I was just diagnosed with Pure O OCD, can anybody school me?

[LiveAboveIt]

Im extremely new to this type of OCD, or atleast the symptoms. Im constantly repeating things in my head, whether it just be thoughts or something someone says. I also notice myself repeating people in my head as they are speaking. I also notice that sometimes when I think or have internal dialogue, I can feel my tongue and vocal cords moving as if I am trying to speak the thoughts, but I am keeping myself from doing so, its hard to explain. These arent things that I cannot control, they are not compulsions because they are automatic. I also suffer from intrusive thoughts, both in the form of violence and suicide, things I would never do, to just intrusive thoughts in general.

Does anyone have this that can explain what is going on? Why is this suddenly appearing? Ive always had GAD, since I was a kid, also diagnosed with "OCD Tendencies" which I never understood because I never had these issues. Im also on 100mg of Zoloft, but it doesnt appear to be helping too much in the last 9 weeks or so that I have been on it.

The OCD symptoms cause me a lot of anxiety and I thought I was was going crazy the last few months. These issues didnt really start until I had extreme anxiety due to cold turkeying SSRIs. Do you think the SSRIs could have caused the OCD, or was it just manifested through the extreme anxiety?

Anyway, sorry for the long post. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I've written quite a bit about intrusive thoughts since being here so to save repeating it all again, this might show you my thoughts on it:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=184847

I always had OCD traits, but not OCD. They never bothered me. Even when my GAD came at 30, the traits only increased a little but not enough to consider them OCD. When I relapsed I started a new med, Duloxetine, and bang on came full blown OCD. I know others with OCD that prior to a certain med never had it.

The question I find is that whether removing the drug that is obviously "too activating" will cause the OCD to recede back to traits. Or will the anxiety remain at such high levels that the traits have become OCD? Because I wonder whether the activation issue is about increasing anxiety levels far beyond what we felt before, which happened to me the minute I hit the norepinephrine dose of Duloxetine...it was the next morning.

I get what you are saying about compulsions being automatic. I had the same issues. I can't say I fully understand this area, and it seems like it's still emerging, but you might want to have a read about "Tic Related OCD".

There is science developing to show that OCD and Tourettes are found in the same areas of the brain. There are also Tic Related Disorders other than Tourettes, something I wasn't aware of until I started reading about it.

I'm not saying you have Tourettes, you would know this at your age, but what I am questioning is whether what brought on my OCD caused me to have tics. I didn't have them before, so it must have either been the med or the meds impact on my anxiety levels going to a whole new level.

Maybe it is the same for you? I say this because I've seen how you have really been through such a bad time with Cit & Sert over the months and your intrusive thoughts seriously ramped up.

I found my tics went as my overall anxiety levels decreased. This was a long process for me but then I stayed on the med, which can't have helped.

[LiveAboveIt]

I've written quite a bit about intrusive thoughts since being here so to save repeating it all again, this might show you my thoughts on it:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=184847

I always had OCD traits, but not OCD. They never bothered me. Even when my GAD came at 30, the traits only increased a little but not enough to consider them OCD. When I relapsed I started a new med, Duloxetine, and bang on came full blown OCD. I know others with OCD that prior to a certain med never had it.

The question I find is that whether removing the drug that is obviously "too activating" will cause the OCD to recede back to traits. Or will the anxiety remain at such high levels that the traits have become OCD? Because I wonder whether the activation issue is about increasing anxiety levels far beyond what we felt before, which happened to me the minute I hit the norepinephrine dose of Duloxetine...it was the next morning.

I get what you are saying about compulsions being automatic. I had the same issues. I can't say I fully understand this area, and it seems like it's still emerging, but you might want to have a read about "Tic Related OCD".

There is science developing to show that OCD and Tourettes are found in the same areas of the brain. There are also Tic Related Disorders other than Tourettes, something I wasn't aware of until I started reading about it.

I'm not saying you have Tourettes, you would know this at your age, but what I am questioning is whether what brought on my OCD caused me to have tics. I didn't have them before, so it must have either been the med or the meds impact on my anxiety levels going to a whole new level.

Maybe it is the same for you? I say this because I've seen how you have really been through such a bad time with Cit & Sert over the months and your intrusive thoughts seriously ramped up.

