Honest opinions on an increase please

[Mojo61]

Hi again guys.

Most of you know my story; got anxiety out of the blue on 18/11/15 - just woke up that morning with it - tried until April to get rid of it by myself without success. Eventually decided I needed help so started 10mg on 2/4/16 and have been on that dose since. Initially side effects were a pain but I battled through and started to feel better. A few weeks back I felt almost back to normal, but then on 15/6 I came crashing down following a change in my HRT patches (well, I blamed that for the crash put it that way) have been dreadful ever since although this morning I took the new patch off and put one of the old ones back on) My dilemma is: do I wait to see if I settle down again once the old patch starts working, or do I go up to 20mg and accept that 10mg just isn't going to cut the mustard here?

My initial plan was to stick with 10mg for 3 months, and then if I was OK to continue on that dose permanently but now I've gone and messed it up by p****** around with my HRT patches and I don't know if it's that which has caused the crash or the Citalopram dose.

Oh what a kerfuffle! Any suggestions please Terry, Adam, Becky, Suzie et al?

[Mojo61]

Had the most awful night, couldn't sleep, tossing and turning, racing thoughts etc. Dragged myself out of bed at 8am because otherwise I would just stay there until midday like I did yesterday. Now I'm sat here on the sofa watching the news and feeling sick to my stomach.

Why have I gone downhill like this after feeling so much better?

[Shazamataz]

Oh Mojo I feel your pain!

I'm still a mess since the 15th as well and it isn't easing. I've booked in to see psychiatrist wednesday afternoon but am sure she will just throw more meds at me with more side effects.

Any maybe it will pass? And for you too?

My dilemma is I don't feel strong enough for an upheaval of adding/changing meds but I can't go on like this either. The lack of sleep magnifies everything doesn't it?

Do you have any techniques for calming yourself? I'm finding them no use right now.

[Misty12]

Not an easy decision for you to make as I know how keen you were to stick with the 10mg dose for the 3 months - could you give the old patch a few days to get back into your system before making a decision on the Cit?
Even if you increase the cit now it will take time to get into your system and stabilise again - it's so hard as I know when you feel that low or anxious all you want to do is something to improve it - I also think it's worse when you've had some good days and then come crashing down - it's such a confusing time - I hope whatever you decide you start to feel better soon x

[Mojo61]

Hi Shaz. Sorry to hear you are feeling so poorly too. It is truly awful and I'm so frightened that I'm going back to that terrible dark place I was a few months ago. I don't have a psychiatrist, I think I'm going to have to pay privately for one because I doubt I will get a referral on the NHS.

I am going to make an appointment with my doctor and see what she says. If she recommends going to 20mgs I will just do it and hope the side effects won't be too bad as I've been on 10mgs for nearly 3 months now.

I hope things improve for you. Do you get a reprieve at night by any chance?

---------- Post added at 10:27 ---------- Previous post was at 10:26 ----------

Thank you Misty. Yes I could give the patch a few more days but at the moment I feel desperate for some relief sp not sure what to do for the best.

[Suziewuzie]

Why do you want to try & stay on 10mg so badly? You're suffering and it's worth trying anything to get out of that dark place so I honestly think it's worth increasing now!! 20mg is still a low dose if that's what's putting you off, you've been on it long enough now to deal with any initial side effects of increasing. I know you have tried so hard to feel better and you really want to, there's no shame in saying you've given 10mg a whirl and it hasn't quite hit the spot so it's time to try 20 - that's what most people do anyway xx

[Shazamataz]

Hi Shaz. Sorry to hear you are feeling so poorly too. It is truly awful and I'm so frightened that I'm going back to that terrible dark place I was a few months ago. I don't have a psychiatrist, I think I'm going to have to pay privately for one because I doubt I will get a referral on the NHS.

I am going to make an appointment with my doctor and see what she says. If she recommends going to 20mgs I will just do it and hope the side effects won't be too bad as I've been on 10mgs for nearly 3 months now.

I hope things improve for you. Do you get a reprieve at night by any chance?

---------- Post added at 10:27 ---------- Previous post was at 10:26 ----------

Thank you Misty. Yes I could give the patch a few more days but at the moment I feel desperate for some relief sp not sure what to do for the best.

