Seeing my therapist again - really anxious

[Under~The~Stars]

Hi folks,

Just needed to write all this down as have been feeling so anxious today, and I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight so wanted to pass some time, and get any advice.

I have an appointment tomorrow to see my therapist, who I haven't seen for 3 months. The reason for that is I was getting too attached, and he wanted to show me that I would be ok without him. It was very tough, but I have managed! :)

I feel really anxious tonight, and when I'm really anxious it always goes to my stomach, and then I panic as I think there's something really wrong with my stomach! I know that it's sore because of the anxiety, but it's still trying to convince myself, as I always need reassurance as it's always at the back of my mind - "but what if it's something else". So exhausting! :weep:

Anyway, because I was attached to my therapist before, I'm really scared that I just go back and it happens again as I'm already feeling that I'm attached and I haven't even seen him yet! :weep: I want to put a barrier up so that I don't get attached, but don't know how or what I would do??

I have been waiting for this day for such a long time - it has been tough not seeing him. But I really wanted to go back with a different way of thinking about things. I feel I coped really well and didn't think about him too much during the 3 months :blush: However, since this day has been getting closer I've been feeling attached again :weep:

And now that it's the day before, I've been feeling so anxious about it that I've been considering not going. However, I think I need to go. It would be a step backwards if I didn't go. I'm just scared that tomorrow comes, and it's time for me to go, and I can't go as I'm too anxious. Whenever I'm too anxious about things I back out and don't go. How can I push myself to go?

Any advice guys?

I really hope I can do this, and the anxiety doesn't get the better of me! :blush:

[Dying_Swan]

Hey Louise.

I'm afraid I have only just read this, so am guessing it's too late to offer you any advice! Did you go? How did you get on?

I saw my therapist for the 1st time in 4 months the other day. It's bizarre!

Anyway. Hope it went well. I'd be interested to know how it went.

xx

[Jimbo]

Hey Lou,

I missed this thread too somehow. I hope it all went well, and you are back safe and sound and having a good chill out now. :shades:

Jim :hugs:

[Under~The~Stars]

Hiya guys,

I went! :D And I'm back safe and sound LOL :D

I'm going to post a thread later on tonight about this - don't feel up to writing it all down just now - just need some time to relax.

The anxiety was really really bad today, but like I said I managed it and I'm home and I'm still alive!! :D

Will post later. Thanks you 2 for replying :hugs:

[nomorepanic]

Louise

Well done on going and coping

Hope you are feeling ok this evening?

[happyone]

Well.................Lou Honey


what can i say? I am late! I'll send you a pm (Cos you understand my drivel! Can't inflict it on everyone!)

You're a wee star!

happyone
xx

[Under~The~Stars]

Hiya guys,

Thanks for the replies :hugs:

I'm so exhausted tonight - been a very tough day, so will post more tomorrow :)

Nic, thankyou. I did go, and I coped with it - it was tough but I did it, and I have to try and remember that, and maybe it won't be as hard the next time (fingers crossed LOL :D ) I'm just feeling really confused about it all jut now, need some time for it all to sink in, as loads of things were said, my mind has been overloaded :wacko:

Nigel, thankyou for that. Thankyou, for all your kind words and help and advice in the past too :winks:

Happy, thankyou hunny!! I got your pm, and I've replied. However, I will warn you my mind is not working too well tonight so if it doesn't make sense that's my excuse LOL :D Can I get some toblerone for doing so well today? :yesyes: I actually bought some today LOL, and I think I deserve it! :yesyes: I thought of you when I was buying it ha ha! :D At least there was no trolley pinching today though! :roflmao:

Thanks again guys, and will post properly tomorrow. Need to go to bed now :hugs:

Take care all:)

[Under~The~Stars]

Hiya guys,

Just wanted to let you know how it went on Friday with my therapist.

Well, I managed to go, obviously! :yesyes:

It was very wierd seeing my therapist again, and it didn't feel real in a way. Everything was just a blur LOL :D It doesn't feel like I've actually been to see him again, I know I have been, but just feels wierd! Aw you know what I mean! :shrug: :yesyes:

He was very supportive, very caring, very enthusiastic that I would get better. However, it will take a long time, and a lot of hard work :weep:

I have loads of mixed emotions about the whole thing. In some ways I'm upset, in other ways I'm happy, but mostly I'm just confused :wacko:

I trust what he says, and I really believe he cares, so I think I'm best to give it a shot and hope for the best.

I have to admit I found it very hard being completely honest with him about things. I did try really hard though :shades:

We have made a contract where I will need to see him once a week to begin with, and if I need to see him more I can see him a maximum of 3 times a week. I will probably need to see him for no less than 2 years, as there are a lot of issues that I need to deal with. The difference with him and the psychologist I've been seeing are my psychologist was only dealing with the panic and anxiety that I have however, my therapist will be dealing with everything :wacko:

I feel sorry for him, bet he wishes he had never met me LOL :blush:

I just really hope I can start to get my life back on track now. I'm not going to lie it's going to be really tough, and I'm dreading it in a way, however, it will be worth it :) Won't it?

So much was said in the session, and it's tough trying to make sense of it all, suppose it will take time :shrug:

My thoughts are all over the place at the moment, so I'm sorry if none of this has made much sense :wacko:

Cheers for listening guys, and a special thanks to a few people (you know who you are :winks: )