View Full Version : freckles, please help.
Freaking about:
dark pacman freckle I've almost always had; colour and size not changed just not 100% about shape.
and
a handful of tiny almost black ones I have on legs. I read these are cancerous??????? I noticed it months back and it's not changed since :ohmy:
but they could be new or they couldve been there forever.
I'm dark featured and low risk but man I feel sick with worry.
(so sorry to keep posting)
countrygirl
18-06-16, 21:02
I have freckles that look almost black but I have had them for 20 years and they are def not cancerous.
Its sensible to keep a check on all moles/freckles/skin things but anything cancerous will grow/change/bleed/itch etc.
thanks countrygirl, it's positive that they haven't changed in three months isn't it? and fact i have three of identical ones?
i worry the pacman one has grown but not 110% sure. i think i found a pic last time i was worried (few months back) and it was same but cant find it now to calm self down.
no bleeding, itching. I have horrible fear when i imagine it or any becoming weird, big and patchy moley. :unsure:
x
We all hAve moles or freckles that change slightly as we get older since your at low risk, I think you will ok.
Thanks Dale.
I honestly wish this fear would go away. I had another anxiety that lasted agood three months and this is on same time scale. It's the visual image I get of a mole becoming weird OR being told my freckles are MM. I'm over checking them. If it's same size and colour i doubt it'd have changed shape dramatically without noticing right? I'm very sensitive when looking at it, doubting myself that it's always been funny shaped.
I had hoped you were doing much better Helen/Reb
Have you started therapy yet?
I was hypo! I was off for a good few weeks. Re-triggered because of one on arm, got over that one. Fine again, read an article that popped up on facebook about so so and their melanoma. I hate to make the comparision but it's what i imagine a drug user feels when offered drugs. It was fighting with self to skin check and i caved. Thats when i started doubting that my funky freckle has always been this way. and then if it's not this one, it's another.
I'm let down with myself. I hate google.
I had hoped you were doing much better Helen/Reb
Have you started therapy yet?
As well as Han099.... SSDD
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
19-06-16, 04:59
But since there is no Han099...I guess we should ignore that one, eh? :whistles:
These freckles are pin prick (1-2mm), symmetrical with no change since first logged few months back it's solely their colour that's worrying me. I read people saying 'black need checking asap!' :wacko:
Anyone have tiny dark dark freckles?
---------- Post added at 11:42 ---------- Previous post was at 11:27 ----------
it's only since reading that they're bad I'm worrying. I either need someone to say 'go get them looked' at or 'nah, i have similar ones.'
I can't tell if it's black or almost black. I was ok with it because I had a similar one side of leg and similar one on arm (i can see this one better and it's def dark brown) what if they're all bloody MM or one is? You realise I've given self life sentence.
---------- Post added at 12:56 ---------- Previous post was at 11:42 ----------
i'm sat here crying because my chap won't look at the other freckle to check it's colour. he's fair argument is that he won't feed my anxiety but i'm in a state of panic that one or both are cancerous and i'm just sat here crying watching love island and on forums.
as much as I annoy people here I annoy myself and family and friends more.
It's the internet. It's while I was worrying about another one I stared re-worrying about these.
ServerError
19-06-16, 20:02
What do you actually want from us? Think about it. What are you looking for from us? You say 'please help', but what help can we offer? You already know you're low risk for melanoma. What more can we say?
It's not the internet's fault. The problem is your reaction to the internet. Your compulsive need to Google, to check symptoms, to check images, it's all a symptom of the condition you do have.
Believe it or not, you don't irritate me. You just make me sad. I see a young girl descending deeper and deeper into a spiral and the only 'help' you ever ask for is on here. But what can we do? Right now, while you have my attention, what could I do to help you? Please answer without describing your freckles or anything you've seen on Google.
Please don't live your life like this. Find a way to start challenging this.
Why did you name change? Out of interest.
We all know who you are. Were you hoping we would think you were a brand new poster so you could have more time to post the same question over and over before people got bored?
