Too much too soon?

[Debs21uk]

Hi,

Just thought I'd update on my progress with upping my citalopram. After 8 weeks I'm now on 35mg of citalopram and only in the last few days have I felt a bit of an improvement. My mood is still up and down but I've been able to face seeing people, popping out to the shops and even driving on my own which I seem to get anxiety with when I'm depressed. So although I have a constant, Impatient desire to be well right this instance I am slowly getting there. I'm not having the best day today as in my small improvement I thought I'll take my mum to a family wedding reception however I woke up with anxiety and talking about it meant I ended up in tears. I'm guessing in my couple of good days I got a bit overexcited and bit off more than I can chew. My mood isn't great as I feel a bit disappointed in myself but again I need to be realistic, too much too soon brings on stress which doesn't help the depression! Has anyone else dome too much too soon to the same effect? X

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Debs,

The things is, Debs, you have got lots of positives and only one negative. We tend to dwell on the negatives and the thing is, the fight or flight process is our survival system so it takes negatives very seriously. To that process, it's found a new animal to be afraid of so it works fast to ensure we are safe again in the future.

Positive/neutral are a slower process because we can live with or without them. This is why it takes time to change our subconscious.

Recovery is never a smooth process, it's going to be a serious of many lessons learnt. We just adjust where we move to fast or take on something too big. Chop it up into micro goals and you will soon get there.

I wouldn't say I have as much taken on too much as been forced to but the result was the same, too much too soon.

[Debs21uk]

Thank for that Terry, I think it's the pursuit of wanting to be well NOW is making me push myself too much. I even gave myself a hard time the next day because I didn't manage to go, I've only just realised how hard I am on myself. I study part time and through my studies I got consecutively 90% for 3 assessments but I still was saying I could have done better!

This bout of depression has been quite bad meaning I haven't been able to go to work so I've had pressure from my job about when to go back but I don't think they have a clue how I'm not just a bit sad but it's knocked my confidence too with the anxiety. I of all people want to get back but I need a bit longer to get back on my feet plus their pressure isn't helping my stress levels.

Had two big positives yesterday, I went out for dinner with family and managed to drive quite a distance with the support of my dad. That was really massive for me and yes I was anxious and it felt really out my comfort zone but the wee voice that usually says "you should be able to do this, it's no big achievement" was silenced.

Great to hear your words of wisdom :hugs: