Need Help,Advice and/or Coping Strategy!

[Creesy]

Hi Guys,

I'm on the verge of breaking down, I am really at my limit now, every day is a complete struggle to cope without sounding overly dramatic.

I am completely exhausted is the best way to sum up how I'm feeling, the constant mix between my anxiety and undiagnosed health issues have both been feeding off one another now for the last 2-3 months with the last 4 weeks being the most intense!

I have been having problems with my stomach as I have posted recently and currently awaiting a colonoscopy, at the same time I have been getting really dizzy spells that are constant and go up to quite intense levels at any random intervals. Also issues with my back as well, neck and back are so tight and constantly clicking, fizzing, popping, aching and random ticking spasms. Clicking and ringing in ears as well as dull sensations in ear. Weird palpitations especially in bed and slight pains around chest also.

I also have came out last week in a petechiae (pin prick blood rash) on chest and stomach and been getting really bad tingling and numbness especially during the night which wakes me.

That brings me on to my sleep I am having major issues with my sleep and fatigue, I have never been a good sleeper and always taken a while to nod off but now with the aches, pains twitches etc I am not getting to sleep till early hours in the morning 2-3 hours before my alarm goes sometimes awake right through, this is adding stress and anxiety on as I enjoy my job its interfering with my job and concentration as well!

I have always had general anxiety more in the social side but with these issues I am having I find it very difficult to work out what is caused by my anxiety/stress and what is actually happening with my body if that makes sense?

The intense dizziness and lack of sleep while still trying to go to work and do day to day things is really breaking me down to the point I'm so close to giving up tbh. Just trying to cope with the physical sensations or symptoms is a battle, days off have became me either trying to catch up on sleep or having to sit and rest to deal with the dizziness, fatigue etc.

I know it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself but I'm honestly not. I getting so frustrated and angry with it now its taking all my energy physically and mentally to get by each day at the moment, I cant physically do anything even slightly demanding without feeling out of breath and dizzy enough that I want to sit down.

I have almost given up going to my GP as I feel like a hypochondriac and embarrassed to book appointments and having to get away from work to go. I have started going to private counselling after work but it's still early days and need to re-book a chiropractors appointment to see about getting the tension out of my neck and back.

I just don't want to lose control and take time off work, I know health should come first but I really do enjoy this job an terrified I take time off and it changes things or I end of out of work. Its not the feeling of 'doom' its the realism that I am really not coping.

I just want things to go back to the way they were, the GAD was fine compared to this on and off days were manageable, this is too constant and intense to cope with! I honestly am lost and don't know where to start, I feel that debilitated with it.

Thanks anyone who reads through this, sorry for the essay just so much going on, if anyone has similar or been in this position any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks

[TaylorC]

Sorry to hear that you're struggling so much right now. Dealing with anxiety can be incredibly difficult, especially when your anxiety is health related.
I think if you want to cope with or recover from anxiety - you need a plan.

Firstly, discover what your anxiety trigger is. There's a reason right now that you're feeling anxious and that you're struggling to sleep and feeling dizzy.

It could be that you're anxious about your physical symptoms, like the stomach problems you've been having, and you're stuck in a bit of a cycle. For example, your anxiety might be causing you to feel dizzy, and then you get anxious about being dizzy and the cycle continues.

Or perhaps something else in your life is causing you to feel anxious?

If it is the physical symptoms that are making you anxious, then you need to visit the doctor and get yourself checked out. Never feel embarrassed or ashamed to go to your doctor - it's what they are there for.

If you've already been checked out and you've been told you're fine, then you need to accept that your symptoms can't hurt you and stop fearing them. This will calm down your nervous system, and your anxiety in the process.
But, it's easier said than done and it takes time.

In the meantime, please don't feel like you are going to lose control - because you aren't going to lose control. No matter how bad you feel, anxiety will never make your mind lose control.

I'm currently in the process of reading one of Claire Weeke's books, and it talks about a lot of the symptoms you've described, like breathlessness, and most of them are caused by the nervous system being so oversensitized by anxiety.

It's not harmful, but it makes you feel pretty crappy. I would definitely recommend her books.

Also, in regards to taking time off, if you think that will help you to calm down then do so.

I hope that helps you at least a little.

