Sunshine111
21-06-16, 21:26
Hi. I'm new here and posting because I have absolutely no one I can talk to about this who understands. I'm a mother of three. My health anxiety started a little over two years ago. I've always been an anxious person and while never officially diagnosed with anything I definitely have an anxiety disorder that I've spent years and years hiding from everyone. I do not come from a supportive family who are understanding about mental health issues at all. Two years ago I felt a lump in my breast and spent months having invasive testing. All came back relatively normal so they were just monitoring me. I was supposed to put it out of my mind and come back every three months while checking for new lumps. Well the health anxiety was born. I became completely obsessed and was terrified. It literally ruined my life. The thought of leaving my children motherless left me unable to sleep eat and function but I had to hide it from everyone. So fast forward and now I'm obsessed with new things. Last month I was convinced i had a cancer again and was back to obsessively checking over and over all. Day. Long. Before that it was ovarian cancer. Basically it's always cancer I obsess over. I try desperately not to google. Now I have a swollen gland on one side of my neck and one tonsil is swollen. I know logically of course that it is probably tonsillitis and I've had these exact symptoms before and been fine. But of course I googled and became convinced i have lymphoma. I am switching doctors because I have a very not understanding gp. The new dr came highly recommended but did not have any openings until late July. So I wait. I do plan to discuss with him my health anxiety. It's so embarrassing to me. I come from a medical family (a lot of Drs in the family) and know just enough about health issues to know too much but not enough to really understand any of it if that makes sense.
I feel like this is slowly taking over my life. I want so badly to be able to not have these obsessive thoughts. It has affected my relationship with my
Kids and husband and I feel like I can't enjoy my life anymore. I would like very much to find a helpful counselor or therapist but how do I do that? And what do I look for in a therapist so I can find someone helpful? My life this past year has been extremely stressful for many reasons and I feel like this health anxiety thing is some bizarre illogical bad coping mechanism I've developed. The worse things are in my life, the more obsessed and anxious I get. I almost feel like i can manufacture symptoms. Like my child had swollen glands and I was worried about it and next thing you know now I do.
Is there anyone who can relate? Please share any positive strategies you've used that have helped. Thanks for listening.
I feel like this is slowly taking over my life. I want so badly to be able to not have these obsessive thoughts. It has affected my relationship with my
Kids and husband and I feel like I can't enjoy my life anymore. I would like very much to find a helpful counselor or therapist but how do I do that? And what do I look for in a therapist so I can find someone helpful? My life this past year has been extremely stressful for many reasons and I feel like this health anxiety thing is some bizarre illogical bad coping mechanism I've developed. The worse things are in my life, the more obsessed and anxious I get. I almost feel like i can manufacture symptoms. Like my child had swollen glands and I was worried about it and next thing you know now I do.
Is there anyone who can relate? Please share any positive strategies you've used that have helped. Thanks for listening.