Bonnibelle
21-06-16, 11:34
I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder 4 years ago after I went through a traumatic time in my life, I lost my grandmother suddenly, I then was attacked by my brother and as a result lost my family (he is mentally unwell and I was resented for not forgiving him). This led me to feeling constantly anxious and agoraphobic. Things got much easier for me over time, I had CBT for 18 months and I was 80% recovered until last summer. My health suddenly deteriorated and by November last year I was bed bound with stress and hypothyroidism that my GP refused to treat. I am 4 weeks into treatment now and starting to feel better but the months of feeling unwell have taken their toll and led me back ont he anxiety path. Not as bad as I was in the past but enough to trouble me some days, other days i am perfectly fine.
For me what i am struggling with is symptoms that I can't believe anxiety is causing. So with my hypothyroidism I do have what I call 'crash days' where my energy slumps and I tire easily after over doing things so I have to have a restful day to recharge my batteries, but what happens on these crash days is that my anxiety increases. On the days I am less tired and feeling better, and can function then my anxiety is far less but the minute I crash and have a tired day WHAM the anxiety hits. It hits int he way of worrisome thoughts. 'What if I am going to be as ill as before?' 'What if this crash doesn't pass and I am bed bound for weeks again'. 'What if I end up in hospital if I become really unwell'. Those type of unhelpful thoughts, but on the days my crash has passed they aren't around. This really is frustrating because adding anxiety to the already tired body and mind makes my crash days feel much worse. I get frustrated with myself and think other people get ill but don't add constant anxiety to how they feel, it's no wonder I feel worse on my crash days. Instead of just thinking 'oh well today I feel exhausted and need to take it easy, I have had a busy few days and wore my body down', I add all the anxiety of why I feel so ill, what if thoughts too.
One thing I have noticed is on my crash days I end up feeling more physical symptoms as the days goes on, than the ones I woke with that made me notice I am in a crash day. So I wake and notice my legs feel weak, my body feels heavy, my head and body feel fatigued, and notice that is a crash day and I need to rest. I then shortly after being up and about getting the children to school I start adding all the what if thoughts. Then as the day goes on I start fearing how weak I feel, due to having some agoraphobia issues (mainly just around appointments and hospitals as I now go out shopping, driving etc again) I fear collapsing and ending up needing to stay in hospital, all because my ill health brought on my agoraphobia again as I was too unwell to go out for 6 months. So I can spend the day fearing collapsing due to how tired I am. I then notice my legs feel more weak as the day goes on, i feel more tired etc...
I spoke to a friend and she told my GAD can infact cause a lot of what i feel. I may wake up feeling in a mini crash (which thankfully are becoming less frequent since being on thyroxine) but I do still fear my crash days so anxiety can infact cause the physical symptoms I feel. I struggle to accept this because in my mind I have always experienced anxiety as either panic attacks when I had agoraphobia, so they hit when outdoors, or mental anxiety where I had intrusive thoughts back when my anxiety hit. I still have intrusive thoughts sometimes but they rarely worry me as I know they are anxiety. For me physical anxiety is not usually an issue unless I have a panic attack in a shop which hasnt' happened for a long time. But it's how I think physical anxiety is, you have the shakes, fast heart, sweating, dizzy, weakness in legs etc... all because you have that blast of adrenaline. My friend told me I was wrong and that you can have symptoms of anxiety without feeling the shakes and fast heart. Is this right? Do any of you daily feel anxiety symptoms minus the usual culprits, the shaking, fast heart etc... Can you really have weakness, fatigue, a general ill feeling from anxiety without the obvious symptoms? My friend said that what I am thinking of is an anxiety or panic attack, that causes the shakes, fast heart, dizziness... with general anxiety you don't necessarily have them.
My anxiety is general but I don't worry about money, bills or anything like that. My anxiety has been about my ill health, being ill was the trigger of course and it was genuine. But I worry about how I feel, what I am thinking, what does that mean if I think a bad thought, what if I get some horrific illness and die leaving my children, what if my children die... so yes I do worry about alot of things but not every day. In the last 7 months it's been about my ill health, and the feelings that has given me and how it made my anxiety return. My health is now improving, I still have some crash days here and there but on the whole I am getting there. It's a long road recovering from an underactive thyroid so I am told but I am no longer in bed daily feeling unwell, but on a crash day my anxiety spikes in the ways I have described.
