Distrusting memories

[Peterthegreatworrier]

Hello again. It's been quite a while since I last made a post on this site - my new medication regime has worked wonders:D
However, I once again feel the need for a little advice.
I am a psychology student, and am very familiar with the concept of false memories. I not only learnt how easy it was to create false memories, but that confidence in one's memory does not make it any more likely to be true. Naturally, my pure-O driven brain accordingly started doubting several of my long cherished memories. These aren't of events that I can just confirm by asking the people involved in them - for the most part they were the only times I met those people. I have been questioning some memories so much that they no longer feel like they ever happened.
I am aware of something called memory distrust syndrome which is often associated with OCD, and also the fact that obsessing over memories (such as whether you locked the door) increases distrust in them.
I would be glad to hear from anyone with similar experiances or otherwise has some sort of advice they could be kind enough to offer.
Best regards, Peterthegreatworrier

[Noivous]

Hey Pete - Not sure if this is the same but I once in awhile second guess myself after leaving home. Oh did I turn off the indoor grill. Grr I know I did but if I'm wrong I'll burn the house to the ground. I'll go back and of course the grill is off. Just once I'd like there to be a fire lol. And I will say I do have a couple of old memories that I'm not quite sure if they were a dream. Oh well. Very interesting topic though.

N.

[Peterthegreatworrier]

Yeah, I guess it's kind of a similar thing. There are several research articles on the Internet which talk about how constant checking actually increases uncertainty to whether you checked it or not! It's probably a similar story in my case, I suppose. Thanks!
Peterthegreatworrier

[Noivous]

Let me ask - is it debilitating in any way? Are you overly concerned about it? You don't seem to be.

N.

[Peterthegreatworrier]

It's distressing me a bit, but I'm not doing that bad. I have emailed my psychologist already, so I'm waiting for his reply.
I appriciate your concern :welcome:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yeah, I guess it's kind of a similar thing. There are several research articles on the Internet which talk about how constant checking actually increases uncertainty to whether you checked it or not! It's probably a similar story in my case, I suppose. Thanks!
Peterthegreatworrier

Checking is a form of compulsion in OCD. Any compulsion reinforces the obsession. It's ticking the final box in a process so that it goes back around to the start again.

The more you conduct compulsions, the more you trap yourself in OCD because you confirm the obsession as having purpose.

As a psychology student, you want to look at the many biases. I bet you will find several that fit to how you are viewing your memories causing you to doubt them.

[Peterthegreatworrier]

Thanks Terry - and nice to see you again :)
Yeah, perhaps I should look deeper into my psychology books - I'm sure I'll find something reasuring there!
Regards, Peterthegreatworrier

[MyNameIsTerry]

Nice to see you again, Peter. :biggrin:

I can't say I know about the syndrome you mention, I would have to read about that one, but the compulsion side you mention is common in OCD cycles. Constant mental checking is one of those covert compulsions Pure O sufferers do and since OCD is all about doubt, often guilt, lack of self trust, etc we start talking ourselves into situations that don't exist.

I went through a brief spell of this with a memory of a relationship and it bothered me for a few weeks until I reasoned it out and accepted it. It was something playful with a GF and she said something innocently and we laughed it off. This must have been 15 years ago. Up pops these intrusive thoughts about "what if she wasn't joking?" But the thing is, if she wasn't she would have been upset, it was a role play thing and if it had been real to her she wouldn't have gone out with me another 6 months and been fine with me as well as remaining friends after for a time until we all moved on. My OCD was taking this memory and trying to skew it into "you are a bad person" of some kind.

This is where the biases come in. There is a great big list of them on Wiki and some relate to incorrectly judging the past. For us we have additional challenges with this because we are already struggling with irrational thought processes, Cognitive Distortions and we have fear reactions involved that add weight as well as emotions involved.

I've seen some of the cases of OCD with false memories too but these may not be what you are talking about since these are actual memories? Maybe similar thought processes are going on there though? Some people worry about whether their parents abused them when very young, for instance. I wonder whether the same doubting thought processes go on whether memories are real, so as to twist them, or whether they don't exist and whether to twist interpretation of what "may" have happened that can't even be remembered?