Been bad for 2 weeks today

[Mojo61]

I've had some sort of relapse I think. I was doing so well after almost 3 months on 10mg although I was nowhere near "cured". Then all of a sudden 2 weeks ago I came crashing back down and it has got progressively worse since then. It did correspond with a change in my HRT patches but I've since reverted back to the old ones but I'm still bad. Sleep is awful, appetite has gone again, racing thoughts, questioning everything, horrible physical symptoms like pounding heart, dry mouth, sweating and shaking etc.

Went to see my doctor yesterday who increased my dose to 20mgs and said 10 won't really do anything, that it is just a starting dose and he was surprised that I'd had improvement on them. Well I'm too frightened to take the new ones now because my anxiety is so bad at the moment that I'm not sure how I would cope with a possible increase in it! Also I have taken on a job volunteering one day a week at age concern and now I don't even think I can do that and I'm going to have to tell them I can't come in at the moment. I don't think this is helping my anxiety and I feel guilty because they've just paid out to have a full DBS check done on me.

Sorry for the moan, just feeling awful after a night of no sleep and racing thoughts :weep::weep::weep:

[karenp]

I started out 4 times on 10mg and found that dose even hard but 20mg DID increase my symptoms for a while.I only really got 100% well when I went from 20 to 30 and right up to 40 and then was perfect, Going from 30 to 40 was actually the easiest of all irionically!!! 10 to20,I found the the hardest but worth it in the end!! But remember we are all different xxx

[Mojo61]

Thanks Karen. What sort of time scale was that over?

[Shazamataz]

Hey Mojo, sorry it's not improving for you. We both relapsed on the same day!

If it helps, for some reason I have improved in the past couple of days. Still not great but noticeably better. It just kind of happened with no particular thing I can attribute it to. Still very on edge about going really bad again but being cautiously optimistic.

Saw psychiatrist today and she's given me a script for venlafaxine to try but I will have to build up to the idea first. She's fairly adamant that it works well in combination with Mirtazapine. We shall see. I've become very medication phobic after the state I was in restarting SSRIs over Christmas so really have to talk myself into it being okay before I proceed.

If it can happen to me (sudden improvement) it can happen to you. Even some relief from the horrid symptoms is a blessing.

Hugs

[Mojo61]

Aww I'm so pleased you are feeling a little brighter Shaz and I hope you continue to improve!

I have just ordered a book I was recommended to read "At last a life" and although I've ordered the paperback edition (I prefer to read a hard copy than an e-version) I did download a sample onto my iPad and have just read that. In it the author says to get on with your day regardless of how you feel because if you give in to your horrible symptoms then it is just reaffirming those feelings and going round in an everlasting circle. I learned all this at my CBT course but I guess I've been so engrossed in my physical symptoms that I couldn't see the wood for the trees!

Had such a bad night last night, kept waking up with a pounding heart and sweating/worrying about all sorts of things. Consequently I felt dreadful this morning at 6am. I had to go and feed some cats for a friend who is on holiday and then when I got back I thought I'd go back to bed as I felt so tired and unwell. So here I am laying in bed at 9.22am still worrying and feeling unwell, so I'm going to force myself to get up now and do some housework, have a shower, perhaps go food shopping, because laying here ruminating isn't going to do anything except make me ruminate more! Even if I feel rotten I'm going to carry on and will report back later on how it all went.

[Becky2785]

That book mojo is really good it makes u see anxiety in a whole new light well it did for me I hope u find it helps. I hope ur ok and u will get there eventually even tho it doesn't seem like it take care xx