Sorry for the ramble, I'd just like to know if others experience GAD like I do, it may help me to get over this concern I have about symptoms I experience and accept that it is just another way my anxiety is getting to me.
Thank you.
B
For me what i am struggling with is symptoms that I can't believe anxiety is causing. So with my hypothyroidism I do have what I call 'crash days' where my energy slumps and I tire easily after over doing things so I have to have a restful day to recharge my batteries, but what happens on these crash days is that my anxiety increases. On the days I am less tired and feeling better, and can function then my anxiety is far less but the minute I crash and have a tired day WHAM the anxiety hits. It hits int he way of worrisome thoughts. 'What if I am going to be as ill as before?' 'What if this crash doesn't pass and I am bed bound for weeks again'. 'What if I end up in hospital if I become really unwell'. Those type of unhelpful thoughts, but on the days my crash has passed they aren't around. This really is frustrating because adding anxiety to the already tired body and mind makes my crash days feel much worse. I get frustrated with myself and think other people get ill but don't add constant anxiety to how they feel, it's no wonder I feel worse on my crash days. Instead of just thinking 'oh well today I feel exhausted and need to take it easy, I have had a busy few days and wore my body down', I add all the anxiety of why I feel so ill, what if thoughts too.
One thing I have noticed is on my crash days I end up feeling more physical symptoms as the days goes on, than the ones I woke with that made me notice I am in a crash day. So I wake and notice my legs feel weak, my body feels heavy, my head and body feel fatigued, and notice that is a crash day and I need to rest. I then shortly after being up and about getting the children to school I start adding all the what if thoughts. Then as the day goes on I start fearing how weak I feel, due to having some agoraphobia issues (mainly just around appointments and hospitals as I now go out shopping, driving etc again) I fear collapsing and ending up needing to stay in hospital, all because my ill health brought on my agoraphobia again as I was too unwell to go out for 6 months. So I can spend the day fearing collapsing due to how tired I am. I then notice my legs feel more weak as the day goes on, i feel more tired etc...
I spoke to a friend and she told my GAD can infact cause a lot of what i feel. I may wake up feeling in a mini crash (which thankfully are becoming less frequent since being on thyroxine) but I do still fear my crash days so anxiety can infact cause the physical symptoms I feel. I struggle to accept this because in my mind I have always experienced anxiety as either panic attacks when I had agoraphobia, so they hit when outdoors, or mental anxiety where I had intrusive thoughts back when my anxiety hit. I still have intrusive thoughts sometimes but they rarely worry me as I know they are anxiety. For me physical anxiety is not usually an issue unless I have a panic attack in a shop which hasnt' happened for a long time. But it's how I think physical anxiety is, you have the shakes, fast heart, sweating, dizzy, weakness in legs etc... all because you have that blast of adrenaline. My friend told me I was wrong and that you can have symptoms of anxiety without feeling the shakes and fast heart. Is this right? Do any of you daily feel anxiety symptoms minus the usual culprits, the shaking, fast heart etc... Can you really have weakness, fatigue, a general ill feeling from anxiety without the obvious symptoms? My friend said that what I am thinking of is an anxiety or panic attack, that causes the shakes, fast heart, dizziness... with general anxiety you don't necessarily have them.
My anxiety is general but I don't worry about money, bills or anything like that. My anxiety has been about my ill health, being ill was the trigger of course and it was genuine. But I worry about how I feel, what I am thinking, what does that mean if I think a bad thought, what if I get some horrific illness and die leaving my children, what if my children die... so yes I do worry about alot of things but not every day. In the last 7 months it's been about my ill health, and the feelings that has given me and how it made my anxiety return. My health is now improving, I still have some crash days here and there but on the whole I am getting there. It's a long road recovering from an underactive thyroid so I am told but I am no longer in bed daily feeling unwell, but on a crash day my anxiety spikes in the ways I have described.
Sorry for the ramble, I'd just like to know if others experience GAD like I do, it may help me to get over this concern I have about symptoms I experience and accept that it is just another way my anxiety is getting to me.
Thank you.
B