View Full Version : I want to hurt my pets.
No easy way of expressing this, and I've never shared this information with anyone so all opinions and advice are welcomed. Good or bad.
For as long as I can remember, I always have thoughts of harming my pets. I'm an animal lover, I like watching rescue shows, I gave up eating meat when I was 12, and I get angry over any incident where animals are harmed, but I, myself, want to harm animals. I don't understand these thoughts and where they come from. I use to have two birds. I currently have three turtles and a puppy, and I love them with all my heart. They literally give my life meaning. But I can't shake these disturbing thoughts. While playing or sitting with them, all I can think about is how easy it would be for me to hurt or even kill them. I sometimes picture myself doing it and it's even a little joyful. It's ****ing sick and I hate myself for it. Sometimes I get a really strong urge and I'll have to walk away from them before I act out my thoughts.
For the record, I've never actually hurt any of my pets.
Please please please. Tell me what you think.
Hi , these are intrusive thoughts a lot of us get them but they are only thoughts , they obviously disturb you so it's not something you are going to act on , I get these at times about people I love and I have had them about my dogs well dog now I recently lost one , the thought of doing somthing so bad realy upsets me and used to think maybe one day I would act upon it but I don't it's part of anxiety , I can't tell you how to stop the thoughts but you just have to pass it off as a thought and don't give it to much attention , you are not alone in this , take care .
I agree with Buster. They are intrusive thoughts. You are actually making yourself have them. So long as you don't actually harm them you just need to work on your anxiety issues.
You should talk to your doctor about your intrusive thoughts and ask if they can get you some kind of support to help you beat them. Are you seeing any kind of therapist at the moment?
Thank you everyone. I've never heard of intrusive thoughts. Is there something that provokes them? Aside from anxiety?
I don't really go to the doctor and never seen a therapist. I don't think I could ever talk about this out loud.
MyNameIsTerry
24-06-16, 23:00
I'll post some more later when I have more time but in the meantime some of this might explain it:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=184847
remember your pets' are counting on you to care for them and provide them with love. When you do have bad thoughts, do walk away and try to do something that will calm you down. Thoughts can just appear and sometimes are out of our control, you know if you did act on them you will feel bad later. I had a horrible accident happen, I didn't have bad thoughts, it was a total accident and one of my pets' died- 1 1/2 years later I still feel if only I could have her back and redo that moment it happened, it just adds to my depression. Since then, I fear something will happen to my pets and when I'm mad, I worry I may harm one (by accident, no thoughts telling me) but just have to remember it's my anxiety, not something I would want to happen. Do seek help.
Again. Thank you all so much. Is it weird that their cuteness just makes me want to hurt them more?. I just got my puppy a few days ago, and her innocence and vulnerability makes It worse. I'm seriously disgusted with myself.
How do I go about seeksing help? I have so many other twisted tendencies, but I'm too embarrassed to talk about it.
MyNameIsTerry
25-06-16, 05:00
When you do have bad thoughts, do walk away and try to do something that will calm you down.
That's avoidance though and it will only strengthen the disorder. They say to do the exact opposite of this in therapy but obviously it is approached in the correct way through structured exposures. It may be needed at the time when anxiety is at it's worst but long term this can't be the action, it's a compulsion and needs to be stopped to resolve the obsession.
It's like hiding the knives out of fear of hurting someone. That just tells the subconscious that there is a valid reason for doing it. So, it makes associations between those knives and the thoughts and how they equal a bigger, more varied threat.
So if I was to talk to a doctor, what do I say?
georgewing
25-06-16, 06:12
Intrusive thoughts causeb by your anxiety .You must breath depth and when they come to your mind ,say that are only some distructive thoughts and tell them to leave from your mind .Also use some positive meditation at night and also relaxation tehniques because it helps your mind and body also
MyNameIsTerry
25-06-16, 06:52
Again. Thank you all so much. Is it weird that their cuteness just makes me want to hurt them more?. I just got my puppy a few days ago, and her innocence and vulnerability makes It worse. I'm seriously disgusted with myself.
How do I go about seeksing help? I have so many other twisted tendencies, but I'm too embarrassed to talk about it.
Intrusive thoughts are classed as "ego dystonic" which means the opposite of true character, true beliefs. So, try to see this as anxiety picking what you care about most in order to create the biggest shock from you. That's all it is.
