So ill and not sure what to do!

[Shazamataz]

So I'm really ill. This started with a major panic attack in the night on Wednesday night. The anxiety has been fairly relentless since then and after 4 nights of almost no sleep I am desperately fighting the urge to vomit, have cold chills/hot sweats, ringing in my ears, need food but can't eat and feel super dehydrated despite drinking as much as I can including electrolyte drinks.


I've been on Mirtazapine about 4 months now and the panics had improved quite a bit but sleep was still an issue. I started melatonin a month ago and that initially helped with sleep a bit but I've still needed the zopiclone.

I was on diazepam at a constant low dose for months and 5 weeks ago started reducing as was feeling well enough mentally and physically to do this. Tapering off .5 mg a week (originally on 4 mg a day).

A week and a half ago I dropped to 1.5 mg and was expecting to feel a little bit edgy for a few days and then to settle but I ended up in a state exactly a week later (on Wednesday) and feel like I'm back to square one and am as ill as I was when I attempted SSRIs.

I live on my own which makes me more scared of being so ill. I have two dogs who need exercised. I managed to take them out on my own yesterday morning and a friend took us out in the afternoon but today I feel too ill.

I'm not going to reduce meds again or change anything but worried something in me has broken. Am feeling really desperate, not dangerously so, so no need to worry there, but I guess looking for reassurance of some kind.

There's little point contacting any medical people as I know they can't do anything other than rehydrate me.

Super scared :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Shaz,

I think when we come off meds and find ourselves spiralling we wonder whether something is broken so that we need to stay on meds. I had that experience that led to my relapse and when my time comes to withdraw again, this will be on my mind. People do get off meds and not need them again though. My dad spent 2 years with depression and on meds and 40+ years on he is still med free and has never suffered depression again. So, it can be done.

The lack of sleep, and with sleep being a major focus anyway, will be making you feel very rotten right now. It used to seriously get me down. When I was spiralling into my relapse, 8 days of that was the final straw for me so had to take some time. I don't mean this is the case for you, just that I know how much lack of sleep, and our perception of how we should feel or how we should be sleeping despite the fact our bodies truly can take it, but it can be making things seem a lot worse as you get little respite from any of the current anxiety.

With you tapering down off Diazepam, this could be the reason for this. It might be a case of reinstating a slightly higher dose for now and then trying again later when you are stabilised BUT I don't have experience of this so I would like to see some of the more clued up Benzo people on here advise you on this. People like dally. Maybe you could contact her, I'm sure she wouldn't mind, even if it's a request to look at your thread? People do that with me sometimes and it can seem a bit cheeky but she has already commented on your other thread about your reduction so I'm sure she won't mind, she's always very helpful to people.

[pulisa]

I just wanted to add my support for you at this very distressing time and to say that I agree with what Terry has said. You really need more advice on how benzo withdrawal can be so devastating even at the "benign" dose stage. Knowledge is power and speaking to someone who has been through it personally is so much better than consulting a medic who has text book experience only.

I sincerely hope things improve very soon.

[Shazamataz]

Thanks so much guys for the support, it does help if only a little.

I've just had a bit of a brainwave as to what is going on here.

After my big panic on Wednesday and seeing the GP on Thursday something else which has drastically changed is my sugar consumption. That was something we discussed as she said (and I already know) eating a lot of sugar can cause anxiety.

So I thought "I can stop that!" and I've gone from eating a whole 300gm bar of chocolate most days as well as sugar on cereal etc down to practically none. I'me probably having about 35 teaspoons of sugar less than I was (Mirtazapine makes you crave sugar it seems).

I looked up the symptoms and I have all of them so maybe that's something which is why this has continued so bad after the panic attack.

Who knows? However I've just found a little bit of drinking chocolate in the cupboard so will have a drink of that. Maybe I'm in double withdrawal!

I've also gone back to the 2 mg of diazepam for now and praying for some relief.

I even resorted to taking a quetiapine today to see if it would help even a little but nothing, made me feel more weird and therefore worse.

Hopefully a small dose of sugar will take the edge off!

[Beckybecks]

Sorry you're going through such a hard time right now and I can understand how difficult it is when you're alone.

Very interesting to read the reaction you've had to withdrawing sugar from your diet. I joined a popular weight loss club last year and my sister encouraged me to give up sugar. I had such a bad reaction with high anxiety and panic. After a week of hell I went back on to sugar and amazingly I began to felt better. I always thought it a bit strange though as I'd never heard anyone else having such a reaction to withdrawal from sugar.

Maybe the combination of the change in your medication together with stopping your sugar intake was too big a change for your system.

Go back to your chocolate I'd say :)

For me, any excuse for a chocolate works.....

[Shazamataz]

That's really interesting Becky about your reaction to stopping sugar!

I'm kind of grasping at straws as this setback started before stopping sugar but It MAY be the sugar that's kept things going.

I certainly don;t want to go back to how much I was eating but maybe not the cold turkey approach for a person attempting to recover from a nervous breakdown.

Unfortunately I've no chocolate in the house as was determined to resist and then by yesterday was feeling too awful to go to the shops anyway.

The nausea and chills have been terrible.

Hoping the wee dose i've just had helps.

Madness isn't it?!