I resisted seeing a psychiatrist for months because I actually was working (until last October) in the mental health system and wanted to stay out of it. Ultimately when things weren't improving and we'd tried a few things my GP suggested I see psych services (in the public system) in case they had any bright ideas. To be honest they just put me on what the GP would have anyway.

At the moment I don't seem to get any reprieve at all as I am so worried (and thus anxious) about being so unwell again out of the blue. I'd been doing better but still a long way off looking for work but at least functioning on my own without having to call in help. I manage the odd fem minutes here and there to feel borderline okay but the rest is just hellish and I can;t seem to talk myself out of it.

With the meds, I agree with Suzie that going up to 20 mg makes sense as that's the therapeutic dose anyway, however if you can wait, perhaps see in a few days with the new patch on so you know what's doing what?

Hope you feel better soon too!

[Mojo61]

Why do you want to try & stay on 10mg so badly? You're suffering and it's worth trying anything to get out of that dark place so I honestly think it's worth increasing now!! 20mg is still a low dose if that's what's putting you off, you've been on it long enough now to deal with any initial side effects of increasing. I know you have tried so hard to feel better and you really want to, there's no shame in saying you've given 10mg a whirl and it hasn't quite hit the spot so it's time to try 20 - that's what most people do anyway xx

Thank you Suzie. I guess I just wanted to believe I could do it on 10mg like you and Becky have. I've just completed a 12 week course of CBT too but the techniques I learned don't appear to be helping at the moment as I'm in so much shock at having had such a huge crash. It will be 2 weeks on Wednesday and part of me thinks stick with it, you might come out of it again, but the other part of me says you've been on 10mg for nearly 3 months now, if it were the correct dose then you shouldn't be having such huge crashes.

Unbelievably I've managed to get an appt with the GP this afternoon at 3.50 - unheard of around here on a Monday morning! I must have called at just the right time.

I'm concerned about the increase though - will I have to go through all those side effects again, and how long before the new dose stabilises in my body and I hopefully see an improvement?

[Suziewuzie]

If I were you, I would go to your GP & talk it through. I would tell them about your fears about increasing & ask for a short course of sleeping tablets to have 'just in case' because lack of sleep will make it worse.
It doesn't matter what dose youre on, wether it's 10mg or 40mg it only matters that you're feeling better - and you're not, so go for it x

[Mojo61]

Thank you Suzie. I will ask for some sleeping tablets but I'm concerned about taking them because I'm looking after a friend's pets for 2 weeks and that involves me driving to her house to feed them morning and evening.

[Mojo61]

Well I went to the doctor today and he has increased the dose to 20mg. He said he had no idea why I was given 10mg because that won't do anything, it's just a dose to start people out on who are concerned about side effects. He reckons I should have moved onto 20mg after 2 weeks on 10. He was shocked when I told him I'd been on 10 for almost 3 months!

Of course, as is the way, the anxiety has eased right off (strangely enough at the precise moment he wrote the prescription for 20mg out) My anxiety was saying 'Right, I'm going to trick you into thinking you don't really need 20 after all' Grrrrr!!!!!

[Becky2785]

Good luck mojo if u need 20mg don't be ashamed I'm doing ok on 10 at the moment but who knows I could fall again my thoughts are not as bad but still there I'm learning new ways to cope with it everyday. I really hope those dose is right for you and we are all.here to lend a shoulder keep us updated. When do you take the first one?
Take care becky xx

[Mojo61]

Thanks Becky. Well I've already been worrying about taking the first one because I've got to drive to my Dad's tomorrow, about 2hrs on the motorway, and I'm thinking if I have a bad reaction to the increased dose..... And then on Thursday I do my stint at Age Concern and I can't let them down, so I think I'm going to have to hold on until the weekend.

[Becky2785]

Try not to worry mojo I no easier said than done but the sooner there in your system the quicker there going to work. I woke up this morning at 4 with pounding heart so hoping it don't last. I hope your drive goes ok xx

[Shazamataz]

If you are feeling okay I'd wait till the weekend. But that's coming from someone who has had terrible trouble driving since my anxiety kicked off! I'd never do a 2 hour drive and can't even get on the motorway these days!