Pushing through; big steps; small steps... what works?

[ana]

Hello everyone,
I'm curious to hear about your experiences with overcoming agoraphobia? I'd like to know what 'strategy' works best for you. Do you find that taking lots of small steps, say, going to the same place that's near to your house a couple of times a week, and then gradually progressing from there and going further, works best? Perhaps doing something massive, something that's completely out of your comfort zone is the key to building your confidence up?

I often find that going certain places is still a struggle for me, regardless of the fact that I've gone there and much further in the past. I'd like to come up with a permanent solution so as to solve this issue effectively.

[ana]

Thank you. :)
My anxiety is at its worst in the evening, so going out in the mornings sounds like a better option for me. It's much easier to have someone to keep me company; I'm glad someone else relates to that.

[dally]

Hi,
I think no one 'cure' fits all.

I do think when agoraphobia is at its peak/worst, going out at night/dark is less stressful.
in general there are less people about to see you or bump into who may want to 'trap' you in conversation.

I personally find going out with someone at the EARLY stages more 'trapping/stressful' because when I knew I had had enough the OP ' ' forced/encourage me to go ' one step further, '
If I really couldn't, I was left feeling useless,worthess and despondent.

HOWEVER
When I was attempting to go much further afield where I couldn't reasonable walk home by myself quickly should I panic... I did need and rely on another person who would drive or arrange taxi or 'ambulance' home

I have tried both methods.
Flooding ..going really far from home. Although on those occasions it was to weddings where I was doubly 'trapped' due to 'having' to stay at the function where my 'flight' desire became overwhelming!

I had to use valium and many other 'safety' measures to achieve the outing. And whilst I did achieve the outing, I never fell it was successful as I exhausted myself with meticulous forward planning of 'what ifs, catastrophising,; major flight and fight during; and and exhaustion afterwards.

Claire weeks suggests constant repeats of same length exposure is the way to go, and I have tried this too.
It was successful for shorter journeys, but I found on massive exposures, 2 or 3 concurrent of them left me extremely anxious and having a set back.

I will say however, over the last two years, I can now attempt (on a very good day) an 18 mile return journey by myself by car which I could never have thought possible before. And this journey makes the very small exposures seem almost 'easy'. So long term continued practice WILL improve Your condition

I also have bad days (although becoming fewer) when any journey seems impossible
And
Even though I have improved and HAVE actually got out and about...having a set back. Brings irrational thoughts that I will never be able to leave the house ever again. Part of the agaraphic condition I think!

[ana]

I appreciate the advice. Personally, I don't have an issue with people 'trapping' me into a conversation. Quite the opposite: I find comfort and reassurance talking to people I bump into as they take my mind off my anxiety and distract me.
Slow and steady wins the race then, going on what you've said there. I'm also experiencing a set back at the moment, but it's all part of the journey!

[dally]

So, we seem to have different issues within the agoraphobia spectrum, and also different needs and ways of dealing with these problems. Ie I feel traped by OP. you welcome them as a distraction.

Exposure therapy has been the only thing that has helped me in 30 years.

[ana]

Yeah, the share the same underlying issue. :)
Thank you for your reply. I suppose exposure is the only way; moving forward, small steps mixed in with some big steps... Hopefully we'll all get there in the end!

[Jmac]

keep in mind that the goal initially isn't to not feel any anxiety, it's to feel the anxiety and persevere and move through it. Small steps, yes but be sure to feel the fear and do it anyway. It gave me a great feeling of accomplishment when I went through it. If you can work with a CBT therapist, they'll guide you through the steps to success. Good Luck!

[Shazamataz]

I was taught that using other people as company is a 'safety behaviour' and will just feed the anxiety. That said it can be easier said than done doing these things alone.

Repetition also works.

I myself am having a major setback from being 'partially' healed and everything is difficult. The further I get from home the worse I feel. Unfortunately I feel pretty bad with a constant state of anxiety at home too so sometimes getting out is nice for a change of scenery.

I'm managing to take the dogs to the beach every day (only a 2-3 minute drive) but anything else feels impossible.

[Phuzella]

For me it was running across a massive beach to the sea. I didn't plan it, just went for it. Scary as hell, but it sure felt good. That was over 20 years ago, and pretty much cured my serious agoraphobia. Had a few tiny blips over the years but nothing major. :)

[ana]

Shaz, I'm the same: the further from home I get, the worse I feel. Also, sometimes I'm anxious at home, just like you, so I'm forced to choose the lesser evil: go out (or stay in)? :) Phuzella, I'm pleased to hear you did something brave that helped cure your agoraphobia. I'm hoping that lots of little steps will eventually lead me on to something major that will push me 10 steps forward as I constantly feel like I keep going backwards; sporadically and partially, but backwards...

[Saltlick]

For me its repetition. Started out taking day trips an hour away. Once i felt comfortable with that, extended it to 2 hr drive and staying overnight. Once i did that enough i moved onto a short 45 min plane ride and a 4 night stay. After that i went for a2hr plane ride out of state and stayed for 7 days. Seems like after a while, the thought of driving a few hours away and staying in a hotel is fine. It took me pressing myself further and further to show that the smaller trips are ok now. The bigger ones..i can at least do them now...before no way. That sounds easy but took me years to get there and many many trips with big panick attacks, no sleep and pacing at night. So no it wasnt easy or quick. The alternative is to say im beaten, and i dont want to let that happen.

[Saltlick]

Honestly its me being forced to take these trips cause of work and my wife that i did it. If i wasnt forced i never would do them. Theres nothing wrong in my book with taking the ovcasional trip to the neach for a weekend. Thats about as adventurous as i care to be. I dont enjoy traveling, never have and mever will.