I have full blown health anxiety again

[Worried_Male]

5 years ago I first joined this site. I was really bad at the time. Convinced I was at death's door.

I got over it in time and started to live a normal life again. I got married, I was happy. I stopped citalopram about a year ago.

It all started again a couple of weeks ago. I started getting dizzy spells, which have now turned into a feeling of constant lightheadness. Then yesterday I got a pain in one of my testicles. Ever since I've been checking them obessesively convinced I have cancer.

My dad passed away last Monday and I'm wondering if that has anything to do with it. I thought I was over this and hoped I would never feel this awful feeling again. I can't focus on anything, I can't eat , I can't even talk to my wife and kids.

[unsure_about_this]

Sorry for your loss Worred_ Male

One thing which caught my eye was the testicle, I been down that route of worry 6 weeks ago I made an appointment because I thought I felt something, my GP was unsure what it was, but did asked me how often I check per month. I had the ultrasound, had specialist feel them he could not even feel anything odd. all what came back with some small cysts relating to the epdidymis, no other problems seen, no action needed at thisstage,

If you are worried please see a GP about your testicle problem, it may be because you keep checking them, I had obessively checking them when my aunt got diagonsed with breast cancer a couple of weeks before, but she is doing fine, caught it very very easy, stage 1, bit of treatment.

The best think to do if you are worried about testicles

[Worried_Male]

We recently moved so my wife has been registering me at the Drs. She called today and said it will be Wednesday at the earliest.

No idea what I'm going to do until then.

[Carnation]

Yes, absolutely it has something to do with your dad passing.

I have been in a similar position to you at my mum's bedside and my anxiety is crippling me at the moment. Trauma, worry and stress can increase your anxiety.
At the moment I keep grabbing on to things because I think I am going to collapse, let alone all the other stuff.

You will come through it. x

[Beckybecks]

Yes, your Dad's passing would definitely have triggered this.
Try to remember what strategies you used five years ago to help you cope this time round. Look back at your posts on this forum if possible.

But keep in mind that you got through it before and you will again. Just hold on to that thought.

Until you can see a doctor try to keep yourself occupied. I find distraction is helpful.

I've found that any big changes in my life will trigger my anxiety. This brings on the HA which in turn brings more anxiety, more symptoms, more anxiety. They feed each other and you need to break the loop.

Hope you feel better soon. And meantime chat to everyone on this forum, it really helps to be with like minded people.

[Worried_Male]

My wife said we should go to the urgent care centre later.

I don't even know what to tell them.

[Beckybecks]

Tell them exactly what you've told us

[Creesy]

My wife said we should go to the urgent care centre later.

I don't even know what to tell them.

Hi mate,

I know exactly how you feel I lost my Dad back in October there and its been really difficult. Took a few weeks off to arrange funeral etc and it all went past in a blur.

Really struggling to cope as well just wrote an essay there. Sitting at my desk just now having done very little work trying to fight the dizziness and tiredness till 5pm. Get home lay there not sleeping then it all starts again tomorrow.

I would be open and honest about it, just try to relax and start from the beginning to where you are and how you feel at present. I can easily type this but I get flustered and go a million miles an hour at the Dr and come out annoyed and frustrated I've missed out things and didn't say what I wanted to say properly.

I am getting an urge to call my gp but I don't know what to say, I'm getting to the point I want to walk in and just hit the floor and beg for help!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Many of us saw how you talked about your dad, he was your hero. Losing him has been a very traumatic experience and all that emotion is going to come out somewhere. Your anxiety coming back will be because of this, you had months of hospitals but were concentrating on the care of your dad.

I would wait and see the regular GP rather than rush to urgent care. Could your wife be reacting to the distress she can see you in which may be intensified by your emotional state right now?

Your symptoms are classic anxiety and so are the behaviours. A pain in the testicles for one day could be anything and maybe it could be gone tomorrow so why would it be cancer? That's classic HA skewed thinking and panic. Maybe waiting a few days will reveal a GP isn't even needed?

[Worried_Male]

I need to get to the bottom of this constant lightheadedness. Which is obviously making me worried. I can't even put it down to my dad's death as I started getting it before then.

I self-medicated Lorazepam in this time frame, so I'm hoping it's something like that.

[MyNameIsTerry]

But you were under incredible pressure when your dad was ill. Did it come on during this period or before? If it was before your dad became ill then, whilst it may have worsened due to the stress, I can understand how a different root cause is a possibility. But if it came on during, then it could be an anxiety response due to the stress.

[Worried_Male]

Went to the urgent care centre last night. Ended up leaving as we waited for 3 hours.

The nurse took my blood pressure and I had a reading of about 139/91, which is quite high, but the nurse said it's normal for someone feeling anxious.