I've had them as someone with OCD and I've beaten them twice now. I've spoken to many other sufferers on here who have them and there has always been that fundamental fact that it is the total opposite of the people they are.
For instance, many POCD suffers are parents. They have intrusive thoughts to harm or sexually abuse their new born babies or children. Yet they totally love their kids and would do anything for them. Doesn't it make sense that targeting their children in this would evoke the most powerful negative reaction of fear in them? That's how intrusive thoughts work.
Some with POCD have been teachers, some youth workers of some kind, but the deep moral beliefs around children were all there in these people.
You demonstrated that you have a great love for animals & nature. You deplore them being harmed. So, why would you deplore other people but believe it ok for you to harm them? You don't, you are reacting with anxiety & fear to these thoughts which proves they are the opposite of your true nature.
Yes, it makes even more sense that you zero in on more vulnerable animals. That's again the nature of these thoughts because the more vulnerable, the more abhorrent it would be. Does that make sense?
So, what is happening is that these intrusive thoughts are being checked against your deep morals and they are failing the checks to say they are right so these thoughts bounce off to your conscious mind to ask what should be done with them because it can't find an answer. You react with horror which tells the subconscious mind that these thoughts are valid in some way so should keep happening. If you reacted with nothing, the subconscious would see that too and over a period of time stop bothering generating them. That is a fact because that's how we break free of them.
Please don't worry about discussing your worries on here. The OCD board has many threads about sexual abuse, physical harm, religion, bestiality, incense, etc in intrusive thoughts. You won't be judged by anyone.
---------- Post added at 06:48 ---------- Previous post was at 06:47 ----------
Intrusive thoughts causeb by your anxiety .You must breath depth and when they come to your mind ,say that are only some distructive thoughts and tell them to leave from your mind .Also use some positive meditation at night and also relaxation tehniques because it helps your mind and body also
Please ignore this spammer trying to sell his "cures".
Don't push thoughts away, it is counter productive as some studies have shown.
---------- Post added at 06:52 ---------- Previous post was at 06:48 ----------
So if I was to talk to a doctor, what do I say?
Just tell them that you are having intrusive thoughts. This is a well known element of OCD. You don't have to have OCD to have them, all human beings have been proven to have them without truly realising it.
Any doctor should understand this but ideally you want a therapist. Therapists are well aware of all this and therapies such as CBT work on them well.
Mindfulness is also a great tool to learn with things like this as it will help you to not react negatively, which in turn makes them go away.
If you want a really good resource to understand this in the US, Google Steve Seay. He is a licenced psychologist who treats OCD, including these themes, and his online articles are excellent at explaining what this is all is. You could even take that with you to see a doctor if you worried about getting the issue across.
Have a look on the OCD board too. Virtually every thread since I joined here has been about intrusive thoughts.
If you want to hurt your pets, then either get admitted to a mental hospital, or give your pets to a friend or a home.
Usually i am understanding and dont judge, but right now i am MORE CONCERNED about the WELL BEING of the innocent pets who have done NOTHING WRONG, than you.
If you continue to have thoughts about hurting them, then SEND THEM TO A HOME, and then come on here and we will happily chat to you and try to help
Sorry to sound mean, but poor innocent animals are VERY important to me and have JUST AS MUCH RIGHT to be alive and treated well, as humans do!
:mad: :mad: :mad:
^^ While I don't think giving someone a lecture on one person's moral stance is the answer (as genuinely noble and worthy as that moral stance is), I again urge the OP to go to their doctor. Advise them:
* You're having intrusive thoughts about harming your pets.
* These thoughts create impulses which you have to actively resist.
* The thoughts bring you some pleasure.
* You don't want to hurt your animals and want help to overcome these thoughts.
Don't panic; don't be afraid; don't freak out, just because I asked you to get help. But it's important you tell the doctor all four of the points above without skipping them. Any reasonable doctor will try to help you.
However, since some people might overreact to what you tell them, I would recommend confiding in a friend or family member and taking them along for support rather than going alone. Some doctors might try to lecture you as the previous poster did. All this is going to do is waste your time and probably make you feel worse. If they start getting obstructive, say:
"I have come to you because I believe I've got a problem with intrusive thoughts. I have asked for your help. Please direct me onto someone who can give me this help as soon as possible."
