoughts. Seeing friends, doing something everyday you love. Shopping, going to coffee shops, cycling outside, watching good films, cooking a nice dinner, something different every night, seeing family and on it goes. I now register this in my diary but also register the down days too. What can I achieve daily to make me happy.
I went to the theatre last night, it was over 3 hours long ,the last 30 minutes just about killed me but I survived and still enjoyed, I refused to let it beat me as my thoughts raced to the house again.
So I am aware, that when I was in my twenties it was at its worst, so I know I was ok then and I didnt die or throw up (another fear its brought on by) and I still did well in life. It is just a passing phase. I am hoping once the builders leave in 3 - 6 months time on the first phase of houses it should be quieter. Otherwise we are thinking of moving, so nothing is ever permanent in life that goes for health and living residency too, my partner has even agreed to that too...hes lovely!
Not sure if this helps or not but because of outside influences it always affects your health or nerves. I was picked on at school as well which made me nervous and very low self esteem of myself, still am as more creative than intelligent I think..lol or just feels that way! When I DO things which I love this kind of goes away and I think yes I am ok. When my partner teases me I do take it personally and feel he is taking the p out of me....hmm so I throw it back to him and he realises I am super sensitive.
My question I ask myself is, who has ever died from this, or what is the worst that is going to happen, ok so you go into a panic state, but drugs aren't the cure I have found nor is putting yourself through A and E, as nothing mentally is really wrong you just think you cant cope, but you always can as you are now? its more stress and severe form of anxiety as a coping mechanism you want safety so you go to a place of safety to help the stress stabilise. I also find any exercise eliminates it and eating well as well as looking good too, you feel good about yourself!
Sometimes we are perfectionists when leading this life, nobody really cares,only you so remember you are hurting yourself here, try and love yourself more, write down what you are good at, what are your positive traits too. This really helped me!
I am still stressed because of this house, as we speak but think ok why? the builders, its not feeling like home and its too big....so nobody is hurting me, nobody is near me, Im lonely, so talk to others, go to the gym, get out the house until you see your partner after work....so thats what I am going to do.
I know its baby steps but I am just about to go for CBT treatment at the doctors soon, as I have heard it works a treat, but meds I want to make sure I am not on as I feel it just pushes it away, numbs it, rather than getting you to deal with it or what is wrong.
I am highly sensitive, very nervous, not good around crowds and lack self esteem more so in relationships and friends. I have been battered a few time emotionally as feel people don't quite get me as I am so sensitive, but others accept me for who you are, so have them as friends .....its hard I know I have been there pretty much all my 30 years from school, to university, to partners and friends...but I think I am still doing well.
My mum is quite hard emotionally, but looks after me well more so practically when i was a child.... so I tend to feel rejected by her still, even when I had depression, my dad was the one I went to, nobody in the family has had depression just anxious i.e. my dad but his mum was depressed and maybe we are similar, not too sure there!
But anyway, what my point is, well depression/anxiety are a panic something you feel is out of your control like moving away from home, like moving house, even though my partner has taken over now and also a death of a loved one, all things we cant control but we can control our own thoughts, we are ok...we make ourselves more ill by being anxious more so, why do we torture ourselves?
Dont hate yourselves, well I have learnt to think that way, I feel I wasn't good enough, not intelligent enough well not enough of many things until I did tiny things slowly for myself which took away the Im useless feeling or fear something bad was going to happen, like what I would ask?
has anything bad happened to anyone though?
I have had to get rid of some people in my life as felt they were always judging in some ways, or asking why I didnt do certain things, so in the end felt stressed around them, I no longer need them in my life, its helped!
I haven told them this, just removed myself from meeting up with them.
hope this helps...:hugs: xx
Here is my story and not sure if it helps but it may or may not and this is what I have understood over the years around what triggers me.
So I am 41, have a lovely partner, engaged and just recently moved house together and bought about 10mins away from my family, i.e. parents and brother and its a new build within a building site but a lovely house its causing me stress!
The house is quiet, nobody around, neighbours you cant see as only a few houses built and builders everywhere too as well as in the house. They are working on our snags since moving into a new build, to plumbers in and out, to the house vibrating daily because of the machines they are using whilst building the houses.
Now, I had what I can only describe as severe depression when I was 19, this was because I was going to University and leaving home for the first time, something that did not sit well with me, I didnt want to leave home and couldn't handle it, maybe couldn't handle officially growing up or taking on responsibilities, so basically stayed near home, went to Uni locally and made great friends, went to the gym, and enjoyed life depression went, a year later. I was still near my parents up to the age of 22.
Then when I was 23, I moved house with a partner at the time and we bought together and boy, panic attacks like I couldn't contain myself, I was bed ridden for about 3 - 6 months with it and left him and the house and stayed at the parents again. This man loved his drugs, was not honest and I could see through it by this making me nervous, so had to leave, it took me another year to sort myself out.
