100 days googling/medical books free

[Pootle77]

Hi everyone :)

Tonight I will reach a milestone I never thought possible...100 days googling/medical book reading free....totally.

It hasn't been easy, but I just want people to know that it is possible. My health anxiety is severe and I was spending up to 8 hours a day googling stuff. Since going cold turkey with it, I have found that my general feeling of constant fear has reduced loads...probably because I am not scaring the living daylights out of myself.

I still obsess and check loads, but hopefully I will be able to tackle that next.

For anyone thinking about doing the same, I also stopped coming on here, as to me that would have been the same as googling symptoms. I am only here to post this and am not allowing myself to read any other threads.

Just wanted to share it, as no one else will know how much of an achievement this is for me....and also, may give hope to others.

xx Pootle77

[MyNameIsTerry]

Massive achievement, well done!!!:yesyes::yahoo:

It's great that you are celebrating this too, giving the subconscious some reward and firmly reminding it that this has happened and it's a good thing.

And you're right, you will tackle the next compulsion. That's exactly how my OCD compulsions went, ditching them one by one.

[NancyW]

That's wonderful!
Reading your post jogged my memory about reading medical books

I started reading them when I was really young. My mom had gotten a series of medical books one at a time from the grocery store, you know like we used to be able to get silverware or plates based on how much we spent..

I would hide and read them, or wait until she was outside then devour them. I don't remember what I was looking up, that's many years ago, but it has me wondering, did I do this to myself?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Do you find that now, when the urge to Google or read those books comes along, that in your mind you also get a sort of intuitive subconscious "no, I don't need to do that" and then the thought changes to whatever is next? I found that with mine.

I found the same with beating intrusive thoughts too. And I think this is something important to realise, that you have now retrained your subconscious to follow up with something that doesn't push for the compulsion but stops it. I see this as like how someone who has never suffered anxiety would deal with their intrusive thoughts, when they wouldn't realise they are having them, except that I remain aware of the process because I have noticed it by going through it in the anxious phase.

I hope more people take time to recognise your achievements in this thread as opposed to concentrating on the negative aspects of anxiety.

[Shazamataz]

I'd say that's something to celebrate! :yahoo:

The more we focus on what worries us the worse the anxiety gets but it's often easier said than done.

Keep up the good work!

[unsure_about_this]

I wish I could do this, and stop checking myself as much. I done a lot better this year but still could make room for im[rpve,mts as for checking myself it is still obscess about worrying about the big c (even though I been checked out) I still worry a couple of weeks later. I only been to GP once this year so far but would go every day if I could

[Fishmanpa]

Great post! Congrats for having the inner fortitude to take the necessary steps toward healing :yesyes: I hope others are inspired and follow your footsteps!

Positive thoughts

[Pootle77]

Thank you everyone :)

I too wonder if I developed health anxiety after reading the families medical books. I remember constantly reading about all the bad and especially, a piece on how cancer mutates. I can recall thinking "nothing can control it" and now, cancer is usually my biggest worry.

I think I already had a lot of foundations to develop HA...family history of ocd, very nervous child, insecurely attached, bad experience at a hospital, multiple traumas...so I guess I was probably always going to struggle with anxiety...I just wonder whether it got hooked into HA, from all that early medical reading. Who knows?

I find that now I rarely think about googling, unless a new symptom pops up and then it is still really hard. However, I can now see that googling never really helped because even if I found something reassuring, I would continue to search until I found something bad. Also, as the days mounted up, I became more determined to not break it and have to start again.

Plus I use an awful lot less data on my phone ;)

Anyone thinking of trying it...there is a free app I used on apple called I quit.

---------- Post added at 13:10 ---------- Previous post was at 13:08 ----------

Oh and I also made sure I thought of giving it up as forever....no "just one google" or "I'll google after a month". No this is permanent. Even if my health anxiety goes away, I would never ever google a symptom again as I will probably only ever be one click away from a full relapse. If I have a problem, that is what drs are there for. I have to learn to retrust them again. They have the degree, I do not. (That is still very hard to say, but I think its the only way)