[Creesy]

Hi TaylorC,

Thanks for replying, thats my problem I cant tell whats wrong and whats just caused by anxiety the physical symptoms are that intense its hard not to keep calm and worry that nothing is wrong if that makes sense.

I was stressing about my stomach and whats wrong but Dr thinks its IBS but to rule anything else out due to family history of Diverticulitis and Crohns disease which my Dad passed away with their in October last year I was stressing to start. The medication has helped with the uncomfortable pains and bathroom visits alot but the dizziness, tiredness and fatigue have kept me stressed and anxious.

I have been trying to keep busy after a terrible year of having a breakdown early last year and losing my job from taking the time off to losing my Dad but have always tried to keep busy. Tried to get healthier and more active by going to the gym at the start of the year and re-decorated the house etc but since the dizziness etc has flared up I cant do anything without getting out of breath really easily and aggravating my dizzy spells.

This has left my struggling to pretty much do anything, even relaxing is hard with the dizziness, spasms etc. Its getting me really agitated all the time and reducing my mood.

I have been to the docs with neck issues at start of the year which he put down to being at the gym etc then i went with stomach problems and complained of feeling really dizzy which he put down to an ear infection I had last year, then I went back again and told him its worse which he gave me anti sickness and dizziness tablets, I have nearly finished them and can say they haven't worked.

I just wanted to try and get on with things and try to get active and keep an active mind and the physical symptoms have sent me 3 steps backwards.

I really want to take time off as its breaking point for me but theres a few people with holidays either just now or coming up so I cant take as holiday. I think if I took time off it will just make things worse for me in here in terms of it would upset the team as they need me, I am a man down at the moment anyway but dont want to get into my personal problems with them if that makes sense?

I honestly dont know what to do, I feel trapped and dont know how to deal with all of this. Its making my work a dread now to come to which I dont want it to get to that point the way I am when I have to try to sleep.

The problem is that I cant understand what actually triggers the dizziness to intensify it just seems to be randomly, I could be sitting in bed nearly sleeping to sitting watching TV not thinking anything stressful etc.

I keep trying to re-assure myself if I do have a meltdown its not the end of the world but losing control and taking time off sick with the possibility of losing my job again is getting to me. I lost alot last time and got myself into debt with missing bills etc.

[Beckybecks]

I really do understand how you're feeling. When we're anxious all the time we get confused about whats real and what is caused by the anxiety. As you say , one is feeding the other constantly and having problems with sleeping just makes it even worse for you.

I've had IBS since I was a child, always triggered by anxiety. At times I've thought I must surely have something seriously wrong to have all this pain. But I've proved to myself that it's all down to the anxiety. It always clears up eventually. It's a very common anxiety symptom.

Neck pain is very common with anxiety too. We tense our muscles without realizing it . I've spent alot of money over the years on physio, and worried about 'what it might be'. Now I Just use an infra red lamp.

Head problems are always scary. Head aches, fuzzy head, dizziness. But if you accept them as symptoms of anxiety and nothing more they WILL go. Look on this forum at how many people suffer from dizziness.

Our main problem is that we just can't accept that these symptoms are all due to anxiety. We want to find something else. We go for tests, then we don't believe the tests, so we go for more tests.......

I can imagine that you feel you're at the end of your rope and that you're worried about what wll happen next. Nothing will happen though . You're learning how to cope and as you do, you'll get better.

Why not go to a doctor and tell him what you've written in your post? Get some medication to help with the anxiety. Because that's actually what needs to be treated. Not all the symptoms.

[Creesy]

Thanks Becky,

I know I was lying in bed last night with niggles in chest then spasms then fuzzy head etc etc and I try not to focus on them and try to relax, got the headspace app and a sleep app on my mobile and try to tune out but so hard to ignore the symptoms. It just keeps trying to pull me into panicking and concentrating on it.

It was unfortunate timing because I was actually going to gym being more sociable etc and just all come from nowhere and has really spiralled. I need to try and really tell my Doc how I am feeling and try to not go in a million miles an hour and try to make light almost of my situation.

I just want even a couple of days for the dizziness to ease up and I am passed the worry of whats wrong with my stomach I have told myself its just IBS and nothing more serious. I am motivated and keen to go back to gym and get out an about again but feel like the dizziness and fatigue is really holding me back and making it really uncomfortable.