This is why you need a witness. A doctor is probably more likely to help, and less likely spend an hour whining at you, with someone watching.
I would also recommend ringing the Samaritans tonight and venting your feelings to them. You don't have to be suicidal, or immediately desperate, to call the Samaritans - quite a few people don't realise this and actively try to put people off from calling them (I guess not everyone can have a good IQ). Call them tonight and get these feelings out of you.
^^ While I don't think giving someone a lecture on one person's moral stance is the answer (as genuinely noble and worthy as that moral stance is),
I dont judge
but i am sick of hearing about animal cruelty justified by ``the person couldnt control themself / didnt know any better``
i am DELIGHTED and more than happy to help the OP, i would be happy to
but while there is a risk of the poor animals being hurt, i am insisting on the animals being taken to a safer place,
THEN i am happy to sympathise with the OP and help the OP
I respect your opinion. Nobody wants animals to be hurt. But someone who is in distress because of their thoughts, and comes here for help, doesn't want to hear this:
Usually i am understanding and dont judge, but right now i am MORE CONCERNED about the WELL BEING of the innocent pets who have done NOTHING WRONG, than you.
:mad: :mad: :mad:
Just be aware of how you word things when talking to people in distress, that's all I ask.
MyNameIsTerry
26-06-16, 05:17
If you want to hurt your pets, then either get admitted to a mental hospital, or give your pets to a friend or a home.
Usually i am understanding and dont judge, but right now i am MORE CONCERNED about the WELL BEING of the innocent pets who have done NOTHING WRONG, than you.
If you continue to have thoughts about hurting them, then SEND THEM TO A HOME, and then come on here and we will happily chat to you and try to help
Sorry to sound mean, but poor innocent animals are VERY important to me and have JUST AS MUCH RIGHT to be alive and treated well, as humans do!
:mad: :mad: :mad:
I dont judge
but i am sick of hearing about animal cruelty justified by ``the person couldnt control themself / didnt know any better``
i am DELIGHTED and more than happy to help the OP, i would be happy to
but while there is a risk of the poor animals being hurt, i am insisting on the animals being taken to a safer place,
THEN i am happy to sympathise with the OP and help the OP
Elizabez,
You obviously don't realise this because you are talking from a position of ignorance but I would suggest you read the links I have provided and what I have said as well as what Adam is saying. You are showing the typical judgemental stigma that certain themes of OCD are subjected to and why they are afraid to even discuss them.
I am an OCD sufferer and I've had intrusive thoughts for years and beaten them twice. If you think the OP needs to be sectioned because she may harm animals then what must you think of me for my thoughts about physical harming my own parents, my dog, complete strangers in the street, etc? Do I need sectioning for the safety of the public?
What about the parents we have had on here who have these thoughts about sexually molesting their children or physically harming their children? Should we be calling Social Service? NO!
There are many difficult themes within OCD which can be seen as close to other problems in society but you need to understand the difference. Someone having intrusive thoughts about molesting their child isn't a paedophile! Intrusive thoughts are opposite of character, paedophilia is based on reward, not fear. There is a massive difference.
The same applies to any other intrusive thoughts where harm comes into the play. I'm not a psychotic sadist. I've known violent people in my life and they only get anxious, if even then, when they are trying to plead for a reduced sentence in a court. They would laugh as they hurt you, they would brag to their friends, film it, etc. Does that sound like an OCD sufferer who has these thoughts but is terrified of them and finds them disgusting?
So, why do you think the OP would ever harm an animal? Actually removing the animals is avoidance, as I said earlier in this thread, and damaging to the disorder.
If you had read what we have all explained, I can't understand why you are taking this stance. People who abuse animals do so out of disregard or deliberate sadism. Do you think they give a crap about the poor animal like the OP says she does?
I suggest you read about how intrusive thoughts work to understand why the OP WILL NOT act on these thoughts and why you have been judgemental. If you choose to continue to hold your beliefs about OCD sufferers then I would ask you to avoid intrusive thoughts threads and especially the OCD board because these responses can be damaging to sufferers.
The OP is scared and does not understand why she is having these thoughts. You too have intrusive thoughts as science has proved we all have, we just don't realise it.
Please read about this and educate yourself on the matter.
