More about me!

[Enola]

Where to begin. I have suffered with Mental Health for about ten years now. I suffer with manic depression, Agoraphobia, Panic and anxity. It started with the breakdown of my marrage. My husband committed adultary, I had at that time 2 children under two. Doing my favourite thing when things go wrong, I ran. I moved out of North Devon and took my children to start again in Exeter. Things got harder and the depression got worse, I went to social services for help as my ex had refused to help because i'd taken the children away from him. Over the next four years things went from bad to worse. I had 5 house fires, [All started by my children, who were happy to tell people how they did it!] twice loosing everything, My son was trapped in the house for the first fire. He was about 8months old. During this time my panic and anxity had reared its ugly head. Not sleeping for fear of another fire. Being homeless with two children, living in one room at a b+b. We eventually got our own house again but by this time social services had decided I had Munchousend by proxy. They wanted explinations of any bump, bruse, mark that they had. They distroyed me and any confidence i had for parenting my children. I spent the next few years being social services text book Mum. They eventually closed the case on my family telling me "I was there sucess story". Great I had my life back didn't have to feel like I was being watched all the time. 8 days later I lost the plot! Thats the only way I can discribe it. I was taken into hospital to be watched and assessed. I left my children with aunts on my ex's side, we were very close and i trusted them. I got a phonecall from social services the following day, telling me that my ex husband had abducted my children from his sisters. I was released from hospital to fight to bring them home, but they had to go into care until i'd done my time in hospital. I never got back to hospital because my ex decided to go for residence of them. I couldn't fight him if I had problems! I fought to keep them near me for as long as i could, but finances [Social services again], keeping 2 kids in care, cost more than giving them to a man who they didn't know and who would abuse them phyically in the year to come. We went back to court one last time which was a nightmare, the long and short of it, there wasn't enough evidence to move them home with me. Good news. He's changed his parenting ways now. I am still on meds and have the children with me every holidays, I have goood times and bad times, and live within my limits with agoraphobia, I start Phycotheripy soon, which hopefully will open ny life up abit more. The medication I am on is: Venalfaxine 300 mg. Busperone 60mg and Depakote 500mg.
I hope i dont put people off by reading this and its not a woes me. I am a very strong and independant person and give myself the hardest time.

[nomorepanic]

Thanks for the update.

Sounds like you have been through a lot!