I found my tics went as my overall anxiety levels decreased. This was a long process for me but then I stayed on the med, which can't have helped.

Thanks a ton for the information, Terry.

Everything in my life seems to have blown up. I've always had anxiety issues, but everything has increased tenfold in my twenties, especially now as I'm nearing 30. Still trying to find help as this anxiety has been difficult to cope with and the meds seem to only make everything worse so far, but I'm still searching.

I feel the same way as far as having OCD traits but never full blown OCD.. The Psychologist I was seeing had diagnosed me, but my OCD seems to fluctuate tremendously.. Some days the tics are incredibly present and other times I hardly notice them and often go a full day without really struggling.

The thoughts are still my biggest issue, but I can't tell the difference between intrusive thoughts and my own anymore, because I've developed this strange fear over being AWARE of my thoughts in general. This has really got me in a tizzy at the moment.

Thank you again for all the information and help over these last few months. You are a pretty amazing guy.

[MyNameIsTerry]

What is different about the days the tics aren't there? Are you less anxious? Are you feeling depressed? I found it was about activation so low mood could have the opposite effect on it and help. Getting a cold was a major plus as it decreased my anxiety significantly!

Intrusive thoughts will just pop into your head, you won't play a part in generating them at a conscious level. For example, someone with Harm-Based OCD would look at a family member and then in pops "KILL THAT PERSON". You wouldn't think something like that by looking at a family member. You may consciously think something more neutral or positive like "nice jumper". Something inoffensive.

We also need to remember the reasonable goals. We can't get rid of them, they were there all the time but we can change how we react to them so that they flash through and you automatically go "meh". That's what I do now. The thought has no more significance than me looking at some wallpaper and blanking out.

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I'm very much still a sufferer myself so it helps me to help others and learn from you all too.

[LiveAboveIt]

What is different about the days the tics aren't there? Are you less anxious? Are you feeling depressed? I found it was about activation so low mood could have the opposite effect on it and help. Getting a cold was a major plus as it decreased my anxiety significantly!

Intrusive thoughts will just pop into your head, you won't play a part in generating them at a conscious level. For example, someone with Harm-Based OCD would look at a family member and then in pops "KILL THAT PERSON". You wouldn't think something like that by looking at a family member. You may consciously think something more neutral or positive like "nice jumper". Something inoffensive.

We also need to remember the reasonable goals. We can't get rid of them, they were there all the time but we can change how we react to them so that they flash through and you automatically go "meh". That's what I do now. The thought has no more significance than me looking at some wallpaper and blanking out.

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I'm very much still a sufferer myself so it helps me to help others and learn from you all too.

I'm not really sure what's different, to be honest. It seems to just come and go sporadically. Like today for example, I haven't had any issues with the thought repeating or any of that. But yesterday when I was watching TV, it felt like something in my mind or focus changed and I found myself mildly repeating what was being said, as it was being said, almost as if I knew what was going to be said before it was. Now clearly I'm not psychic, because I couldn't tell you what was going to be said beforehand. I imagine it has something to do with my brain being in such a fast, chaotic state that it simply processed the information and made me feel as though I was repeating it as it was being said, but actually it was just taking in the information.

But it is strange how randomly it comes and goes. I've had days where it's been nonstop and then days where it doesn't appear at all, regardless of anxiety level. I do notice however, the more I fear it, the longer it stays around.. But as far as when it does come around, that seems entirely random and just happens, before I even think about it.

And while I get common intrusive thoughts at times, I think I misunderstood my racing mind and inability to control my worry as "intrusive thoughts" because I simply want to slow my mind down and not think about the anxiety or whatever is currently racing through my mind. I always feel like I'm in a constant state of high adrenaline and I just wake up this way every morning. It gets better towards the end of the night, usually about 12 hours or so after waking.

Zoloft seems to amplify this issue and has almost an activating quality towards my anxiety and head buzzing/racing, which is why I was trying to quickly taper down. It just seems like I get worse about 3-4 hours after I take the pill.. It starts mildly about an hour or so afterwards and just builds from there. Although I don't think Zoloft is the cause in the least, but it definitely seems to aggravate the anxiety and put me in a low mood where suicide seems "easy" and the thoughts are relentless.