You refuse to think about taking meds, saying you can do this on your own. I really do wish you would reconsider. I don't see how you can make good use of therapy when you are this unwell. You can't seem to answer questions without asking questions back about your freckles. Your replies are short then you repeat the question again, you won't allow us to help you in a way that is beneficial to you.
Most of us have been there ourselves and most of us had to fight really hard to get better and we fight every day to keep ourselves as well as we can be. We might fall down, but we pick ourselves up again because we fight. Until you find the fight we are no use to you.
Googling, asking the same questions over and over, changing your username, that's not fighting Reb.
Sorry this is such a persistent worry for you.
You're better off asking for ways to help you stop obsessing over it. You're trying to deal with a physical illness when your actual problem is mental. And you know that because you're here talking to us, so that's the way people here can help.
While reassurance is important it becomes unhealthy very quickly.
---------- Post added at 21:43 ---------- Previous post was at 21:39 ----------
I actually clicked on this because it's one of my issues too, I have frekkles on my face only but have gotten dark patches on my skin now and then that frreeeeeaked me out before, but they go away and it's never been a long term problem.
Hypo, I guess so yes. I have messaged Admin and another member privately. I use my mothers name in order to start again I guess and get taken seriously. This wasn't intended to dupe anybody in a 'nasty' way more so for myself to get other answers. It was childish and I am sorry.
Server, I want to stop the worrying I do. I go from freckle to freckle to freckle. I am reassured for a small amount of time. Even after seeing doctors and nurses who shrug off my skin like 'just freckles' I have the 'but i didn't show them this one' thought lingering. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to have a shower and want to check marks. I don't want to piss off family and friends. A few months back it was my skin. I was worried about my eyes and i thought that was the last thing I could possible worry about but nope. Skin. I was over this though, twice actually. Once for good and then that freaking article on Facebook triggered me off.
Surely you must understand the hold it has on me?
---------- Post added at 22:36 ---------- Previous post was at 22:35 ----------
that's not insinuating that nobody does understand, it's rhetorical.
ServerError
19-06-16, 22:54
I'll give you an honest answer to your question and say that these things we go through are subjective, so I can never truly understand how you feel. I had health anxiety but I never suffered the worst of the OCD aspect in that I never compulsively Googled or felt the need to monitor myself all the time. I did chase medical reassurance and tests, but in the end, this helped me. So I admit that I don't fully understand what you're going through.
However, I can certainly see the hold it's having on your life. That's why I say it makes me sad. You should be enjoying your life and your health. The article on Facebook is not to blame for how you feel. Blame lies with your condition, which causes you to react a certain way to that article. What you need to do is treat that condition.
I must ask again what you want from posting on here (and other places I've seen you post). Have you ever achieved true peace this way? Does this site really help you? This site certainly can be helpful. But nobody can give you the answers your OCD/anxiety is forcing you to seek. You have to challenge this thing. People can help, but nobody can help you if you don't begin that process yourself. You owe it to yourself to begin tackling this thing.
I simply cannot offer you any help beyond that.
You have to challenge this thing. People can help, but nobody can help you if you don't begin that process yourself. You owe it to yourself to begin tackling this thing.
Therein is the key for anyone looking for help. Words on a screen are just that unless you act on them. Having two account/user names here and another (han099) on other anxiety sites all asking the same questions and getting the same answers isn't helping, and many are just at a loss at this point thus the general lack of responses at this point :shrug:
Changing names and posting the same issues in order to get reassurance only serves to illustrate the severity of your situation. As Server said, it's not irritating or frustrating as much as it's just sad. All people want to do is see you get help and feel better and the bottom line is, the first steps are up to you.
Good luck and as always
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
20-06-16, 05:38
I find it strange that people are commenting on Reb using multiple forums when there admissions of doing the same, other than to persuade her to eliminate this as it's part of a cycle of reassurance. I've seen this on a few threads now by various members and I keep asking myself the question - how do YOU even know?
I do sometimes read on other forums but it's from Googling certain aspects of OCD mostly. It's always to understand an element of anxiety and not to obsess over a context of a cycle.
I have also recommended joining other forums to some on here because NMP doesn't cater to their needs. For instance, elements of OCD that should be common but because there is so little OCD discussion on the OCD board due to most OCDers being HA themed, yet on a dedicated OCD forum they will be one of many so can get better support & more responses.