I hope you take this in the spirit it is intended in, it's not to cause friction and it doesn't change my views on you from before so I would always be happy talking & posting with you, but you need to know how this can come across and learn from your mistakes. I love animals too and hate to see any harm done to them but I know I'm not defending someone who would harm them.
---------- Post added at 05:17 ---------- Previous post was at 05:14 ----------
From a leading OCD charity, OCD UK:
https://ocduk.org/types-ocd
Intrusive Thoughts - Intrusive thoughts, in the spectrum of OCD, are where a person generally suffers with obsessional thoughts that are repetitive, disturbing and often horrific and repugnant in nature. For example, thoughts of causing violent or sexual harm to loved ones.
Because the intrusive thoughts are repetitive and not voluntarily produced, they cause the sufferer extreme distress - the very idea that they are capable of having such thoughts in the first place can be horrifying. However, what we do know is that people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder are the least likely people to actually act on the thoughts, partly because they find them so repugnant and go to great lengths to avoid them and prevent them happening.
Intrusive thoughts can cover absolutely any subject, but the more common areas of OCD related concerns covers the following sub- categories:
• Relationships.
• Sexual Thoughts - Fear of:
• Magical Thinking - believing that:
• Religious - believing that:
• Violent Thoughts - fear of:
Relationship Intrusive Thoughts - Obsessive doubts over the suitability of a relationship, one’s partner or one's own sexuality are the main focus for the obsessional thoughts. Obsessional thoughts include:
• Constantly analysing the depth of feelings for one's partner, placing the partner and the relationship under a microscope and finding fault.
• Constantly needing to seek reassurance and approval from one's partner.
• Doubts that one's partner is being faithful.
• Doubts that one may cheat on their partner.
• Questioning one’s own sexuality, and having feelings, thoughts and impulses about being attracted to members of the same sex.
The constant analysing and questioning of the relationship and partner often places immense strain on the relationship and the result is a person with OCD will often end the relationship to rid themselves of the doubt and anxiety, which is usually often repeated with any subsequent relationship.
Sexual Intrusive Thoughts - Obsessive thoughts of unintentionally causing inappropriate sexual harm (i.e. to children) unintentionally, or the constant questioning of one’s own sexuality are the main focuses for these obsessional doubts. Obsessional thoughts can include:
• Fearing being a paedophile and being sexually attracted to children.
• Fearing being sexually attracted to members of one's own family.
• Fearing being attracted to members of the same sex (homosexual OCD) or for those who are gay fear of being attracted to members of the opposite sex.
• Thoughts about touching a child inappropriately.
• Intrusive sexual thoughts about God, saints or, religious figures.
The constant analysing and questioning of one’s own sexual preferences, or the thought of being attracted to a child, are perhaps two of the most mentally disturbing aspects of OCD and, because of the nature of the thoughts, many sufferers are reluctant to seek help from health professionals, fearing they may be labelled.
A person that experiences these types of intrusive thoughts will avoid public places, like shopping centres, in an attempt to avoid coming into close contact with children. They may also avoid spending time with younger members of the family. For a parent with this form of the illness they avoid bathing and hugging their own children which can lead to emotional distress for both children and parent
Magical Thinking Intrusive Thoughts - is the fear is that even thinking about something bad will make it more likely to happen - sometimes also called ‘thought-action fusion’.
Sufferers are beset by intrusive bad thoughts. They try to dispel them by performing rituals - magic rituals, in effect - that are often bizarre and time-consuming and involve linking actions or events that could not possibly be related to each other. For example having the thought 'I may strangle someone' is regarded as being as reprehensible as actually strangling a person. Another example is believing that simply imagining a horrific car crash will increase the likelihood of such a crash taking place, or a person may feel that if they don’t count to ten ‘just right’ harm will come to a family member. Other examples of magical thinking, or thought-action fusion intrusive thoughts include:
• A certain colour or number has good or bad luck associated with it.
• Certain days have good or bad luck associated with them.
• A loved one’s death can be predicted.
• One’s thoughts can cause disasters to occur.
• Stepping on cracks in the pavement can make bad things happen.
• Whatever comes to mind can come true.
• Breaking chain letters will actually bring bad luck.
• Attending a funeral will bring death.
• One can inadvertently cause harm to others with thoughts or carelessness.
• Hearing the word ‘death’ will mean repeating the word ‘life’ to prevent death.
