I don't usually get so down

[davidthegnome]

For some odd reason, I am feeling very depressed today - and I almost never really get all that depressed. Just today I feel so frustrated with my anxiety, so tired and sad... so sick and tired of being sick and tired. People keep telling me that if I do this, or do that, I'll feel better... and I have no bloody clue who to listen to. I seem to be spending most of my days here because you all know what you're talking about, does that make sense? Our realities, in some ways, are similar.

I'm just feeling so down today, I've tried so many things to get better and I don't seem able to make it. Is this how my life is going to stay? This can't be as good as it gets. I wake up every morning feeling like a drum, hollow, detached, numb, spaced out... and I fight myself over whether or not I want to take a lorazepam, yet it seems I always get anxious enough that I need one at some point in the morning.

The rest of my time I seem to be here, on the forum talking to people or playing games... I have no life, it's pathetic. I'm twenty-two years old, I should be out going to school, or working, or making friends, but I'm stuck in this rut of anxiety and fear and I'm so tired of it. Tired of being afraid of everything, especially of myself. I never know if I'm going to go nuts, or all of a sudden get sick - and I seem to worry about everything constantly. As much as I want to turn off this bloody worry and anxiety, it just doesn't want to go away.

Now on top of it I'm starting to feel really depressed. I've struggled really hard to stay positive but today I'm really down. I saw my therapist and he offered advice and such... but I don't believe therapy is helping me feel better. The only thing that seems to work are the meds, and I don't like taking them.

Sorry all, I know I'm kind of ranting on random subjects.

As I've been reading the forum today, I just got hit with so much sadness, it's almost unbearable, and I can't cry. I think about everyone here, the things we suffer with, how so few in the medical community would take us seriously, how so few people even amongst Doctors understand it at all.

I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired and I want to crawl under a rock and hide for a few centuries.


Dave

[Piglet]

Aww David - I have nothing to say that's clever as I feel abit woolly tonight, so will a hug do for now.

(((David)))

Piglet :flowers:

[nomorepanic]

Dave

I feel for you but you need to take control and do something.

Only you can cure this and do the stuff you need to.

[happyone]

Dave, hy hunny
tell well meaning peope who have not a clue 'blah blah blah!' the only person to listen to is you!



I have no life, it's pathetic.
Pants! You do have a life. You just can't see it hun! It is there, just beyond the end of that sentence! You are a lovely person who cares deeply and you have a wonderul life just waiting for you. Trust me, this time will pass.
Happyone
xx

[honeybee]

Just today I feel so frustrated with my anxiety, so tired and sad... so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I seem to be spending most of my days here because you all know what you're talking about, does that make sense?

Is this how my life is going to stay?

I have no life, it's pathetic. I'm twenty-two years old, I should be out going to school, or working, or making friends, but I'm stuck in this rut of anxiety and fear and I'm so tired of it. Tired of being afraid of everything, especially of myself.

I seem to worry about everything constantly.

now on top of it I'm starting to feel really depressed. I've struggled really hard to stay positive but today I'm really down.


Dave

hello hun. i'm 21 and feel the same as you.. not normally depresed.. should be out building a career, making friends, partying etc..

it's so hard sometimes.. but we just need to push on.. we all have bad days.. we all spend a lot of the time fed up.. obviously its gonna get to us, it'd get to anyone who'd go through it.. but we are still so young, we have are whole lives ahead of us..

as i said i don't really get depressed and i truely believe things will get better, even though i sometimes wonder why, i still believe everything happens for a reason, even if it takes us years to figure it out.. you have to believe things will get better.. faith is a very powerful tool..

sometimes i wonder if chatting to everyone on here is doing me any good, even though it's great knowing there's people out there that understand and im not knocking the site at all but i do wonder if it just makes it easier for me to feel sorry for myself??? i dunno...

the feeling of being stuck in a rut is horrible... i think about all the thinghs i'm gonna miss out on if i dont 'sort myself out' for example holidays abroad (OMG a very scary thought.. especially since my boyfriend really really wants to go, GULP :sofa: ) having kids, building a career, learning to drive (i was so so so close to passing my test when i started having panic attacks) so so so many things... suppose instaed of looking at it as a negative just need to look at it as an incentive instead..

anyway, now im babbling on...

sending ya a huge hug...

[davidthegnome]

Thank you all for your kind words and for the hugs. :)

I am feeling somewhat better now, not sure what brought that on for me. I ended up lying in bed for like an hour not wanting to move or do anything at all, feeling sorry for myself. Then I just told myself to get up, said I wasn't going to give in, and I got back to living my life. Maybe Eddy Murphy helped too, Beverly Hills Cop 2 always makes me laugh.

I think part of my problem is that I haven't been excercising for the past five or six days, haven't been doing much at all really. It's time for me to start doing things again. I guess it's really about doing what needs to be done despite the anxiety and it's symptoms. If I have to force myself, well, I'll just force myself. This will pass sooner or later.

Thank you all. :hugs: For everyone

God Bless you all and have a great night

Dave

[Jimbo]

As I've been reading the forum today, I just got hit with so much sadness, it's almost unbearable, and I can't cry. I think about everyone here, the things we suffer with, how so few in the medical community would take us seriously, how so few people even amongst Doctors understand it at all.

I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired and I want to crawl under a rock and hide for a few centuries.

Hey that was me last night too. I think it was that 'can't cry' post that finally did it for me too.

I came on here, let it all out, and felt a bit better.

Hope you are sleeping well now. :winks:

Jim

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Dave,

Glad you are feeling better. If you regularly exercise and stop that could make you feel down. Try and keep to a routine and that will help.

Hugs,

Laura

[Keitharcher]

David

I think that you have to start small and grow from there. Tomorrow vow to do one new thing interests you build it up make it an event in your life, look forward to doing it, even if its only going to the local shop and getting a paper. Once youve done it reflect on it, accept that you have achieved something, it will make you feel good. The following day do something else

Keith