Otherwise, I don't agree with multiple forum use. I certainly don't when it comes to HA as you will just be searching for others to confirm you are not the only one, to look if similar symptoms have been recovered from, etc ALL patterns of obsessive HA cycles.
So, I find it strange that we have members picking Reb up on this who are clearly surfing, and potentially joining, multiple forums themselves. It's a big internet, after all.
I can also understand changing the username, something that Admin are more than happy to do for any of us, and several members I know of have done just that. I can understand people losing their passwords and signing up rather than taking the correct route and mailing Admin to ask for a reset but decide to sign up again. Admin don't like that, but it's a minor thing really.
I recall Reb getting some unpleasant posts of a few members and only one of them apologised and that you, Hypo. So, I can understand a fresh start but normally people likely would just join another forum...although it seems they will be outed on multiple forums looking at some recent threads. I think Noivous said it best on one of Lockey's threads recently.
Really, did I expect that people telling others who were in a spiral was enough for them to get a handle on it and take a break from their obsessions? Maybe with some, but not all. I assumed some would log off and just suffer in silence or head for people in real life to satisfy the reassurance cycle. But I also suspected they just head for one of the many online anxiety forums out there, so I'm hardly surprised by this. Anyway, there are more members on NMP who have said they use more forums.
I've been through this myself on here. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, it's not good for your anxiety levels. I didn't appreciate comments popping up about me being someone else. And Reb was pretty obvious since she rejoined where she left off, so perhaps I'm willing to not care too much about the logistics of it all, so I think I will just see it for the anxiety issue it is and disregard the amateur sleuthing.
---------- Post added at 05:38 ---------- Previous post was at 05:34 ----------
You refuse to think about taking meds, saying you can do this on your own. I really do wish you would reconsider. I don't see how you can make good use of therapy when you are this unwell. You can't seem to answer questions without asking questions back about your freckles. Your replies are short then you repeat the question again, you won't allow us to help you in a way that is beneficial to you.
I disagree with this but for a specific reason only. Meds are a possibility but I see meds as needed more where the person cannot escape daily anxiety. Considering Reb says she has had a better period, I think that gives a therapist something to work with.
If anxiety can naturally reduce like that, a therapist can look towards why that happens and what retriggers these spirals. Meds may still be needed if Reb can't deal with this in therapy alone but it's encouraging that there is positive change...because my anxiety was 24/7 for many months into years, I couldn't calm it down so needed something stronger to force it down, hence meds seem appropriate then.
I guess since reading that very very dark freckles ae bad I’ve worried about ones I have. I have two/probably three very dark ones. Almost black. All identical with no change in thre mnths (kep track) I feel sick that these are cancerous.
ServerError
20-06-16, 12:33
Terry -
Personally, I know Reb visits other forums because it's been mentioned here. It doesn't bother me in any way, although it's another symptom of her condition. What I would say is that you clearly have some insight into what she's going through. She keeps asking for help, but what help is there here? She's had every symptom discussed and been reassured about various freckles and other things numerous times. I appreciate that her condition won't allow her to accept that reassurance, but how do we help in the meantime? The only reason I comment is that I want to help.
I feel for Reb. I've never seen anything like this but I have stated into my own abyss and pulled back from it through various forms of help. Long term, surely Reb has to begin working on the condition she does have rather than obsessing over ones she doesn't and probably never will?
Of course, it's how you get there that's the hard part.
I agree. I asked my friend who works in medical field and said that freckles are all various colours and normal to have a dark few.
And my last advice: please do not look for the answer in the internet. It has lots of knowledge but when you start looking, you always find the worst possibilities. Especially if its about diseases. Searching in the Internet about any disease you should know that every case and every person is very different.
Ironically found on the internet, but still.
I wish this darn freckle wasn't funky shape/jagged. It my always have been but I don't know. Anyone have similar? Just ease my mind.