In each example listed above, the thoughts and events happening could not possibly ever be linked, but the person with OCD will believe that this possibility does exist, and as a result, this will cause them immense stress and anxiety. As a result, their silent internal compulsive behaviours will take hours, and often prevent them interacting with anyone else during this time.
Religious Intrusive Thoughts - OCD often fixates on areas of great importance and sensitivity and religion and matters of religious practice are prime candidates for OCD obsessions. Sometimes referred to as scrupulosity, religious intrusive thoughts include:
• Sins committed will never be forgiven by God and one will go to hell.
• One will have bad thoughts in a religious building.
• One will scream blasphemous words loudly in a religious location.
• Prayers have been omitted or recited incorrectly.
• Certain prayers must be said over and over again.
• Religious objects need to be touched or kissed repeatedly.
• One is always doing something sinful.
• Repetitive blasphemous thoughts.
• That the person has lost touch with God or their beliefs in some way.
• Intrusive sexual thoughts about God, saints or, religious figures.
• That the person has broken religious laws concerning speech, or dress or modesty.
• Intrusive bad thoughts that occur during prayer will contaminate and ruin or cancel out the value of these activities.
The constant analysing and questioning of a person’s faith places immense strain on their beliefs and prevents the person deriving peace from their religion. As a result they will often avoid church and all religious practice out of fear of their thoughts.
Violent Intrusive Thoughts – obsessive fears of carrying out violent acts against loved ones or other people. Intrusive thoughts include:
• Violently harming children or loved ones.
• Killing innocent people.
• Using kitchen knives and other sharp objects (compulsion will include locking away knives and sharp objects).
• Jumping in front of a train or fast moving bus.
• Poisoning the food of loved ones (compulsion will include avoiding cooking for family).
• Acting on unwanted impulses, e.g. running someone over, stabbing someone.
• Thoughts about accidentally touching someone inappropriately, with the aim of hurting them.
Most sufferers with these types of fears often end up labelling themselves as a bad person, simply for having the thoughts. They falsely believe that having the thoughts mean they are capable of acting upon them. The constant analysing and questioning of these disturbing aspects of OCD becomes incredibly upsetting and because of the nature of the thoughts many sufferers are reluctant to open up to health professionals to seek help, fearing they may be labelled.
A person with these types of intrusive thoughts will avoid public places like shopping centres and other places, where social interaction may be required, to avoid coming into close contact with people that may trigger the obsessive thoughts.
To sufferers and non-sufferers alike, the thoughts and fears related to OCD can often seem profoundly shocking . It must be stressed, however, that they are just thoughts, and they are not voluntarily produced. Neither are they fantasies or impulses which will be acted upon.
That is just some of it, it's not an exhaustive list and neither are the themes OCD UK talk about.
all opinions and advice are welcomed. Good or bad.
I agree with the posters in that these are intrusive thoughts. I also agree with elibabez in that professional intervention and/or putting the pets in a protected environment until the mental issues are addressed or resolved is prudent.
Either way, addressing the mental aspect and welfare of both the OP and the pets is imperative.
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
26-06-16, 05:52
I completely disagree and we should not condone placing animals in protection either. Otherwise the same would apply to parents suffering from POCD, their children would need to be taken off them.
Honestly people, learn about the themes of OCD and then think about what you are suggesting. NO doctor or therapist who understands OCD or intrusive thoughts would advise this.
I would suggest the OP also moves this thread to the OCD board as it might perhaps mean certain ignorant comments are avoided going forward.
---------- Post added at 05:45 ---------- Previous post was at 05:29 ----------
A useful story which may hopefully demonstrate how unpleasant these thoughts can be. I also hope that a particular section about hiding the cords might demonstrate how damaging taking the OP's pets away may be:
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Obsessive-compulsive-disorder/Pages/Realstoriespage.aspx
Something important from Steve Seay's excellent articles:
http://www.steveseay.com/harm-obsessions-violent-obsessions/
Imagine that you’re leaning down to kiss your young daughter goodnight, when BAM! You are jolted by an image of yourself stabbing her to death.
Alternatively, picture yourself as a young child who is intensely afraid of playing with your new puppy…not because you’re afraid of dogs but because you are afraid that if you touch it, you might lose control and snap its neck.
In either scenario, the most horrifying part is that you’re afraid that you might secretly want to act on these unwanted thoughts.
