Andy1718
28-06-16, 18:50
Hi Guys - I have been on this forum for 6 weeks now and it has been of great help. I have been posting in the citalopram thread for advice but I thought I would ask for advise in the social anxiety side of things.
Just to explain my current situation, i will be brief. Suffered with anxiety for 30 years. My anxiety is situational - work meetings (large groups), work briefings, presenting to colleagues, feeling the centre of a attention, fear of being seen as failing, fear of being made to look an idiot. I have a real hangup about presentations and meetings.
Now, believe it or not, I am a lecturer so i present everyday and am considered to be a very good lecturer. However i have cleverly avoided meetings, briefings, training days in my college for over 22 years. My boss knows about it and they are good with it but recently my situation changed. So 5 things happened very quickly.
My colleague got made redundant, he was head of department and did the meetings thing, I sort of hid behind him.
My college has been in redundancies three times and I have had to lecture in 4 other subjects which has increased workload, pressure and stress.
I was appointed the new head of department without consultation - kickstart the major anxiety!
My dad passed away three months ago, basically in my arms.
My current boss resigned to make way for a new boss.
So 6 weeks ago I lost the plot. Basically went into emotional meltdown. My anxiety went through the roof. Couldn't breathe, arms racing with adrenaline, thoughts all over the place. Went to see my GP and he prescribed citalopram 10mg. Reluctant to take them but was in a bad place so thought i would give it a go.
2 weeks of terrible side effects followed. Anxiety heightened, could not go out. Third week in the side effects passed and GP increased to 20mg. So been on 20mg for 4 weeks. Feeling ok but anxiety still sitting with me. Breathless at times, thoughts racing. I am keeping myself very busy, exercising, some contact with work. I have been doing on line CBT (I have done this before and struggled with it), reading and meditating.
Sorry not that brief.
So the citalopram seems to have taken a slight edge off my anxiety. However when i think of work, think about contacting work it again goes off the chart. I am now wondering whether I can go back into the lecture room to teach?
So the advice I am looking for is this:
How long do I give the citalopram before it works? 6weeks in, 2 weeks on 10mg, 4 weeks on 20mg.
Do I ask for an increase in my dose?
Do I need more time?
Will it take the anxiety away or just support what I am doing? I can't stop my racing thoughts about "what ifs"
CBT talks about exposure. The problem is that it is so ingrained in me that it is difficult to even get myself into those meeting situations as i have avoided them for so long! My colleagues would be astounded if I walked in to a meeting.
I have taken the odd propranolol to help with the physical side but do not want to mask the citalopram. Days are very up and down. Today my anxiety was high as I thought about going back to work. I worry that I might not go back to work and what else can I do to support my family? Any advice would be really helpful.
Just to explain my current situation, i will be brief. Suffered with anxiety for 30 years. My anxiety is situational - work meetings (large groups), work briefings, presenting to colleagues, feeling the centre of a attention, fear of being seen as failing, fear of being made to look an idiot. I have a real hangup about presentations and meetings.
Now, believe it or not, I am a lecturer so i present everyday and am considered to be a very good lecturer. However i have cleverly avoided meetings, briefings, training days in my college for over 22 years. My boss knows about it and they are good with it but recently my situation changed. So 5 things happened very quickly.
My colleague got made redundant, he was head of department and did the meetings thing, I sort of hid behind him.
My college has been in redundancies three times and I have had to lecture in 4 other subjects which has increased workload, pressure and stress.
I was appointed the new head of department without consultation - kickstart the major anxiety!
My dad passed away three months ago, basically in my arms.
My current boss resigned to make way for a new boss.
So 6 weeks ago I lost the plot. Basically went into emotional meltdown. My anxiety went through the roof. Couldn't breathe, arms racing with adrenaline, thoughts all over the place. Went to see my GP and he prescribed citalopram 10mg. Reluctant to take them but was in a bad place so thought i would give it a go.
2 weeks of terrible side effects followed. Anxiety heightened, could not go out. Third week in the side effects passed and GP increased to 20mg. So been on 20mg for 4 weeks. Feeling ok but anxiety still sitting with me. Breathless at times, thoughts racing. I am keeping myself very busy, exercising, some contact with work. I have been doing on line CBT (I have done this before and struggled with it), reading and meditating.
Sorry not that brief.
So the citalopram seems to have taken a slight edge off my anxiety. However when i think of work, think about contacting work it again goes off the chart. I am now wondering whether I can go back into the lecture room to teach?
So the advice I am looking for is this:
How long do I give the citalopram before it works? 6weeks in, 2 weeks on 10mg, 4 weeks on 20mg.
Do I ask for an increase in my dose?
Do I need more time?
Will it take the anxiety away or just support what I am doing? I can't stop my racing thoughts about "what ifs"
CBT talks about exposure. The problem is that it is so ingrained in me that it is difficult to even get myself into those meeting situations as i have avoided them for so long! My colleagues would be astounded if I walked in to a meeting.
I have taken the odd propranolol to help with the physical side but do not want to mask the citalopram. Days are very up and down. Today my anxiety was high as I thought about going back to work. I worry that I might not go back to work and what else can I do to support my family? Any advice would be really helpful.