TheMadOladCoger
24-06-16, 14:31
Hello,
It's been a while since my new bout of worry set in about my future. I am currently still in the same position as I was 6 weeks ago, low on confidence and a little bit lost.
I don't think I will succeed, I have my eyes on a prize at the moment. When I say succeed I don't mean I want to make millions nor do I want to just be someone that has their work and nothing more. I want to be comfortable. I want to be about to finish University get the job I am aiming for which is perfectly reasonable. The job is a Graduate Teaching Assistant at my University, so it is aimed at people like myself a graduate there is 20 positions available. However, I can't shake the thought that has consumed me since my crisis of confidence 'I will not even be given a chance to get this job'. I see this job as my golden goose, its perfect for me it's local to my girlfriend and I meaning we wouldn't need to consider moving. It's a two year contract meaning I have something I think I need in my life stability. It also givens me the chance to become something I want to become, it gives me the chance to help others and to build on my own skills.
I have taken steps, I am working with a charity that is funding a project in my city. This project is big and I have the position of head of digital media a position I was given down to the boss not knowing what to do with me so make nothing up basically. I have applied to be a mentor for disadvantaged children which would be a massive help if I got it. But even with the two things I have listed I still feel as if I'm doomed to fail. I keep being told 'it will all work out in the end' and all I can think is 'it won't, it never has and never will' I feel as if I'm unlucky in life that I can't seem to get a brake. I feel as if I'm doomed to fail and now I don't know what else I can do. I have taken steps but all I can't think of is 'I have failed before I have tried'
peace
It's been a while since my new bout of worry set in about my future. I am currently still in the same position as I was 6 weeks ago, low on confidence and a little bit lost.
I don't think I will succeed, I have my eyes on a prize at the moment. When I say succeed I don't mean I want to make millions nor do I want to just be someone that has their work and nothing more. I want to be comfortable. I want to be about to finish University get the job I am aiming for which is perfectly reasonable. The job is a Graduate Teaching Assistant at my University, so it is aimed at people like myself a graduate there is 20 positions available. However, I can't shake the thought that has consumed me since my crisis of confidence 'I will not even be given a chance to get this job'. I see this job as my golden goose, its perfect for me it's local to my girlfriend and I meaning we wouldn't need to consider moving. It's a two year contract meaning I have something I think I need in my life stability. It also givens me the chance to become something I want to become, it gives me the chance to help others and to build on my own skills.
I have taken steps, I am working with a charity that is funding a project in my city. This project is big and I have the position of head of digital media a position I was given down to the boss not knowing what to do with me so make nothing up basically. I have applied to be a mentor for disadvantaged children which would be a massive help if I got it. But even with the two things I have listed I still feel as if I'm doomed to fail. I keep being told 'it will all work out in the end' and all I can think is 'it won't, it never has and never will' I feel as if I'm unlucky in life that I can't seem to get a brake. I feel as if I'm doomed to fail and now I don't know what else I can do. I have taken steps but all I can't think of is 'I have failed before I have tried'
peace