After all, why would the thought keep coming if it didn’t mean something?
Violent Obsessions, Harm Obsessions, & Bad Thoughts
This is the daily reality for many adults, teens, and children who experience harm obsessions, also known as violent obsessions, a type of OCD symptom that involves unwanted, repetitive violent thoughts, impulses, or images. Harm obsessions are typically shocking, distressing, and disturbing, and they may occur thousands of times every day. They often involve themes of violence, death, murder, self-harm, and suicide. Obsessions involving death are also sometimes referred to as “morbid obsessions.”
Much like sexual obsessions, violent obsessions can be a debilitating symptom of OCD because they can “pop in” at any time and in any place. They are sometimes associated with the presence of triggers like particular people (e.g., loved ones) or vulnerable populations (e.g., fear of children or the elderly), but they may also occur with strangers. In other cases, they may seemingly emerge out of the blue with little provocation or warning. They can even occur when you’re alone or in the absence of an easily identifiable external trigger.
Because of this, many people with violent obsessions begin avoiding people they care about. They may also become fearful of being alone or being bored and may go to great lengths to keep themselves busy, because their unwanted thoughts may frequently occur during periods of downtime or relaxation. Consequently, many individuals with harm obsessions feel that they can never really relax. They become masters at distraction and often dread bedtime when they are alone with their thoughts
Can anyone see the bold red bits and see a similarity to the OP's situation and why avoidance is such a bad idea?
---------- Post added at 05:52 ---------- Previous post was at 05:45 ----------
And another of Steve Seay's:
http://www.steveseay.com/aggressive-obsessions-fear-of-harming-killing-others/
These have been snipped due to particular relevance.
Common examples include:
- Fear of snapping your child or pet’s neck.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Aggressive Obsessions & Avoidance Behaviors
- Avoidance of being alone with children, pets, the elderly, or other vulnerable populations.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Do you enjoy the thoughts you’re experiencing? Are your violent thoughts pleasurable?
Many individuals with aggressive obsessions are extremely distressed when they have thoughts about harming or killing others. However, this “test” won’t work for everyone. Because OCD involves debilitating doubt and uncertainty, there are many of you out there who are now probably saying, “Well, then I definitely don’t have OCD. I’m worried that I actually like my thoughts and want to act on them.”
If that sounds like you, you might ask yourself a different question:
If you could, would you choose to have your violent thoughts occur MORE OFTEN?
Thank you NoPoet, Mynameisterry, and Fishmanpa for defending and explaining my situation. Those judging comments are exactly why I'm afraid to talk about this. I dread being looked at weird and judged and questioned in real life about this, but getting this online seriously hurts. People like that bother me, and I know there are a lot more like elibabez out there. For the record, I am not looking for sympathy. Just open minded people who understand what I'm saying and who are willing to help guide me.
One of you mentioned talking to a friend or family member but that's not an option. I don't have many open minded friends, and the only person I'm comfortable talking to is my mom, but I'm sure she wouldn't have a positive response to this. A few years ago When my grandpa was sick and dying, I tried asking her why it didn't bother me and why didn't I feel sad and she got offended and walked away without hearing me out. I also recently got injured pretty bad and that took a toll on my mental and emotional state, and some days I would rage and that really got on her nerves. Not trying to change the subject, just explaining why I can't talk to anyone.
And for my lovely, sweet four legged friends, I would rather hurt myself than them, and sometimes that seems to work.
---------- Post added at 11:13 ---------- Previous post was at 11:11 ----------
And I will definitely check out those links. Thank you again.
I want to see a therapist, but I know I have to see a doctor first, I just don't know how to start explaining. Do I jump right into it and "I want to hurt my pets, please help"?
---------- Post added at 11:16 ---------- Previous post was at 11:13 ----------
I really don't want to get rid of my pets. I love them so much, and Without them, I'd fall back into a deep depression.
I recently started feeling better after getting my puppy. If I could just rid these thoughts, we'd be perfect.
Lone bird,
Getting help, at least for me, was as simple as asking. When I was dealing with some depression and "scanxiety" after my illnesses, I spoke to me GP and basically said... "Doc, I'm struggling right now mentally from everything that's happened. I need some help. Can I get a referral please?". He gave me a referral and we spoke about meds. I didn't want to start an SSRI so I was prescribed a non-SSRI "as needed". Works fine. I went to one on one therapy for a couple of months and it helped me immensely.