Now since then which was going back 18 years or so I havent really had a relapse to be honest and can safely say I didnt die, get ill, throw up or pass out I just ran alot of the times for safety more likely my parents house, just because it was home for over so many years and still is after 25 years, a long time.
Life was good after that, apart from a few dodgy men and dates, now I have met a lovely man, but since moving house a new build with the issues above, the drilling, the noise from 8am - 3pm every day is pretty much setting me off to a nervous state as well as my parents, but they are well, which is great, but I have this fear since taking ill when I reached 40, that its time to sort my life out as they may not be around for life and they may die soon...yes that was in my thoughts and still is daily....they are perfectly fine and still go away 3/4 times a year, dad is 73 this year, mum 69 and look like they are in their 60's! - but since hitting 40 its like gosh thats a big age, they may go soon....but my grandparents died in their 80's, so I am thinking get a grip here!! and I have no control of what happens around them too. Dad said to me, Joanna, you have to grow up soon we may not be around for much longer....:weep: thank you dad for sharing that uplifting news to set me off again to which he re worded lol.
What has helped me is the following and I wanted to share.
Chamomile tea and no coffee or tea which triggers so many things highs and lows, walking daily, exercise every other day when I can, yoga, hypnotherapy and listening to a meditation daily twice a day to calm my thoughts. Seeing friends, doing something everyday you love. Shopping, going to coffee shops, cycling outside, watching good films, cooking a nice dinner, something different every night, seeing family and on it goes. I now register this in my diary but also register the down days too. What can I achieve daily to make me happy.
I went to the theatre last night, it was over 3 hours long ,the last 30 minutes just about killed me but I survived and still enjoyed, I refused to let it beat me as my thoughts raced to the house again.
So I am aware, that when I was in my twenties it was at its worst, so I know I was ok then and I didnt die or throw up (another fear its brought on by) and I still did well in life. It is just a passing phase. I am hoping once the builders leave in 3 - 6 months time on the first phase of houses it should be quieter. Otherwise we are thinking of moving, so nothing is ever permanent in life that goes for health and living residency too, my partner has even agreed to that too...hes lovely!
Not sure if this helps or not but because of outside influences it always affects your health or nerves. I was picked on at school as well which made me nervous and very low self esteem of myself, still am as more creative than intelligent I think..lol or just feels that way! When I DO things which I love this kind of goes away and I think yes I am ok. When my partner teases me I do take it personally and feel he is taking the p out of me....hmm so I throw it back to him and he realises I am super sensitive.
My question I ask myself is, who has ever died from this, or what is the worst that is going to happen, ok so you go into a panic state, but drugs aren't the cure I have found nor is putting yourself through A and E, as nothing mentally is really wrong you just think you cant cope, but you always can as you are now? its more stress and severe form of anxiety as a coping mechanism you want safety so you go to a place of safety to help the stress stabilise. I also find any exercise eliminates it and eating well as well as looking good too, you feel good about yourself!
Sometimes we are perfectionists when leading this life, nobody really cares,only you so remember you are hurting yourself here, try and love yourself more, write down what you are good at, what are your positive traits too. This really helped me!
I am still stressed because of this house, as we speak but think ok why? the builders, its not feeling like home and its too big....so nobody is hurting me, nobody is near me, Im lonely, so talk to others, go to the gym, get out the house until you see your partner after work....so thats what I am going to do.
I know its baby steps but I am just about to go for CBT treatment at the doctors soon, as I have heard it works a treat, but meds I want to make sure I am not on as I feel it just pushes it away, numbs it, rather than getting you to deal with it or what is wrong.
I am highly sensitive, very nervous, not good around crowds and lack self esteem more so in relationships and friends. I have been battered a few time emotionally as feel people don't quite get me as I am so sensitive, but others accept me for who you are, so have them as friends .....its hard I know I have been there pretty much all my 30 years from school, to university, to partners and friends...but I think I am still doing well.
My mum is quite hard emotionally, but looks after me well more so practically when i was a child.... so I tend to feel rejected by her still, even when I had depression, my dad was the one I went to, nobody in the family has had depression just anxious i.e. my dad but his mum was depressed and maybe we are similar, not too sure there!
But anyway, what my point is, well depression/anxiety are a panic something you feel is out of your control like moving away from home, like moving house, even though my partner has taken over now and also a death of a loved one, all things we cant control but we can control our own thoughts, we are ok...we make ourselves more ill by being anxious more so, why do we torture ourselves?
Dont hate yourselves, well I have learnt to think that way, I feel I wasn't good enough, not intelligent enough well not enough of many things until I did tiny things slowly for myself which took away the Im useless feeling or fear something bad was going to happen, like what I would ask?
has anything bad happened to anyone though?
I have had to get rid of some people in my life as felt they were always judging in some ways, or asking why I didnt do certain things, so in the end felt stressed around them, I no longer need them in my life, its helped!
I haven told them this, just removed myself from meeting up with them.
hope this helps...:hugs: xx