Yesterday was actually not too bad enough that I tidied up my flat which it has been needing and had a plan to go get a juicer and go to supermarket and get vegetables and fruit try to detox a bit which all went to plan.

Then I came home sat and watched the football with a mate and started feeling really dizzy and agitated, I wasn't stressing or negative thinking etc. I started going through the motions of trying to stay calm inside and let it pass but it pretty much stayed with me through to 4am this morning. I can cope with the symptoms so much that I dont show it or very little on the outside but inside is a struggle.

I have issues with trying to go on medication again I tried propranalol a few years ago and wasn't the best experience probably made it worse if anything, I actually asked him for anxiety tablets again as its that bad and he was going to prescribe me paroxetine but wanted me to try anti dizziness and sickness tablets first which I was all for, I've tried my best to avoid anxiety/depression tabs over the years but at the stage now I'll do anything to make it better.

[Beckybecks]

Difficult to go about our normal daily routine when we feel like this.
And I doubt it's a good idea to do anything too strenuous atm. You're tired and need to rest your body. Gentle exercise like walking is good. In fact walking is a life saver for me.

I don't thnk you should try to make light of your condition when you see the doctor. I know it's hard to explain everything and we get so little time as it is. What I do is to list all my symptoms on a paper and let the dctor read it. It's quicker and you're telling him exactly what he needs to know without the emotions getting in the way.

I told the doctor what I wanted stead of waiting for hm to suggest something. I asked for somehing for the IBS and he gave me Colofac and I asked for a mild anxiety reliever and he gave me Lorazepam 1mg. I can take these just when I need them instead of taking something long term. I was on antidepressants for years and decided I don't want to go that route anymore. Like you I too have issues with medications.

Otherwise I use CBT, walking, distraction in any form, whether it's work, chatting to people or a hobby.

You probably feel like you've run a marathon and Are exhausted so it's tempting to just sit or lie on your bed, but unless you're sleeping your thoughts can get the better of you so to to keep occupied even if it's just a crossword puzzle or a game on your iPad.

The dizziness will go. When the anxiety eases up.

[Creesy]

Thanks Becky,

Thats all I want is for it to ease up had GAD/Depression for approx 5 years but never experienced symptoms so bad like this before.

I do always try to have a smile on my face and be positive and sometimes I think that the Dr may feel I am not in as much as I am if that makes sense, Im not trying to read him or assume but it always seems to take a few appointments before I get through to them.

There is no way I could go to the gym like you say its hard enough to do light house work, I need to get my head around the fear and comfort of going out a walk feeling dizzy etc. I'll try a short walk from the house tonight as in the beginning with the stomach issues I didn't want to drift too far from the toilet.

I need to get some more relaxing hobbies for when this flares up as my hobbies were the gym and alot of more strenuous physical activities, even sitting relaxing trying to play video games is doing my head in now!

I need to find a decent local counsellor who really specialises in CBT alot of them are just out of reach from me and my workplace for appointments. Im going to start using audiobooks in work and listening to self help books while I work.

[Beckybecks]

A lot of us anxiety sufferers are really good actors too! We like to put on a brave face and pretend to the world that we're absolutely fine. We don't want anyone to pity us or possibly to think we're a little bit mad? lol. It's important for us to look normal.

I was fortunate to qualify for a trial online CBT course with a university so I could do it from home. It helped a lot but I would like to speak to a counselor face to face too sometimes.
But see if you can find anything online. It does make it easier sometimes if you can do it from home.

I know what you mean about the stomach issues. I'm having a flare up of IBS at the moment and have to make sure I'm completely empty before I leave home :). But the walking really does help with everything. Just ignore the dizziness, it won't get worse and you won't fall over.

Have you considered some sort of group therapy? A bit like being on this forum really. But all in one room together. Maybe we should try the Chat Room.

[Creesy]

I know I feel I'm losing my head all the time and just put a smile on and try to get on with things.

I'm ok chatting away on this not sure if I would like a group therapy session, the problem Ive always had with Dr referalls is that they sessions private or group are through 9-5 Mon-Fri when I work and I cant really get time away weekly or fortnightly to get to anything.

I have now made an effort to go private and find a counsellor that can accommodate evening sessions, went to the first one last week and went not too bad see how it goes over the next few weeks.

I really want to stay off meds but cant deal with this much more its taking to much out me to keep going without any ease up.