So, you don't have to be specific when you ask... Just ask :) Also... since you're in the US, every state has a mental health hotline you can call. They're there to listen and can often refer you for help.
Positive thoughts
Do what I suggested with regard to seeing your doctor and tell them what I recommended you say. That's my advice. Get the ball rolling asap.
With the ever growing number of people being diagnosed on the autistic spectrum these days there's a slim possibility that maybe you could be somewhere on the spectrum. I would advise you to start with your doctor by saying "People don't usually react well to what I'm about to say and I need you to hear me out" or something similar.
Again, while I love animals and respect people who want to protect them, this is a forum for humans who need help with mental health difficulties. A therapist who's any good will listen to you and not try to force their beliefs or morals on you. The focus is on you here as you're the one facing these issues therefore you are the one who needs help. If you find your urges becoming stronger then I would recommend giving your pets to friends or family to look after, and as for yourself, you should ring the doctors as soon as possible. Due to the nature of your intrusive thoughts you should consider asking for an emergency appointment to avoid having to wait three weeks. If they ask you why it's an emergency, say you're having intrusive thoughts and believe you're at risk of harm. Don't go into further details until you're with the doctor.
Right, of course. I hate going to the doctor and been avoiding it and was hoping there's another way to solve it, but without a doubt, a trip to the doctor is something I need to do.
I want you guys to know I really do appreciate you taking time out of your lives to help me and sharing your experience.
I'm just nervous about expressing myself. I went to counciling in college and I never found the courage to expresse my true concerns. I'll just have to learn to rip the bandage off.
Definitely prepare them first, don't just launch into it. Few people, even trained professionals, seem to know how to handle certain things. Anyone who's halfway competent should be able to help you as long as you explain everything.
Thank you NoPoet, Mynameisterry, and Fishmanpa for defending and explaining my situation. Those judging comments are exactly why I'm afraid to talk about this. I dread being looked at weird and judged and questioned in real life about this, but getting this online seriously hurts. People like that bother me, and I know there are a lot more like elibabez out there. Fo
People like ``me``?
I think if you got to know me i am one of the most kind understanding people out there and i am always responding to peoples threads and trying to help them.
But you stated thoughts about wanting to hurt your pets..........
AND RIGHT NOW, I AM MORE CONCERNED WITH THE SAFETY OF YOUR PETS, THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO LIVE AND NOT BE HARMED.
ONCE YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM, WE ARE HAPPY TO HELP YOU
There is far too much animal cruelty in the world, always excused by ``they had no choice/didnt know any better``
when im sorry ANIMALS HAVE JUST AS MUCH RIGHT TO BE SAFE AS HUMANS!
Can not sympathise with ANYONE whos title is `i want to hurt my pets`
unless they first send the pets away and then seek help
that just makes me angry
Right. I'll be taking with them this week. I'll write down what you advised and bring it with me :) thank you again.
And once again, I don't need or want your sympathy. I don't care if you think you're kind and understanding. I love animals, and I too hate animal cruelty. I've been dealing with these thoughts forever and have not hurt my animals. You're the only one who's not happy to help atm. And again, I stated thoughts, not actions. I'm on this site for guidance, not your bloody sympathy. Be angry all you want, but it'd be best if you just stop responding.
come back once the animals are safe
and whilst you are in this state of mind - NEVER have a pet animal again
those poor animals
i love animals so much :(
come back when theyre safe and we will be here for you and help you, i promise
Unfortunately this site isn't for animals with mental and emotional troubles. So I'll keep posting. You don't have to help. Really. If you're bothered so much by my troubles, YOU can leave.
MyNameIsTerry
27-06-16, 06:46
People like ``me``?
I think if you got to know me i am one of the most kind understanding people out there and i am always responding to peoples threads and trying to help them.
But you stated thoughts about wanting to hurt your pets..........
AND RIGHT NOW, I AM MORE CONCERNED WITH THE SAFETY OF YOUR PETS, THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO LIVE AND NOT BE HARMED.
ONCE YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM, WE ARE HAPPY TO HELP YOU
There is far too much animal cruelty in the world, always excused by ``they had no choice/didnt know any better``
when im sorry ANIMALS HAVE JUST AS MUCH RIGHT TO BE SAFE AS HUMANS!
