Will I be on this forever, anyone else the same or is it just me?

[hopeful1]

Have been on Citalopram on and off for 8 years. Now on 10 mgs in summer and 20 in winter. I have tried to come off them altogether but when I reduce them my stress level goes up and my anxiety with all my odd symptoms comes back. Are there other people out there with the same dilema? Feeling very isolated.

---------- Post added at 18:51 ---------- Previous post was at 16:59 ----------

When I say dilemma I mean wanting to stop them but being unable to.

[KeeKee]

It all depends on whether you feel ready to come off them. This could also mean potentially having to deal with a relapse of your original issue.
I took antidepressants for almost 6 years and got fed up of the weight gain, tiredness (averaged 10 hours sleep each night, probably more) and lack of positive emotions as well as bad. I quit cold turkey which is not advised but I was so adamant I would get off them, I knew I would have no regrets and 2 years later I don't regret coming off them to any degree. I genuinely believe they destroyed who I once was and my partner thinks so too. It's all personal preference, could you cope without them? Is there any particular reason you don't wish to take them forever?
I will say my depression is the worst it's ever been. But I believe that is more of a situational thing and antidepressants only had a minor impact on my depression anyway (which admittedly was mild at the time).
It may help if you research what it's like to come off and read other people's experiences. I Googled for hours and hours each day for months on end before I realised that I did, without a doubt wish to get off them. Do what is right for you, just make sure you are prepared either way.

[Debs21uk]

Hi,

I've been up and down on citalopram for 12 years, I've occasionally tried to come off it but about 2months later I come back crashing down. I've got to the point where I've accepted I may need to be on it all the time as its about quality of life at the end of the day. I might just not produce enough chemicals naturally and I've had to accept that.

I've had another dip recently due to stress then dosage changes but compared to how I feel now to what I feel on citalopram, I'd take the citalopram days every time! Just because you are on it doesn't make you immune to future episodes, I've only just learnt this after 4 recurrent episodes of anxiety and depression.

However you might be okay off it, I just know from experience I'm not.

Take care x

[Victory2016]

You may want to try to wean off very slowly I weaned off for about 9 months i was on 20mg went down 5mg every six weeks or so. However I had a very stressful event in my life due to the loss of my mother. Six months later I had to go back on them, so not sure if i would have been ok or not due to the circumstances in my life. I rather be on the meds for quality of life. Without them I can barely function.

[hopeful1]

Gosh I identify with everyone. I would love to be "normal", by that I mean how I used to be without Citalopram. Perhaps chemically I just need them as every crisis produces a reaction I just can't deal with without Citalopram, the last crisis was my mother dying. I have also had PTSD for other events and plenty of therapy. On the surface everyone thinks I have a fortunate life, little do people know what lurks beneath the surface! I will give the reduction by 5mg every 6 weeks a whirl, perhaps I have reduced too quickly before. Would so love to come off them and lose the label chubs as well because of the weight I've gained! So pleased you all answered, it can be such a lonely path to follow, trying to deal with myself even though I know it isn't just me. Thank you.

[Victory2016]

Gosh I identify with everyone. I would love to be "normal", by that I mean how I used to be without Citalopram. Perhaps chemically I just need them as every crisis produces a reaction I just can't deal with without Citalopram, the last crisis was my mother dying. I have also had PTSD for other events and plenty of therapy. On the surface everyone thinks I have a fortunate life, little do people know what lurks beneath the surface! I will give the reduction by 5mg every 6 weeks a whirl, perhaps I have reduced too quickly before. Would so love to come off them and lose the label chubs as well because of the weight I've gained! So pleased you all answered, it can be such a lonely path to follow, trying to deal with myself even though I know it isn't just me. Thank you.

Thats how I feel! Its like I need them due to chemical imbalance and I am unable to handle stress like I use too. I am sorry for the loss of your Mother. Its a very hard thing. I lost my mom in January and I am still having a hard time.

Just take it really slow I think doctors ween patients off to fast. Think about how long it took for your body to adjust to the meds, so it gonna take just as long or if not longer to adjust as you come off them. Who knows maybe you will find that you only need a maintenance dose of 10mg or 5mg and feel good and on top of that maybe you will lose some of the weight that you want to lose.

[hopeful1]

I am sorry too for the loss of your mum Victory, it is really early days yet so be kind to yourself. Mine died January last year, we had an extremely complicated history which contributed to my previous PTSD but somehow we made our peace before she died. I hope you have some wonderful memories of your mum to look back on, it is hard now I know, but it will get easier, I'm becoming an experienced bereaver the older I get!
You hit the nail on the head when you said how long it takes to get used to meds, such a good analogy, we forget those first weeks and months. Puts it in perspective how long realistically it should take to reduce or stop them when put like that. Take care.

[AthenaFaeyrn]

I'm in a sort of similar situation. I've been suffering with my mental health for around 13 years now and I'm having to go back onto meds. The prospect of it terrified me because I'm getting the real feeling that this could be for life. I'm trying to come to terms with this though, because I can't stand how I feel off them at all. I didn't feel like the meds changed who I was, but they did change my emotions for the better. I think as long as you can find the right med for you, it's surely better to have it in your life.

I'm trying to come to terms with it by thinking of it this way: Everyone brushes their teeth every morning for the health of their teeth and gums. Taking meds is the same: it's just something you do each day to help your health, like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast.

[Debs21uk]

Sorry for your loss ladies :weep:

I would really emphasise come off them very, very slowly. My dr when I came off them after 6 years did it in a month, needless to say it didn't go well. Then recently in a blip my doctor has had me up and down doses 6 times in 8 weeks which has had me all over the place. You know your body and mind best so don't let them hurry you in this, it's really important to do it slow.

I wish you all the best with withdrawing from the meds. Remember if it doesn't work out it might just be a bad time and there is no shame in admitting you need them x

[sollythegolly]

Apart from the medication, are you doing anything else to reduce your stress and anxiety? For example, mindfulness or cognitive behavioural techniques. My understanding of SSRIs is that they (eventually....) take the edge off anxiety, but do not provide the 'cure'. Reframing of the thought processes that are making you anxious will do that. I would highly recommend that you take up some form of thought reframing as an adjunct to your medication. Hope that helps a bit......