MyNameIsTerry
22-06-16, 06:03
Terry -
Personally, I know Reb visits other forums because it's been mentioned here. It doesn't bother me in any way, although it's another symptom of her condition. What I would say is that you clearly have some insight into what she's going through. She keeps asking for help, but what help is there here? She's had every symptom discussed and been reassured about various freckles and other things numerous times. I appreciate that her condition won't allow her to accept that reassurance, but how do we help in the meantime? The only reason I comment is that I want to help.
I feel for Reb. I've never seen anything like this but I have stated into my own abyss and pulled back from it through various forms of help. Long term, surely Reb has to begin working on the condition she does have rather than obsessing over ones she doesn't and probably never will?
Of course, it's how you get there that's the hard part.
This is the really hard part because guess what? What help is there at her GP's? Other than the help she really needs to get her anxiety under control, the therapy & potential meds, all a GP can do is a have a quick look & listen and push her back out the door with a bit of the same reassurance we have given her here. Until she gets into therapy, whether meds are prescribed or not, a GP has a matter of minutes and it's pretty worthless with our problems so we are very much on our own.
That's one of the problems because unless there are forums like this, or even better the self help support groups face-to-face, where else is there for her to go other than to detach from other sufferers support and just keep suffering? Plenty of people leave forums like this and just keep suffering so the way I see it, it's better they are here if we can at least try to get them to accept the help they need. It's tricky since these places are full of triggers and reassurance, both defeat the object but I don't believe a sufferer detaches from their anxiety simply by leaving places like this behind.
There is a completely valid argument to the opposite that these forums make it worse and that real life help is needed. But where is the real life help? You have to wait months for that and some people have had to wait over a year for simple CBT that should be a few months.
The problem we have is that we can't stop the reassurance because unless we all work together, someone (me included) will always come along and undo it without realising. This is where face-to-face support groups work much better.
Something funny I noticed. I went to around 70 meetings and I never saw what I see on this HA board. For a start, there are two coordinators and they won't allow reassurance seeking. They are trained. They change the direction of the conversation towards "how could you change this" and away from anxiety symptoms. What is it about HA themes that are so different to the rest of us? There are plenty of OCD sufferers like myself who have no HA issues but we are equally prone to obsessive-compulsive cycles and the barriers to therapy. I'm really bad for ambivalence, getting stuck in ruts and moving forward slowly. The groups wouldn't always help me but they can be used in ways other than tackling things head on, like socialising and building your self confidence.
So, if a place like this is not the best, perhaps a guided group is the compromise? I really don't think people just not logging on makes their anxiety go away so us getting frustrated at times (not suggesting that in this thread) achieves little unless the person is one that appreciates a virtual slap.
Reb needs to get into that therapy. She has been messed about. She can complain and it may get moved forward, like mine was, but we know that's hard if your confidence is gone. She may need meds and she needs a GP she feels comfortable with due to the issues at the surgery so may need to switch (I've lost track of whether this has happened).
What can we do? That's tricky. But I'm pretty sure some of the things that go on aren't productive when they turn into arguments. I'm not saying that is happening here, it isn't, but it's common with repetitive posters. The irony is there are people saying much the same after years elsewhere on NMP and I don't see that same frustration in their threads.
The coordinators try to divert the conversion. They do this in OCD where reassurance seeking is an issue too, whereby the person who is approached will refuse to engage in the obsession by changing the subject. This is slightly different since it's a change from the anxiety whereas those coordinators where doing what many of us do here, like you are doing by asking questions aimed at getting Reb to think more rationally and concentrate on recovery rather than the context of the anxiety that is pointless. This is easy face-to-face, they can shut the conversation down and we can't do that here as we can't stop them posting.
I think these sites trigger it. I calm self down and then read posts about mole biopsies and then wonder if mine would need to be and if a derm would freak out at my freckle. I don't want to see one out of fear/time etc but i dont not want to see one in case I miss opportunity to find something. All freckles I have I've had for at least two years - forever with no noticeable change. As mentioned I've never looked for change as freckles are my skin and I'd never thought any different. I have so many funky freckles* But I'm dark, never had a blistering sunburn, no family history etc etc. This just lurks. I try. I do.
*freckles in freckles, splodges, oval, round, smudges.
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