Can not sympathise with ANYONE whos title is `i want to hurt my pets`
unless they first send the pets away and then seek help
that just makes me angry
come back once the animals are safe
and whilst you are in this state of mind - NEVER have a pet animal again
those poor animals
i love animals so much :(
come back when theyre safe and we will be here for you and help you, i promise
Elibabez,
No, you are reacting irrationally because you are ignorant of intrusive thoughts. I have given you links and information to read about this from the NHS, a practicing psychologist and a leading UK charity, OCD UK. You don't appear to be making an attempt at reading what these experts are all saying and continue to make assumptions that this is someone with abuse potential. Do you know how that comes across?
Someone having intrusive thoughts is nothing like "they had no choice/didnt know any better". You are demonstrating a stigma those with intrusive thoughts already worry about and it is clearly out of ignorance.
You state that you cannot sympathise but it is YOU who is refusing to accept that real experts understand this and are not calling in the RPSCA, Social Services, the police, etc to take peoples pets or children off them because they have intrusive thoughts.
The OP made a title that reflected the thought. It was obvious after reading the first post that this was about intrusive thoughts and not a statement of intention or belief. The OP phrased it this way but was ignorant of intrusive thoughts herself so must have been worried this was something horrible within here, which is a typical concerned raised by people with themes like this. She hardly spent her time saying how much she wanted to do it but instead explained the classic conflicts displayed by the OCD sufferer. I'm sure it took her great courage to even come here.
Why are you angry? The OP has every right to be upset & angry with you and I think she has been very fair in her responses to you. YOU are refusing to read what experts say and continue to react out of ignorance.
The OP doesn't need to leave and come back "when they are safe". They are safe now. Let a doctor or therapist make a judgement call about someone's state of mind, not a bunch of usernames on a small web forum.
I'm yet to hear of a case of deliberate animal cruelty where they gave a crap about the animals they mistreated. The only ones that ever come to mind are people suffering with mental health problems or due to poverty who have let their animals suffer and some of them have given them in. People who deliberately abuse animals, and other human beings for that matter, are not the same as this and need to be dealt with through prosecution.
There are people out there with OCD who are terrified that Social Services will take their kids off them because of thoughts like this. Imagine how they would feel reading someone telling them to give their kids away "just in case" they harmed them? You might also want to think about why Social Services, doctors, etc are fully aware of many people like this and are NOT taking their kids away because thankfully they understand the conditions & behaviours that indicate OCD and separate out those who truly do harm others.
You need to educate yourself through reading about intrusive thoughts or comments like this are only going to offend people.
We had a similar issue over paedophilia on here a couple of years back. One member was telling the OP he should be locked up as he was a danger to children. Everything he said was documented in OCD, everything. The two members that took offence were ignorant of these types of OCD. Plenty of other members supported him and one even posted an article in a national newspaper to show other members why it was accepted as OCD but one member wouldn't accept it. You are not like that member, he was often very unpleasant and earned himself a ban (which should have come sooner in my opinion) and the OP left citing intolerance on this forum. None of us want to see that happen.
Intrusive thoughts are common for people with anxiety. Now you realise what they are, you will soon realise you don't have to fear them. The fact that it upsets you and they make you feel very uncomfortable, means that you are very very unlikely to act out on these thoughts.
Here is how to manage them. Straight away, label them as intrusive thoughts. They are not anything more than that. Observe them as they come and go and don't fight them. Just picture them as separate from you, floating around, then floating away.
The more you get anxious about the thoughts and the more you think of them, the more power they have and the more they come. Just like if someone said 'Don't think of a pink elephant', straight away, what do you think of? It's the same with these thoughts. Don't anticipate them.
So, label them, let them pass, carry on. They don't mean anything.
You should talk to your GP. Just say you have intrusive thoughts that upset you. You don't have to say what they are. There are medications that can help (SSRI's) but also CBT is really good for this and you can get it on the NHS or get some books on it.
Good luck! You will get there!
---------- Post added at 11:17 ---------- Previous post was at 11:10 ----------
Also, there is an app you can use to talk to a GP if you find this easier? They can prescribe and refer you. I won't name the app as I'm not here to promote stuff but I really think they help people with anxiety. It did for me anyway! I found it a lot easier to talk knowing I was anonymous.
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