---------- Post added at 22:00 ---------- Previous post was at 21:59 ----------

I actually feel more clear headed already after only half an hour!

[Beckybecks]

Your post led me to google "withdrawal from sugar" and it tells me that I was definitely suffering from just that. I had no idea it could happen and half thought it was just my mind. But it's all there in black and white. So no, don't try going cold turkey, rather do a gradual reduction.

And when you're feeling ill is not a good time, now is the time for chocolate!

Like you I'm stuck at home and have no chocolate in the cupboard either....:(

Glad you're feeling a bit better.

[MyNameIsTerry]

People giving up sugar go through a withdrawal. There are a couple of books by a woman who gave up sugar who explains how to do it. I remember reading a bit of it out of interest as it was in the book section at my local supermarket. She said a crash similar to depression is just part of how it goes and you have to persevere to the other side but in her "giving up sugar" type book she also tapered down first. I think she mentioned it made for a bad month.

Imagine combining that on top of an anxiety disorder if you don't have it well under control? Blood sugar levels certainly affect us, it's often mentioned in the guru type books.

I really would do things like this in a more separate manner. It will be hard getting off the Diazepam so do that in isolation from other withdrawals.

With the sugar, you can trade unhealthy for healthy first. Trade chocolate sugar for fruit sugar. Then reduce how much and how "high fructose" it is I.e. Some fruits are higher than others. That's the type of thing it mentioned in the book.

[Shazamataz]

Hi Guys, so I went to bed feeling a bit better last night after a wee bit if sugar intake. Managed to sleep a couple hours unassisted but woke feeling pretty anxious, took zopiclone (which I wonder if it's beome a problem but can't just stop it either!) and managed another 3.5 hours. Woke at 5.30 feeling ok and tried to talk myself into going back to sleep but then the anxiety tingle/waves and nausea started and kept getting worse.

Once again worried this mess is escalating and can;t see a way through it. No point contacting medical as they can't do anything except add venlafaxine which is what psychiatrist wanted to do a few weeks back. But that will just amp things up won't it?

Have a friend coming to take me and the dogs out this afternoon but considering dragging myself out this morning if only to prove to myself I can do it! Sitting around with all this adrenaline bouncing around just feeds it I think.

[dally]

Hi Shaz,
There is a good web page called Benzo buddies which is similar to NMP except just about addiction/withdrawal and recovery from Benzos.
Please be aware, every human being reacts differently to meds and withdrawal from meds. Some stories may worry you and others encourage you in your taper.
Try to keep an open mind.
Bottom line is, that no matter how difficult for some,. complete and successful Benzo withdrawal can be achieved.
The consensus is that slow tapering is the best way to do it.
I have also read many people's stories that taking/adjusting other meds (like SSRIs and antidepressant) doses can cause many weird symptoms. So it could be anything...including chocolate/sugar!
Try eating healthy sugar low FODMAPl foods (Google it) like bananas plain rice and chicken etc

Have you tried sleep/hypnotherapy downloads. These are effective, and help you not resorting to meds in the early hours.

I totally appreciate, you will not want to go out if you are feeling nauseated and sick, but a walk with the dogs may make you feel better and sitting in won't help anything.

[Mugs]

Hi Shaz
I hope you are feeling better.
I'm having a very rough time, seeing a new doc on Thursday. I pray he can come up with something to help me.
My sleep is poor, husband was sick but feeling better.
Mugs

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Shaz,

I would see how adding the sugar back in goes. If it helped then there is something to it. It may be piling far too much pressure on you with everything else. So, I think I would be wary of other changes until I knew if upping the sugar helps?

Given the Mirt, I wonder whether that introduces appetite increase that includes sugar too?

I'm glad you felt a bit better and I hope we hear you have rebalanced a bit today. It may mean a day or two getting your sugar levels back up?

Mugs, sorry to hear you are struggling too. :hugs::flowers: I hope your husband is ok too.

[Shazamataz]

Hi Shaz,

I would see how adding the sugar back in goes. If it helped then there is something to it. It may be piling far too much pressure on you with everything else. So, I think I would be wary of other changes until I knew if upping the sugar helps?

Given the Mirt, I wonder whether that introduces appetite increase that includes sugar too?

I'm glad you felt a bit better and I hope we hear you have rebalanced a bit today. It may mean a day or two getting your sugar levels back up?

Mugs, sorry to hear you are struggling too. :hugs::flowers: I hope your husband is ok too.

Hi Terry, I added a bit of sugar back in but still haven't felt up to eating much. Feeling very weird altogether and experiencing a new sensation of a significantly lower than normal (for me) heart rate. Was in bits today feeling like it was going to stop completely.

Maybe all that wishing for it to slow down in the past few months has actually made it happen!

[dally]

Hi Shaz
If you feel your blood sugar level affects you, then try foods/drinks that will stabilise blood sugar over a longer time. Is bananas. Google low GI foods OR LOW FOODMAP

[MyNameIsTerry]

Perhaps some of that is the sugar too? Hopefully someone will know. Certainly blood sugar levels are bound to affect things like HR but I can't say I know much about that.

I have always felt a bit better after something that ups my blood sugar. Tiredness is often a good sign of needing something I've found.