Just trying to wait it out for my appointment tomorrow. Did a bit of shopping today with minimal lightheadness, which was good.

[Creesy]

Hi Mate,

It could be the meds, I got lightheaded on Propranalol within a few days I felt sedated on it, turned out wasn't for me and I think it was too high a dose to start on, this was also before my Dads passing just to cope with GAD.

I got dizzy before my Dad passed back in October as well and Dr said it was an Ear infection, it has come back with a vengeance, I'm thinking is it my ear or my anxiety, cant tell since then so I know what you are going through, its horrible.

Best thing to do is to see your Doc tell him about the meds and about your dizziness see what he thinks and get a check up put your mind at ease. I keep holding out to go back even though the dizziness has been here for over a month now.

[Worried_Male]

Hi Mate,

It could be the meds, I got lightheaded on Propranalol within a few days I felt sedated on it, turned out wasn't for me and I think it was too high a dose to start on, this was also before my Dads passing just to cope with GAD.

I got dizzy before my Dad passed back in October as well and Dr said it was an Ear infection, it has come back with a vengeance, I'm thinking is it my ear or my anxiety, cant tell since then so I know what you are going through, its horrible.

Best thing to do is to see your Doc tell him about the meds and about your dizziness see what he thinks and get a check up put your mind at ease. I keep holding out to go back even though the dizziness has been here for over a month now.

There was a point where I had to hold onto my daughter when picking her up from school as I felt so dizzy and felt like I was about to pass out. Another time I had to leave my shopping and walk out of Tescos.

The last couple of days have definitely been an improvement.

[Creesy]

I know mate I had that in the supermarket the other day and had to make a swift exit back to the car before I passed out started getting the little dots in the eyes etc and the panic under it all wasnt helping, mines started after I was getting back to the gym and started decorating. Just keeping myself busy basically and it all came to a hault with the dizziness now.

I definately thought I had a bug or Ear infection but now Im thinking it could be the stress and anxiety thats risen over the last few months and I just didnt see it. Im going to wait a another few days see how it goes and if its still here I'll let my GP no, Ive been having a few meltdowns with it basically so stick in their mate hopefully will pass.

[Worried_Male]

It's just occurred to me that my first spell of health anxiety began in 2010, literally weeks after my uncle died. Now again after dad's death.

I think something about death of people close to me triggers my HA. Makes me realise death is real and can happen to you.

[Creesy]

It's just occurred to me that my first spell of health anxiety began in 2010, literally weeks after my uncle died. Now again after dad's death.

I think something about death of people close to me triggers my HA. Makes me realise death is real and can happen to you.

There is that and also that your body will be going into shock as well, I was unfortunate that I left work to see if he was ok as I was the only one with keys and found him in the house passed away.

I think there was massive guilt there for me as well asking what if I had went round to see him the day before etc would he still be here.

I just went completely numb almost with shock and wasn't till the last couple of months I've really started to feel it.

Dont make the mistake I did and go full on, I tried to stay busy all the time so I didnt have to face it and it basically has caught up with me, just burned out

[Worried_Male]

There is that and also that your body will be going into shock as well, I was unfortunate that I left work to see if he was ok as I was the only one with keys and found him in the house passed away.

I think there was massive guilt there for me as well asking what if I had went round to see him the day before etc would he still be here.

I just went completely numb almost with shock and wasn't till the last couple of months I've really started to feel it.

Dont make the mistake I did and go full on, I tried to stay busy all the time so I didnt have to face it and it basically has caught up with me, just burned out

So sorry to hear that. That must've been awful. Nothing has hurt me in life as much as losing my dad. He was always there for me. I could always count on him.

Yep, I can relate to the guilt. My dizziness prevented me from seeing my dad for a few days before he passed away. Obviously if I knew he was near the end I would've walked over hot coals whilst dizzy to see him.

I sit here kicking myself for not having that extra few days with him. My fault for taking that bloody Lorazepam.

[Creesy]

Thanks, See that is an issue as well I had a weird dream the night he must have passed that my back molars were getting pulled out and I woke freaking out, I dont usually have dreams that I can remember and especially as weird and intense.

Anyway point is I woke then thought about my Dad never went to see him the next day as I was too tired from working all day. Then at lunch I started to receive loads of texts from Gran and Uncle asking if I had seen him, I knew at that point something was definitely wrong and you know the rest.

The guilt for me was instant and I kept asking what if and the fact I was the only other one with keys and hadnt been to see him got me really down. I tried to hide it from Family and havent really said since about it but its always there with me. He had few issues with medical wise but nothing which we thought was life threatening.

Going back to the dream at the start as well I ended up googling this and first thing that came up was that its usually a sign of losing someone you love, that sent chills up my spine! I swear i am not into things like that and I dont ever look into anything to do with dreams or whatever but that really got to me.