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View Full Version : Got first cbt 5 th July but still these are on my mind all the time :(



Lockey1995
24-06-16, 23:39
Hey,

So I posted here about bowel issue I think about 4 weeks or maybe a bit longer ago now and I went back to the Doctors and she said the same tbh stress maybe ibs and anxiety it's sort of got better I'd say been once today so far and that's it although I was a little constipated have been since 1 week friday but its hardened up and the feeling of that weird sensation has gone. I still feel like I haven't completed when i went earlier on though but i do think there is more in there. I'm trying to calm down on the toilet i was so anxious before a bm and during incase something happens or it doesn't come out right so I don't know If i'm tensing up on the toilet or something. I've now implied a rule I will flush before I even turn around and not even look. Last friday I had an urge and just passed a bit of clearish mucus no stool I've had this in the past though for years although it still concerns me to this day.

Second fear Lymphoma

Yesterday I'm not sure if it's been here for years i thought before it was part of my neck but just under my chin i think it might be the submental lymphnode unless I'm feeling a part of my neck that should be there. It's quite hard painless and immobile slightly bigger than a pea I'm pretty sure it's immobile I don't know if it moves or my skin just moving over the top of it sad this has me terrified.

Slight pimple type bump in top of left testicle or in the epidiymis.

About 2-3 weeks ago now when i was showeing at the top of my left testicle it feels like there's a soft squidgy moveable pimple thing at the very top. The weird thing is when I lie down it feels like a vein and sometimes it's hard to find so it might move a bit or be in the scrotum it self. I might have had this years aswell not too sure my head is just gone atm. Anyway when i did have a shower yesterday i checked again and i think it is in the epidiymis or around that area because I pushed on it and my fingers on the lump were right at the top away from the testicle structure it self but it still scares me.

I have a pea sized one on my right epidiymis that I've had ooh for about 5-6 years now gotta be maybe even longer than that which is stupidly never got it checked out. Also if you had some shrinkage in your left testicle would it be very obvious from the outside as in you'd see saggy skin? or am i being paranoid at this point?

I've just felt terrible for the last nearly 3 months now so scared, alone and even if it does get better a little and subsides. I'm really worried that one day one of the above things is going to be the death of me and come back and hit me later on.

Also not sure if this is more of a sympton of depression but atm I'm having terrible intrusive thoughts like wishing above on my aswell and other bad things :(