This is ruining my life.

[Allicloud]

Last year in July I suffered a random panic attack while on a road trip and ever since then I've been more susceptible to getting them and continuously afraid of having another one. I haven't haven't traveled anywhere since and the farthest I've driven from home this whole year is probably only about 45 minutes.

I started dating my boyfriend about 8 months ago and haven't yet met his family who lives across the country. He flew home for Easter and I didn't go because of my anxiety. He is flying home to see his family for the 4th of July and begged me to go with him but I declined because of my anxiety. I want to meet his family so bad and celebrate the holidays with him, but the thought of being that far from home makes me fear another panic attack and not being able to just come home. He is upset that I won't come back with him and I'm mad at myself for not going as well. He is also going on a vacation with our friends a week after that and invited me to go to that as well, but once again I turned down the invitation because of my anxiety, and it sucks! I feel like I'm missing out on so many opportunities and am unable to live my life because of this stupid illness that I cannot control! I'm not currently on any medication but am starting to feel like that is my only hope.

Last year before my panic attack, I was living a "normal" life. I could travel, experience new things, and go wherever I wanted without worrying about anxiety. I went on vacations with loved ones and friends and had a great time, and there were so many places around the world I dreamed of going. After that one random panic attack, my whole world turned upside down and I had no idea this would happen. I know that this isn't who I really am and that I have so much more to live for but this is ruining my life.

[Mojo61]

Hi Allicloud. Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Have you had anymore panic attacks since the first one, or was that the only one?

[Fishmanpa]

"What ifs" are part of the core of anxiety. We all have them but anxiety sufferers seem to hone in and focus on them. I believe acceptance is part of the solution. How to get there? It's different with everyone but professional help and meds if needed can help you get there.

While I'm not a sufferer, I have dealt with my fair share of serious health issues that certainly warrant "What ifs". For me, dealing with it was thinking more in terms of "What Is" as opposed to "What If". In other words. Keep moving forward and deal with things if or when they happen. To deny yourself living due to the fear of "What if" is akin to not living.

Positive thoughts

[shea]

What if's certainly are the worst. I can give 100 'what ifs' that talk myself out of putting myself into a situation that may invoke a panic attack. Unfortunately for me, this has resulted in me living in a very small world. But its one that I am now trying to expand, by putting those 'What if' thoughts to the back of my mind.